Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.

Everyone knows Milton (from Office Space, duh) is delightfully wacky. Or, you know, certifiably insane. He's a bit obsessed with his stapler (wacky!) but, um, burns down his place of employment (insane).

But is it insane? No one blames him for burning the place down, right? I think, if placed in a similar situation, many of us would be tempted to do the same thing.

It's because of Milton that I'm a bit worried about my career trajectory. You see, earlier I received some paperwork that I needed to attach to some other paperwork, because attaching paperwork to other paperwork is one of my main job duties. But then, lo and behold (lo! behold!), MY STAPLER WAS NOT TO BE FOUND.

WTF, I thought, NO SERIOUSLY, WTF. I don't ask for a lot at work. I have a modest work space and my computer works (most of the time), although currently the privacy screen is being held on by a precarious system of scotch tape, hope, and crossed fingers. I put up with all of my co-workers, including the woman who thinks I'm her therapist and the guy who I once overheard saying, "I pretend Obama isn't president," AND who shouts, "HOO-rah," every time someone mentions the Marines. I put up with them all and I do it with a smile. So the LEAST these people can do is leave me my stapler.

I hope someone brings it back. Or gives me a new one. I fear I'm but a few short steps from setting something on fire. If they move my office to the basement, I quit.


  1. Please don't burn down your place of business, I don't want to have to visit you in jail.

  2. this blog is boring.

  3. Ashley, you'd break me out of jail, though, right?

    Tam, YOUR blog is boring!

  4. No. Yours. and I win because I still have a stapler on my desk.

  5. Jeez, I am trying to figure out which is worse, your coworkers or your "friends" comments.....its a close race!

  6. Please see The Collective comments for the "your blog is boring" explanation.

  7. There is no crime worse than stapler thievery.

  8. Fraulein N2:38 PM

    I've never had desk supplies stolen, but I always hide my three-hole punch because if I don't it's all fucked up when I come back. It makes me all RAGEY and nobody wants that.