Wednesday, October 28, 2009

things I've done since lunch:

  • taken cold medicine
  • blown my nose 80 bajillion times
  • made some tea
  • bought a greenhouse
  • planned my early escape
  • hoped that people sit in their seats at the Ben Folds show tonight so I don't have to stand (I know it's lazy BUT REALLY I just don't understand why people stand up at concerts when there are seats provided...someone died making those seats, you know, you should sit in them)
  • wondered if I could figure out a way to sleep and drive at the same time (Michael Scott does it)

BUT. Mostly I've been deleting work emails. And not just the ones asking me to do things, ZING! Anyway. Some company-wide email went out about a survey everyone can take to complain about how much they hate their jobs. The link to the survey doesn't work. And so I've gotten at least 50 emails that say something along the lines of, "my link doesn't work," and then 50 more emails telling everyone to stop hitting "reply to all," and THEY'RE STILL COMING IN AS I TYPE. There are something like 90,000 employees at my company so I'm pretty sure my Inbox is going to blow up soon. Here's hoping.

Monday, October 26, 2009

yada yada yada

The first time I tried to do NaNoWriMo, it was in November of 2004. Things were going really well. I was writing every day and I was totally keeping up with my wordcount. Then George W. Bush was re-elected. Then my grandpa died. Then I got bronchitis. Because of that triangle of suck, I pretty much lost my will to live, let alone write. Plus my story? Was about a girl in college and everyone thought she was going NUTSO but really she was just planning for a zombie revolution. Yeah. That blows. So I quit.

The second time I tried to do NaNoWriMo, I don't even remember what year it was, but I'm pretty sure I didn't even write a thousand words. I don't remember what the story was about. Once I got to a certain point of the month, I realized there was no catching up. So I quit.

I tried NaBloPoMo (aka NaBlowMe) a couple of times, and being required to post something every day made me want to quit the internet. So I quit that FOREVER because I didn't even win any prizes when I did it! Suck.

This year, I'm trying NaNoWriMo again. I'm totally cheating, but I'm trying it again. Heather Anne told me to write a book a while ago, and so I started one, and HERE'S THE KICKER -- I haven't quit it yet. I try to write more of it every day and, while I don't write much, the wordcount is getting up there. I'm going to use NaNoWriMo to force myself to finish it. Or at least get close to finishing it. We'll see how that goes. I wanted to keep it a secret, in case I felt like quitting again, but they say you're supposed to tell people so they can ask you how it's going and then make fun of you if you don't finish. So, Internets, I expect you to hold me accountable.

Anyway, my point is, I will probably be posting here less than I already am. Which is close to never, so...I guess what I'm saying is, see you in December. Except that's probably not true. See, before NaNoWriMo officially starts, I'm trying to cut down on distractions. I'm going to have to be strict with myself and not waste as much time on Facebook or watching Charlie Bit Me on Youtube over and over or, you know, blogging. But I'm not very good at being strict with myself so I'd imagine that blogging here will be one way I procrastinate from writing my story. So I guess what I'm REALLY saying is, see you on November 1st.

If you would like to be my writing buddy, you can find me on the NaNoWriMo official site. My username is Jennie. I KNOW, it's so creative!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

It's no secret that Joe and I are, for lack of a better term, giant nerds. We're so nerdy that our favorite game on Wii is Trivial Pursuit. Not Guitar Hero, not Raving (slightly racist (I will explain more in a bit)) Rabbids, not even flipping ROCK BAND. No. Trivial Pursuit. A game that we could play just as easily without the Wii, I guess, but then we might as well light candles instead of turning on a light and churn our own butter and GO LIVE IN CAVES LIKE ANIMALS.

But it's more fun on Wii because of TECHNOLOGY. TECHNOLOGY means flashy lights and fun noises and AVATARS. My Trivial Pursuit avatar is wearing a frog costume. Why? I don't know. Joe's avatar looks like David Bowie and he named it Jowie. You may bask in the awesomeness of that before I move on...

