please forgive me, Internet friends

I've been neglecting the internet. Please do not call Blog Services to try and get my blog taken away from me. I promise to take better care of it, I'll feed it every day and stop locking it in the closet, I swear!

I'm not neglecting on purpose, you see, I mean to write almost every day. It's just that there's been a reappearance of my actual life recently and I kind of like it. Instead of coming straight home after work, sometimes I go out to dinner with friends or, yes, EVEN GO OUT INTO NATURE and commune with the squirrels and whatnot.

This past weekend Stiffie and I traveled to the faraway land of Indiana to visit Beau and, more importantly, Rigly (just kidding, Beau (no, she's not (shut up, split parenthetical personality))). Rigly is Beau's weimareiner and she has been added to the list of my favorite dogs. It's not a very long list, not because I don't love all dogs, but just because I don't know that many dogs on a personal level. Rigly, although she scratched the shit out of my arms, but it was OK because she only did it because she was JUST SO HAPPY, won my affection when she crawled into my lap while I was sitting in a flimsy lawn chair because she was scared of the firecrackers. And if there's one thing I love, it's when big dogs think they're little dogs and also it was JUST SO DAMN CUTE and if you'd been there you'd understand why it makes my heart ache a little just thinking about it.

Anyway, the weekend was full of fun and probably-not-so-intelligent activities, such as starting a bonfire in the 90 DEGREE HEAT (not intelligent) to seeing Bewitched (also not intelligent, but still funny because, duh, Will Ferrell) to introducing Beau to the wonder that is Napoleon Dynamite (totally intelligent) to taking Stiffie to a TJ Maxx when we had to be to the movie in an hour (maybe not intelligent, but she didn't even buy anything and do you hear that sound? That is my mind blowing.)

And I don't mean to blow your mind as well, Internet, but I have SO MANY PLANS this weekend. I'm not trying to brag, really, it's just that lately my weekends have consisted of sitting around and watching movies and, for some real excitement, LAUNDRY. So please allow me a moment to state the fact that I have plans Friday, Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday and they are all awesome . . . and in no small part is that because most of the plans involve my friend Mary who I have not seen in SEVEN MONTHS because she's been in Brazil. In fact, I get to see a LOT of my best friends this weekend and all I can say is watch out, Dayton, and don't say I didn't warn you and also, please do not call the police because we're just having fun and as far as I know that's not illegal in this country. Yet.

Amphibian love triangle

I went back to Cox Arboretum tonight, as I have done the past couple nights, because the weather has been absolutely gorgeous. I almost talked myself out of it, but thankfully realized that possibly missing Beauty and the Geek was not a good enough excuse not to go. Yeah, I know, it was close.

My new favorite part of Cox is the blind that overlooks the wetlands. There's usually no one else in there, I guess because you're basically staring at stagnant water while birds fly around and bullfrogs and turtles occasionally move. I don't care, it's peaceful.

Tonight, though, oh . . . tonight was a treat. I witnessed a bullfrog mating ritual. I think. I'm pretty sure, I mean, I don't know what else they could have been doing. And I thought, who else but you, dear Internet(s) could I share this special experience with.

There were three players, an amphibian love triangle with two men obsessed with the same woman while the woman played hard to get. The first male, who I will call Dawson, made the mating call (which, according to the information sheets hanging on the walls, apparently sounds like "jug a rum, more rum," like, whatever you say, information sheets, maybe you should lay off the rum) and then would hop through the water after the female, who I'll call Joey. Dawson would hop on top of Joey, but she was quick. She'd duck under the water out of his grasp. Smart Joey. Soon, the other male, who I'll call Pacey (duh) noticed the commotion and wanted in on the action. Soon he was "jug a rumming" toward Joey, too, but she kept darting away from both. This went on for about five minutes, as I watched with my chin resting on the edge of the open window.

I don't know if Joey chose Dawson or Pacey, but I was rooting for Pacey because Dawson looked like a self-important douchebag with a giant forehead (hence the name). I didn't get to see how the drama played out because a group of people chose that moment to stomp into the blind and they totally killed the mood.

Jennie's guide to life

When you come home from work and you take off your bra before your shoes OR your shirt, it's probably time to buy some new bras.

my computer is a dirty slut

I think my computer caught an STD from the Internet(s). I'm pretty sure it's just adware, and not spyware, which I suppose is like getting herpes of the mouth rather than herpes of the hoo-hoo.

