Swimming:
"What's the big deal about Micheal Phelps? Oh. Never mind."
Rowing:
"Heh, heh . . . coxon."
Basketball:
"Is it bad that I'm happy the U.S. lost?"
Soccer:
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAL!!!!!"
Men's Gymnastics:
"Mmm, muscles."
Women's Gymnastics:
"Why do all these girls look like their growth has been stunted?"
Badminton:
"Wait, badminton is an Olympic event? WTF!?"
Table Tennis:
"And I thought badminton was bad."
Men's Beach Volleyball:
"This is just like Top Gun, only better, because Tom Cruise isn't there."
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