so scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young

In order for me to consider myself an responsible (key word) adult, the following things need to happen:

1. I need to stop calling Phoebe things like slut, whore, slutbag whore, bitch, and skank.
2. I need to stop eating Esther Price candy and calling it breakfast because, although it IS delicious (no, seriously, DELICIOUS), it is not exactly healthy.
3. I need to stop quoting The Office. Because randomly shouting "DOWNSIZING?" confuses people. Unless their names are Three-Hole-Punch Steve and Dwight K. Shrute.
4. I need to say "I Do" to something other than "would you like another shot of tequila?"
5. I need to pass a small child directly out of my vajayjay*.

So, yeah. I think I've got a while.

*I need to stop writing entries in my blog just so I can say "vajayjay" and giggle like a 12-year-old.