Monday, October 03, 2011

the not-so-secret circle

In honor of The Secret Circle books becoming a TV show, full of witchcraft and teenagers and hopefully some Dawson-drama, I reread The Secret Circle trilogy. I was going to talk about it as I read them, but given my track record of excitedly beginning a project only to forget about it halfway through (if even), I decided not to say anything until I finished it.

I'm a little ashamed to admit this next bit but only a little. I reserved the books at the library but some stupid teenagers got there before me and the waiting list was SO LONG. I'm usually pretty good about waiting for things like movies or music or clothes or, whatever, groceries but when I get it into my head that I want to read a particular book, I HAVE TO READ IT IMMEDIATELY. It's kind of sick. Like. I should maybe get that looked at. 

ANYWAY. I watched the first episode of The Secret Circle before I finished the books, which was OK because the show is different enough from the books that it didn't really matter. Like, on the show, Cassie's mom is murdered and that's why she moves in with her grandmother but in the book her mom is alive. They move to New England for some BS reason and Cassie's mom is around but totally useless so I guess that's why they killed her off on the TV show. Also, there are a bajillion more kids in the "Circle" in the book than there are on the show.

But, I digress. Since the show is so different from the books and since I read that the show, from the pilot forward, isn't following the same trajectory as the books, I feel perfectly alright sharing the entire plot of the books with you with no spoiler warnings whatsoever. Also, the Wackopedia page is sorely lacking so this kind of endeavor is really important for science and the world and stuff.

Part 1: The Initiation

Cassie is quiet, shy, and on vacation in Cape Cod for the summer. For some reason that is never fully explained, she hangs out with this girl named Portia, who is a total Regina George if there ever was one. One day, they're on the beach and a boy and his dog disrupt EVERYTHING by just walking by. Sure? It's at this point that you should just assume that all of this is taking place in a parallel universe where people don't act like real people. It will make the rest of the series much easier to swallow.

So anyway, the dog hits on Cassie and Portia is disgusted because EW dogs have germs. Seriously, what is wrong with this girl? At some point later, Cassie is hanging out by herself on the beach and she meets the boy again. SPARKS FLY. This guy is running away from Portia's brothers. They're chasing him because he's "different" OH and also one of them has a gun? Whatever. Cassie hides the guy and his dog in a boat and sends Portia's brothers in the wrong direction when they ask her where he went. Then Cassie and the boy share a special moment and almost make out and hallucinate that there's a silver cord connecting them, heart to heart. OH EXCUSE ME, I BARFED.

Cassie's mom decides that they're going to move in with Cassie's grandmother, to the same town and house where Cassie's mom grew up. Cassie is NOT HAPPY and is even NOT HAPPIER when she sees the piece of shit house and her piece of shit grandma.

Cassie soon meets some of the townsfolk, the most interesting of whom are members of The Club, a group that all other students fear for some reason. Faye is a mean girl who tries to set Cassie on fire, while her friends Suzan and Deborah watch. Chris and Doug are CA-RAZY twins who wish they were the Weasleys. Yes, I know the Weasley twins came after them but I don't care shut up. Diana is the Princess of Purity who rescues Cassie from Faye and who has shiny blonde hair. That's about it for her. Diana has two disciples named Melanie and Laurel, who are both pretty boring. There's also someone named Sean who won't be important until later, and Nick...who also won't be important until later.

Cassie and Diana become BFF because of TEENAGERS. Cassie hopes that maybe she could become part of The Club but there's only one open spot, and Chris and Doug's kid sister, Kori, already has dibs. But GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE. Someone pushes Kori down some steps and she dies. So yay, now Cassie gets to be in The Club!

They kidnap her from her bedroom THE SAME NIGHT KORI DIES so they can initiate her into their Club. It involves candles and the beach and walking into a knife, sort of like the initiation scene in The Craft, NOT that I'm suggesting one of these things is ripping off the other, I just think that's how you get initiated into a witch coven. Obviously.

Whatever, so now Cassie is a witch (OK? Never mind, MAGIC) but that's not even important because guess who shows up? GUESS. The boy from the beach! Remember him? The one Cassie "saved" from her bitchy friend's brothers? Yeah. Cassie is super psyched but then she finds out that he's Diana's boyfriend, Adam, who she'd heard about earlier but I forgot to tell you about it because I don't care. Anyway. The point is now Cassie is in EMOTIONAL TURMOIL, where she will remain until the series is over because WITCH TEENAGERS.

Naturally, Cassie pretends not to know Adam, which is a LIE because they still have that mystical silver cord connecting their hearts (OMG BARF). Adam is all, "wtf but ok," because what does he care, he's got Diana. CASSIE IS ALL ALONE. Like The Hulk. 

Adam tells everyone he was in Cape Cod looking for the Master Tools but no one points out that Adam himself is a Master Tool. ZING. TEENAGERS! He found one of them, a crystal skull that used to belong to Black John. Black John was the coven leader back in the good old witch-burning days of Salem, and the other coven members hid the rest of the Master Tools from him when he turned all evil. I hate when that happens.

Faye and her cronies want to use the skull right away, even though it's obviously evil. I mean duh. It's a CRYSTAL SKULL. Diana, as the temporary leader of the coven (this will be important later, I guess), says NO, they have to purify it. So they decide to do that, only Faye is a total bitch about it LIKE ALWAYS. She complains so much for the next few days or weeks (I don't remember) that Diana gives in and they have a secret circle ceremony to study the skull.

Things don't go well and some "dark" energy escapes, which, going by my extensive research (Buffy reruns), is really bad. Adam walks Cassie home from the ceremony and you just know it's going to be A) bad news bears and B) totally awesome.

He asks her why she pretended not to know him and she is immediately all, "because I'm in love with you!" and he's like, "omg, me too!" but they don't talk about the mystical silver cord shared hallucination, even though it probably suggests brain damage of some kind. Instead they make out a lot on the beach even though they're outside and anyone would be able to see them and guess what? Anyone DID see them, if by anyone you mean Faye, which is pretty much the worst anyone to see you in the history of anyones if you're making out with your best friend's boyfriend after releasing dark energy from a 400 year old crystal skull. OOPSIES.

Faye blackmails Cassie, obviously, and this is where The Initiation ends. Join us next time when we discuss the next chapter in the trilogy...THE CAPTIVE.

Dun dun DUN.



    I especially liked the parts where you talked about barfing. Also the part where you sounded like Professor Farnsworth.

  2. What's weird is that the parts that made me want to barf were the parts that made me all swoony when I read it as a teenager. Ugh. Also, I didn't even mean to sound like Prof. Farnsworth, WHICH IS AWESOME.