Where can I get some free medicine for my whore of a computer?

WARNING: reading this could cause brain explosion

I don't know about all of you, but these are some of the scariest words I've ever read:

"Dr. Frist, a likely presidential candidate in 2008"*

Seriously. Fucking. Chilling.

*NYT article

Vurped

You know you've had too much coffee when you're dancing/jumping around to The Killers and you vurp*.

I think I need to go lie down for a minute.

*definition of a vurp: a burp followed by the taste or presence of vomit**

**I like doing this footnote thing***

***Because I'm lazy^

^And this way I don't have to form my thoughts into a coherent paragraph^^

^^Because that's a lot of work, ok?*^^*

*^^*The end

congratulations, you've been upgraded

Creepy McStaresALot said hi to me as I was headed into the mailroom* yesterday. I think I'm going to have to change his name to Friendly McStaresALot.

*No, I did not get stuck this time, but, unfortunately, I think most of my neighbors know me as "That girl who got stuck in the mailroom that one time." Le sigh.

hee, she said Cox

I got out of work a couple hours early today and I pondered for a great while (OK, five minutes) over what to do for the afternoon. Instead of doing what I really wanted (either take a nap in the AC or go to Best Buy to purchase Alias Season 2 and watch that for the rest of the afternoon) I decided to venture over to Cox (hee) Arboretum. I hadn't been there since, I think, 6th grade (for those counting, that was 11 years ago) and whenever I drive by on the way back from Kroger I always berate myself for never going.

So, ignoring the 90 degree heat and the blistering sun, I grabbed a bottle of water and my sunglasses, put my hair in a ponytail, changed into clothes I wouldn't mind burning once I got home, and was on my way.

Ok, I forgot how freaking COOL that place is. Not cool as in temperature wise because HELLO 90 degrees, but cool as in "oh my god, there's a chipmunk! There's a baby goose! There's a FROG! There's a turtle! There's an alligato--oh wait, that's fake, but look another frog!"

After wandering around the different paths and ponds, I decided to take a little hike on the Nature Trail because 1) I like Nature and 2) I have no hard feelings against Trails.

I will not say that I got lost, but after walking down paths blue-yellow, blue, yellow, red, E, G, D, and B, I will say I should have probably taken a map.

Things I also should have taken? More water, bug spray (freaking horse flies AS BIG AS MY HEAD), and my camera. Although, if I'd taken my camera, I probably would have spent more time staring at the little screen than at the actual scenery RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME and then I would have probably stepped on a chipmunk or something.

The only thing I didn't see (aside from hiking paths A, C, and F, of course) was the Butterfly House, because I wanted to save something new for next time.

And for a bonus? I FINALLY learned how to spell arboretum.

the one where I talk about pooping myself

This morning, ON MY DAY OFF, my phone rang at 7 AM. It was the delivery people calling to tell me they'd be at my apartment between 8 AM and 11 AM. I love how delivery people can give you this GIANT window when they're bringing you something. I mean, I do have a life. I was planning on lying around drinking coffee all morning which, granted, I did anyway but had to take a 20 minute break to watch two burly delivery men maneuver a washer and dryer through the hallway and pray they wouldn't break anything in my apartment.

I could have gone back to sleep after they called at 7, but I had to clean out the utility closet. Something I SHOULD have done last night when I got home from Mindy's graduation. Instead, I changed out of my fancy clothes (I wore a skirt and it reminded me why I don't wear skirts because it is physically impossible to sit like a lady while you're driving) into pajamas and sat down to watch Alias with a glass of wine.

Yes, that's right, I've broken out the Alias DVDs again so look for more posts where I'm paranoid that someone is following me or that I narrowly avoided being kidnapped by Russian spies.

I'm kind of torn on this whole washer and dryer thing. That is probably my biggest purchase ever (besides the actual apartment, but I can leave that here when I move) and I feel much more tied down now. On the other hand, now I can soil myself on a regular basis* without having to run all the way down to the laundry room.

*I am so sorry for that image

oh happy day

My little sister is graduating from high school today. They grow up so fast. Sniff.

gloatworthy

I'm only working three days this week. Who wants to touch me?*

*no hitting

ears bleeding . . . losing will to . . . live

When the radio station insists on playing Creed SEVERAL TIMES A DAY it really makes me want to hurt someone.

Mainly Scott Stapp, but he's not here.