Moving on. I highly recommend this game, especially for nerds who find they have gathered quite a bit of useless trivia over the course of their lives. And it's multiple choice! That makes it so much better than the actual board game because you don't have to grab the answer out of thin air, OH NO, it's right there on the screen, you just have to choose it. NOT ONLY THAT but aside from Classic Trivial Pursuit, you can also play Movie Trivial Pursuit, which is total vindication for all the bits of useless movie trivia I have stacked in my brain. The other night, Joe was playing the SPEEDYQUICK movie version while I packed my lunch and he yelled, "Who played Josephine March in the 1994 version of Little Women?" and I was all, "Winona Ryder!" because that question was pretty much made for me and then I had to stop myself from explaining why Jo should have married Laurie instead of that stinky bear guy, but I stopped myself because Heather! Anne! can explain it better. Anyway, there are questions made for EVERYONE, you guys. Joe got some question about the Oracle and Batgirl that I didn't really understand and he answered it in less than .0000005 seconds. True story.

That's not to say the game is perfect. It's not. I'm worried about playing it too much because I think eventually we'll just have most of the questions and answers memorized. And that's no fun. Also, there is way too much geography knowledge required. NOT ONLY is there a whole geography category but sometimes it will ask some question like, "where is the blah blah blah music festival held," and then show four dots in France but none of them are labeled so even if I knew the festival was in Paris, I'd have no idea which DOT was Paris because geography? Not so much my strong suit. I get lost in my hometown AND NO I'M NOT EXAGGERATING.

Oh, I almost forgot to explain why Raving Rabbids is slightly racist. This is very important, obviously. In every version of the game, there is a part where you have to save a little frog thing from the Raving Rabbids. You shoot plungers at them when they come at you until you get to the end and save the frog thing. It is as ridiculous as it sounds. Anyway, I'm not sure what version it is, but in one of them, you're walking around, shooting Rabbids with plungers and BOOM there are some sleeping Rabbids WEARING SOMBREROS. There is another bit to the game where you have to do something and avoid waking the SLEEPING MEXICAN RABBID. Yeah. I think I remember that the game is made by French people. Do French people hate Mexicans? Oh wait, French people hate everyone...ZING! Anyway. I understand if this makes you not want to play the game, but other than the racism, it's super fun because you get to milk pigs and knock down buildings with the power of your burps and ride cows down snow-covered hills and as far as I know you can't really do any of that stuff in real life.

Friday, October 09, 2009

spoiler-free squeeing about Jim + Pam = 4eva!!!1!11!!1!!*

OMG YOU GUYS OMG OMG OMG. Sigh. OK. I am OMGing for two reasons. 1) THE OFFICE. I heart that show so hard. Last night's episode pretty much turned me into a crying, laughing, gooey mess, which can be...uncomfortable. It actually made me CRY INTO MY BEER, something I don't think I've ever done before on account of drinking beer is a happy occasion. That episode, the ending in particular, made me so happy, probably happier than a TV show should be able to make a person, but I don't care. Moving on. Thing 2) my work computer is trying to sabotage my every move. I spent most of this morning on the phone with IT trying to get the access right on this software they just gave me and did I mention it took all morning? Because it took all morning. So I got nothing done. And instead of working on stuff right now, I've decided to do something constructive and complain to the internets.

Anyway, I have to go now because I keep getting calls from people that THE WORLD IS ENDING except no, not really, and why would you call HR if the world was ending? We can't do anything without proper paperwork anyway. Leave me alone, employees.

OK. Keep your heads up, everyone. WORST. DAY. EVER. Week is almost over.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

week of Mondays

YOU GUYS. Just when I thought it was safe to go back to blogging, WORK ATE MY SOUL. And not in a good way, either. Although, it's not like there's a GOOD way to have your soul eaten. You totally need your soul, otherwise you can't love things or enjoy fine cooking. It's true. They're all totally connected, just like Connect Four. Yeah, whatever.

Yesterday, I came into work and could not get into Outlook, meaning that the millions upon millions of emails I get every day were going UNREAD and since I wasn't answering emails people were calling me and since I hate talking on the phone, I wanted to curl into the fetal position under my desk until everyone just left me all alone to cry in peace. That never happened, though. You'd think not having access to my email would mean I couldn't get any work done, but you'd be wrong. Next time, I hope my entire computer has the decency to stop working because then I'd have an excuse to be napping at my desk. I'M JUST KIDDING, UNIVERSE, PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY COMPUTER! Seriously. How would I farm if my computer breaks? You know, if you didn't know about the internet, that last sentence would be SO CONFUSING.

