I want you to feel like you're gonna die

Those words are spoken by Jillian Michaels on Level 2 of her 30 Day Shred DVD and OH MY GOD, Jillian, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I think you're supposed to do the video for 30 days straight, but at the pace I'm going, I'll have finished the 30 days in about six months. It's not my fault, though. Stuff keeps happening, like Rockville or the hospital or pizza and cookies, and then the video fucked up my knee so I had to stop for a while. I don't know why I decided to move to Level 2. I still want to die sometimes after Level 1, probably because I skip working out for weeks at a time, so every time I do it (heh, do it) it's essentially like I'm starting all over again.

This is what I did this morning, before guilting myself into the workout:

• drank a shitload of coffee
• watched Chuck vs. Tom Sawyer
• read some Internets
• decided to maybe go running
• checked Weather.com, saw it was only 26 degrees, decided not to go running
  
• played Guitar Hero
• thought, "I should work out...maybe I should eat one of those protein bars Heidi said are in the cupboard."
• couldn't find protein bars
• read some more Internets
• worked out
• died

I'm typing this from beyond the grave. Ooooooooooooooooooo!! I hope my family doesn't mind my zombiefication later at the Christmas celebration, but there will be lots of food and presents so I don't think they'll care much, unless I try to eat someone's brain.