It's no secret that Joe and I are, for lack of a better term, giant nerds. We're so nerdy that our favorite game on Wii is Trivial Pursuit. Not Guitar Hero, not Raving (slightly racist (I will explain more in a bit)) Rabbids, not even flipping ROCK BAND. No. Trivial Pursuit. A game that we could play just as easily without the Wii, I guess, but then we might as well light candles instead of turning on a light and churn our own butter and GO LIVE IN CAVES LIKE ANIMALS.
But it's more fun on Wii because of TECHNOLOGY. TECHNOLOGY means flashy lights and fun noises and AVATARS. My Trivial Pursuit avatar is wearing a frog costume. Why? I don't know. Joe's avatar looks like David Bowie and he named it Jowie. You may bask in the awesomeness of that before I move on...
Moving on. I highly recommend this game, especially for nerds who find they have gathered quite a bit of useless trivia over the course of their lives. And it's multiple choice! That makes it so much better than the actual board game because you don't have to grab the answer out of thin air, OH NO, it's right there on the screen, you just have to choose it. NOT ONLY THAT but aside from Classic Trivial Pursuit, you can also play Movie Trivial Pursuit, which is total vindication for all the bits of useless movie trivia I have stacked in my brain. The other night, Joe was playing the SPEEDYQUICK movie version while I packed my lunch and he yelled, "Who played Josephine March in the 1994 version of Little Women?" and I was all, "Winona Ryder!" because that question was pretty much made for me and then I had to stop myself from explaining why Jo should have married Laurie instead of that stinky bear guy, but I stopped myself because Heather! Anne! can explain it better. Anyway, there are questions made for EVERYONE, you guys. Joe got some question about the Oracle and Batgirl that I didn't really understand and he answered it in less than .0000005 seconds. True story.
That's not to say the game is perfect. It's not. I'm worried about playing it too much because I think eventually we'll just have most of the questions and answers memorized. And that's no fun. Also, there is way too much geography knowledge required. NOT ONLY is there a whole geography category but sometimes it will ask some question like, "where is the blah blah blah music festival held," and then show four dots in France but none of them are labeled so even if I knew the festival was in Paris, I'd have no idea which DOT was Paris because geography? Not so much my strong suit. I get lost in my hometown AND NO I'M NOT EXAGGERATING.
Oh, I almost forgot to explain why Raving Rabbids is slightly racist. This is very important, obviously. In every version of the game, there is a part where you have to save a little frog thing from the Raving Rabbids. You shoot plungers at them when they come at you until you get to the end and save the frog thing. It is as ridiculous as it sounds. Anyway, I'm not sure what version it is, but in one of them, you're walking around, shooting Rabbids with plungers and BOOM there are some sleeping Rabbids WEARING SOMBREROS. There is another bit to the game where you have to do something and avoid waking the SLEEPING MEXICAN RABBID. Yeah. I think I remember that the game is made by French people. Do French people hate Mexicans? Oh wait, French people hate everyone...ZING! Anyway. I understand if this makes you not want to play the game, but other than the racism, it's super fun because you get to milk pigs and knock down buildings with the power of your burps and ride cows down snow-covered hills and as far as I know you can't really do any of that stuff in real life.
Showing posts with label wii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wii. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
somebody needs some hot chocolate (psst, it's me)
Wii Fit yelled at me again yesterday. A couple of times. First it was all, "what, you didn't have time to work out yesterday?" Fuck you, Wii Fit! I got up BEFORE WORK and let Jillian Michaels try and kill me! Suck it!
