Thursday, January 05, 2012

I hope I never win the lottery, THANKS A LOT ALANIS

I recently said these words out loud and I was not exaggerating or being ironic or anything but especially I wasn't being ironic because I grew up listening to Alanis Morissette and so I'll never know what ironic means. ANYWAY here is what I said: "My routine is broken...I'll have to start over." Joe was immediately all, "OK, Abed," which...whatever, TRUE.

I took this assessment at work a while ago called the Kolbe (you can take it, too, if you have $50 lying around that you'd rather spend on a test and not on booze or videogames or whatever it is you kids do nowadays) and it told me a lot of stuff I already know SUCH AS:
  • I like to make lists and spreadsheets
  • I'm super organized but also procrastinate like hell
  • I like to plan things
  • I like to come up with ideas and new projects but not follow through on them or do any of the work myself (uh-DUH, please see all of my deserted blog projects for evidence)
It wasn't all that enlightening but I do enjoy taking these kinds of tests. I've taken the Myers-Briggs like 25 times over the course of the years and I always get the same thing: INTJ. Here. I'll prove it. I'll take it right now. 

Nah, I didn't really take it. I thought about it, though. And then I watched Paul Rudd dancing gifs instead. It was way better. See?


In other news, last night I had a dream that Jeff Winger got mad at me because, while strolling around Greendale, I told him that I thought Timothy Olyphant was handsomer than him. Because my brain is a place where Jeff Winger The Fictional Character coexists with Timothy Olyphant The Actual Person and is jealous of him. Anyway, Jeff Winger spent the rest of the day alternating between making sad, puppy dog eyes at me and then glaring at me and shouting, "HE IS NOT HANDSOMER." I'm pretty proud of my brain for knowing that that's exactly how Jeff Winger would react. Also, apparently my brain is so sad about the Community hiatus that it's making up its own episodes of Community when I fall asleep and YOU GUYS I'M TOTALLY OK WITH THAT. My brain could be dreaming about anything. Killer pandas. Penguins who can talk. ROBERT DOWNEY JR. The other night I flew around Hogwarts. Not on a broom, but like Peter Pan, only I didn't need magic or fairy dust, which is a shame because if I was going to look for magic and fairy dust, I'd head straight to Hogwarts first. But no, my brain takes me to Greendale way more often than Hogwarts, which means that my brain thinks that Greendale is more magic than A SCHOOL FOR WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY. Well played, brain. Well played.


  1. That gif is hypnotic. Also, your dreams sound way better than my dreams.

  2. INTJ FTW!
    And I demand an episode of Community where Timothy Olyphant guest stars. MAKE IT SO.

  3. Joe, you should start dreaming about Paul Rudd dancing.

    Gretchen, YES. I mean, he was on The Office, right? So he could totally be on Community. Same network BFF time!

  4. What does the T stand for in INTJ? I always forget.

    I'm INFJ. It is the rarest and most special of all the types. I also forget what the F stands for.

  5. Oh, yeah. FEELING. Duh, Ashley. As if that wasn't completely obvious.

  6. Thinking/Feeling?

    I think the INTJ results say we're totally rare, too. What if all the results say that so we all feel really special?

  7. When I got to "ROBERT DOWNEY JR" I almost spat out peanut butter toast in laughter. I love your Community dreams.

    I tested as INFJ when I was little but last tested as ENFP, which is a little suspect on the I vs. E front, I think. And I too remember the results saying that INFJs are rare.

  8. Mmm, peanut butter toast.

    I don't think I've taken the test in a couple of years but I can't see myself ever being E. I forever!

  9. I think I would like to live inside your brain. Especially on the nights Timothy Olyphant and Jeff Winger are both there.

  10. I am also INTJ, which is probably why I find you truly insightful and hilarious. WE TOTALLY HAVE THE SAME BRAIN. Speaking of brain, one of my coworkers once stated that being inside my brain would be like a cross between a really intellectual museum and a psychedelic amusement park. I don't think anyone would really enjoy a visit. How many times has it happened that for no particular reason, my brain suddenly flashes to "Springtime for Hitler", and then just as suddenly I've come up with an idea for a Broadway musical based around Plato's cave analogy, featuring mustachioed tap-dancing penguins, and one big production number would have the penguins tapping to a rhythm based around prime numbers, and THEN my consciousness drops back into my body and I look up and realize that several coworkers are staring at me because I've been snickering to myself in a staff meeting?

  11. Kerri Anne, it's pretty fun. If I dream of them again, I hope they either fight or make out.

    Kiti, I would watch that musical.

  12. INTJs and INFJs really are the most rare. The chart on the right confirms just how special we are, which is the kind of validation that I need in my life.

  13. I knew we were all special squirrels!