Anyway. This morning, my email STILL wasn't working, so I called the IT Helpdesk for the third time and was all, "wtf, mate?" and the guy was all, "um...I don't know," and I was all, "NO, SERIOUSLY, WTF, MATE?" and he said it was a local problem and then I started yelling about how my ACTUAL DESK was more helpful than the IT Helpdesk and I think he quietly hung up on me while I was screeching at him but I don't care because I felt better afterward. I managed to nab a local IT person as she was walking by and she fixed it in like thirty seconds. I could try to explain to you why I have to call and speak to someone at the IT Helpdesk who is usually not even in the same timezone as me INSTEAD of just going directly to local IT, but I like you guys and I don't want your heads to explode.

At some point, in the midst of my email turmoil, I found out that our benefits person had to have an emergency appendectomy last night and will be out for, oh, who knows how long and did I mention that Open Enrollment is next week? Because Open Enrollment is next week. I hate Open Enrollment, you guys. Our benefits are all outsourced now, which you'd think would make things easier, but no one actually READS the benefits information they're given so instead of calling the ever-so-helpful 1-800 number or going to the informational website, they call and ask us what plan they should enroll in and GUESS WHAT we can't tell you what plan to enroll in, LEARN TO READ, A-HOLE. But I can't yell those things at employees because we're supposed to hold their hands and be helpful but I DON'T WANT TO because if I have to do any more fake smiling, I think my face is going to crack in half and I NEED MY FACE, YOU GUYS.

I keep thinking it's Friday but it's not, you know? It's totally Thursday, which is not Friday but I want it to be Friday why can't it be Friday? Because if today was Friday, I could go to Joe's soon and play with his Wii (hahahahaha, that will never get old) and then the next day would be Saturday which means SLEEPING IN. But no, it's not Friday, and I have two more hours of not-Friday before I can go home and put my pajamas on and finish the book I've been trying to finish ALL WEEK but this week of Mondays wouldn't let me.

I swear, if Pam and Jim weren't getting married tonight, this whole week would have been a complete waste.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Did you miss me? No? Not even a little? Can you at least lie?

Oh, hiiiiiii, Internet. I just realized I haven't posted, and I mean really posted, in like...weeks. I have no good excuse, except that my talks-a-lot coworker transferred to another department and AS IF that weren't enough of a prize, I also got to take over all of her projects. I'm so lucky. She really wasn't doing much (hence the transfer), but it was enough. Once I added it to all my other duties (heh, duties), it made for very busy days.

Volunteering started again last month, and while it's only every other Tuesday, it sure seems like it takes up more time than that. Mostly, I think, because kids in my age group are actually showing up this year, which means I have to plan activities. Sometimes this is easy, sometimes not so much. Also! Each and every Tuesday that I have volunteering, I worry my way up 75, wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' that traffic will be OK and no one will decide to crash in front of me because that's why they do it, you know. So my plans get effed up.

The past couple weekends have been pretty busy with a variety of obligations, although I hesitate to call them obligations because it's all been fun stuff, but it's been time-consuming stuff. For someone who'd rather sit at home in her pajamas with a full season of Veronica Mars and a book to keep her company than have actual human interaction, this can be a tad exhausting. Heh. It's not that I'm anti-social, I just need quiet time sometimes.

Anyway, as far as I know, this week is not supposed to be as busy as past weeks and I'm not promising to blog every day or anything (you're welcome) but I think I can manage to start blogging more than once every two weeks. Once a week, maybe. I don't know if I can do more. I mean, I'm already exhausted PLUS, I'm a farmer now.

One thing I definitely need to do this week is start running again. Or working out in some way. Walking from the sofa to the kitchen OBVIOUSLY doesn't count and OBVIOUSLY doesn't so much work on the "Let's Be Healthy!" front. My steady diet of pizza, fast food, and candy, however, are totally working on the "Jennie doesn't fit into her pants anymore," front. Last night we went to The Melting Pot for Joe's dad's birthday and I'm pretty sure I almost exploded my stomach with melty cheesy goodness. So yes. More running is called for, I think, even though every piece of me HATES IT HATES IT HATES IT. I have no excuse tonight, though. I'm marinating some chicken for a quick and easy dinner. The weather is mild and sunny. My running clothes are sitting in a neat pile on my dresser. And my iPod? Fully charged. Quick, somebody help me think of an excuse. Something good. It might involve zombies, who knows?

On second thought, if the Zombie Apocalypse should happen soon (and let's face it, it's GOING TO HAPPEN), I'd better be able to run more than a mile without wanting to die, especially if we're being attacked by some of those speedy quick zombies.