Ahem. I only got on Wii Fit to see how much I weighed, because when Heidi, Joe, and I played the other night, I didn't want them to know my weight (which . . . who cares?), so I hid it! I hid it forever! So I weighed myself again and it turned out I'd lost a pound. Here's the thing, losing that one pound moved me from "overweight" to "normal." Awesome. However, the other day when Wii Fit told me I had to make a goal, I said I'd lose a pound in two weeks, because I like to set my goals HIGH. Wii Fit, apparently, does not seem to realize that this was a ridiculous goal, so it told me to be careful and not push myself too hard because I'd already reached my goal after just TWO DAYS. Wii Fit is kind of stupid. Maybe that's why it's so mean. It's all, "I may be dumb, but at least I'm not fat, FATTY." Anyway, good news, everyone! On Sunday, Wii Fit told me I was 36 (yeah) but yesterday I was 20. I caught Benjamin Button disease and it's awesome.
Have you noticed it's really cold? Here anyway. It's like negative a billion degrees which is COLD for those of you who live in places that are not Ohio. Or other cold places. Like, there are people in our Florida office that call me sometimes and they're all, "it's SOOOOOOOO cold here," and I'm like, "yeah?" and they're like, "OMG it's only 50 right now," and then I yell at them to DIE DIE DIE and I smash my phone into a million pieces. Then I have to call IT to replace my phone and they're like, "Jennie, this is your fourth phone this week, what is going on?" and all I can tell them is that maybe they should have my phone block Florida numbers. True story.
Ahem. I only got on Wii Fit to see how much I weighed, because when Heidi, Joe, and I played the other night, I didn't want them to know my weight (which . . . who cares?), so I hid it! I hid it forever! So I weighed myself again and it turned out I'd lost a pound. Here's the thing, losing that one pound moved me from "overweight" to "normal." Awesome. However, the other day when Wii Fit told me I had to make a goal, I said I'd lose a pound in two weeks, because I like to set my goals HIGH. Wii Fit, apparently, does not seem to realize that this was a ridiculous goal, so it told me to be careful and not push myself too hard because I'd already reached my goal after just TWO DAYS. Wii Fit is kind of stupid. Maybe that's why it's so mean. It's all, "I may be dumb, but at least I'm not fat, FATTY." Anyway, good news, everyone! On Sunday, Wii Fit told me I was 36 (yeah) but yesterday I was 20. I caught Benjamin Button disease and it's awesome.
Have you noticed it's really cold? Here anyway. It's like negative a billion degrees which is COLD for those of you who live in places that are not Ohio. Or other cold places. Like, there are people in our Florida office that call me sometimes and they're all, "it's SOOOOOOOO cold here," and I'm like, "yeah?" and they're like, "OMG it's only 50 right now," and then I yell at them to DIE DIE DIE and I smash my phone into a million pieces. Then I have to call IT to replace my phone and they're like, "Jennie, this is your fourth phone this week, what is going on?" and all I can tell them is that maybe they should have my phone block Florida numbers. True story.
Monday, January 12, 2009
and then I fell over
Oh, right, I have a blog. Hi, blog! Sorry I've been neglecting you. The thing is, I don't have time to blog at work and when I say blog at work, of course I mean during my lunch break and not when I'm supposed to be doing actual work. Because I've been spending my lunch break WORKING. Not today, though. Today I spent the first half of my lunch break going to Kroger to get wine and baking sheets (not to use together, though) and now I'm ignoring my phone and email, listening to the Dr. Horrible soundtrack, and BLOGGING. Heh, at first I wrote this: BLOGGIN. Which I think I like better. Anyway.
Heidi got a Wii Fit for Christmas, and last night we hooked it up. Well. Heidi hooked it up. I sat there and watched. To be fair, though, hooking it up meant putting in some batteries and pushing some buttons on the Wii, so I really think I'd have just been in the way if I had tried to help.
The Wii Fit started out by grunting in pain when I stepped on the board. That was nice. And then! It told me I was overweight. Ouch, Wii. That hurts. I mean, it wasn't exactly breaking news or anything, but hearing that I did, in fact, eat too many Christmas cookies and drink too much egg nog (fact: I did not drink any egg nog because . . . gross) was the opposite of fun. I watched Heidi do a balance test and dodge some soccer balls, cleats, and panda heads (what?) and then it was my turn.
Well. I did the balance test and the Wii Fit was all, "WTF? Are you 80? Do you find yourself tripping over stuff a lot?" OK, it really didn't say all that EXCEPT for that last thing BECAUSE IT TOTALLY DID ASK IF I TRIP OVER STUFF. This is when Heidi and Joe almost died laughing FOR REALSIES because the Wii knew how clumsy I am after just one test.
Then. I tried to slalom and it went about as well as it does when I try to for-real ski. I ran into more flags than anything else. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't fall off the board (although, I did when I tried the step aerobics) and when I finished slaloming (is that a word?), the Wii Fit told me I was unbalanced. Which, duh.
I redeemed myself a bit during the hula hooping, I think. I made it all the way through and spun the shit out of some hula hoops. Sure, a couple hula hoops hit me in the head, but you know . . . baby steps. Anyway, here is something brand new. Conversations Between My Roommate and My Boyfriend:
Heidi and Joe: HAHAHAHAHA JENNIE IS UNBALANCED AND LOOKS FUNNY WHEN SHE HULA HOOPS!
Joe: My favorite part was when the hula hoop hit her in the head.
Heidi: Me too!
Joe: Because I feel like . . . if someone threw a hula hoop at her in real life, that's what would happen.
Heidi: Definitely. I also liked her granny-hula-hooping hand gestures.
Me: Thanks, guys.
Can you feel the love? I can. It's cold and hurty.
Heidi got a Wii Fit for Christmas, and last night we hooked it up. Well. Heidi hooked it up. I sat there and watched. To be fair, though, hooking it up meant putting in some batteries and pushing some buttons on the Wii, so I really think I'd have just been in the way if I had tried to help.
The Wii Fit started out by grunting in pain when I stepped on the board. That was nice. And then! It told me I was overweight. Ouch, Wii. That hurts. I mean, it wasn't exactly breaking news or anything, but hearing that I did, in fact, eat too many Christmas cookies and drink too much egg nog (fact: I did not drink any egg nog because . . . gross) was the opposite of fun. I watched Heidi do a balance test and dodge some soccer balls, cleats, and panda heads (what?) and then it was my turn.
Well. I did the balance test and the Wii Fit was all, "WTF? Are you 80? Do you find yourself tripping over stuff a lot?" OK, it really didn't say all that EXCEPT for that last thing BECAUSE IT TOTALLY DID ASK IF I TRIP OVER STUFF. This is when Heidi and Joe almost died laughing FOR REALSIES because the Wii knew how clumsy I am after just one test.
Then. I tried to slalom and it went about as well as it does when I try to for-real ski. I ran into more flags than anything else. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't fall off the board (although, I did when I tried the step aerobics) and when I finished slaloming (is that a word?), the Wii Fit told me I was unbalanced. Which, duh.
I redeemed myself a bit during the hula hooping, I think. I made it all the way through and spun the shit out of some hula hoops. Sure, a couple hula hoops hit me in the head, but you know . . . baby steps. Anyway, here is something brand new. Conversations Between My Roommate and My Boyfriend:
Heidi and Joe: HAHAHAHAHA JENNIE IS UNBALANCED AND LOOKS FUNNY WHEN SHE HULA HOOPS!
Joe: My favorite part was when the hula hoop hit her in the head.
Heidi: Me too!
Joe: Because I feel like . . . if someone threw a hula hoop at her in real life, that's what would happen.
Heidi: Definitely. I also liked her granny-hula-hooping hand gestures.
Me: Thanks, guys.
Can you feel the love? I can. It's cold and hurty.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Guitar Hero: World Tour vs. Rock Band
I briefly discussed my feelings about Rock Band vs. World Tour the other day, but Shari is asking me to make a decision (dammit!) because she is tasked with choosing one AND ONLY ONE to buy for her kids for Christmas. This is difficult, because, well, I've only played World Tour once. But I'll do my best. Keep in mind, I am not an expert, I just really enjoy pretending I'm in a rock band. And I did some research, both HANDS ON and also with the whole reading thing.
First, let's discuss the track lists.
Rock Band: These plus five others, "Roxanne" by The Police, "Roam" by the B-52s, "Dirty Little Secret" by the All-American Rejects, "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis, and "Rockaway Beach" by The Ramones. Plus, you can buy this disc of extras.
World Tour: These.
Songs from Rock Band I Couldn't Live Without: Don't Look Back in Anger, Don't Fear the Reaper, Wanted Dead or Alive, Orange Crush, Say it Ain't So, Creep, Here it Goes Again, Dani California
Songs from World Tour I Couldn't Live Without: No Sleep Til Brooklyn, Livin' on a Prayer, One Way or Another, Hotel California, The Wind Cries Mary, Beat It, Float On, The Joker, Eye of the Tiger
Advantage: TIE
Now, let's talk about instruments.
Rock Band: When you buy Rock Band, you get a set of drums (plus drumsticks, obviously), a guitar, and a microphone. Here's the kicker. If you already have a guitar, say, for regular old Guitar Hero, it doesn't work with Rock Band which is a total fucking ripoff. I have strong feelings about this. I realize they are two separate game systems and are in competition with one another, but if that's the case then Rock Band should come with two guitars. Or a guitar and a bass, if you will. Because, you see, Rock Band costs $180 or so. Anyway. The drum kit has four different colored pads, as well as a pedal. I'm not sure what the pads are made of, but they are really loud when you hit them. I suppose you don't NEED to hit them as hard as I do, but I feel like the true drumming experience calls for enthusiastic drumming, yes? Yes. You can buy drum silencers, but you just spent a billion dollars on this game, do you really want to spend more?
World Tour: The World Tour kit comes with a set of drums, a guitar, and a microphone, just like Rock Band, BUT if you already have a guitar for Guitar Hero, it works for World Tour as well. However, hopefully you have enough Wiimotes for all the instruments. You'll need one for the drums, one for the microphone, and one for each guitar. So plan ahead. I'd say it's kind of a bummer to have to buy extra Wiimotes, but if you have a lot of people playing any game on the Wii, it's nice to have extras Wiimotes and nunchucks. Also! The drums are much quieter when you hit them, plus there are cymbals.
Advantage: World Tour
Both games are fairly easy to play, with varying degrees of difficulty. You can play on Easy, Medium, Hard, or Expert on Rock Band. I believe it's the same on World Tour, except they have a Beginner function that's even easier than Easy. Which is pretty damn easy, I have to say.
Advantage: World Tour
The overall experience is really the important thing, but that's where I have a bit of trouble because I've only played World Tour once.
Rock Band: Basically, you create a rock band (duh), name it, and go on tour. Songs are split into groups of four (I think) and you have to beat three out of four to move onto the next group. Also, there are bonus songs. I've never played until you get to the very end, but I'm assuming you get showered with money and naked ladies or something. You can play the game with just the drums, singer, and guitar, but it's really more fun with guitar and bass because more people can play. This means, of course, buying that extra guitar.
World Tour: Same as Rock Band, really, only you play gigs. Each gig has two songs. With both Rock Band and World Tour, once you open up the songs, you can play them whenever you want. Again, the nice thing about World Tour is you don't have to worry about buying an extra guitar (if you already have one for Guitar Hero), so more people can play and it's win-win-win all around. Plus, the drums are way better.
Advantage: World Tour
VERDICT: It looks like World Tour is the winner, based on the above. After we played World Tour on Friday, I was still partial to Rock Band, but the more I think about it and the more I look into it, it seems like World Tour is the way to go. If someone gave me $200 bucks and I had to buy one or the other RIGHT NOW, I'd buy World Tour. At least until they come out with a new and improved version of Rock Band. Really, it's just a matter of preference. Both are excellent games that will give you hours and hours of fun times (or keep your kids occupied for hours and hours, leaving you alone to have your own hours and hours of fun times).
First, let's discuss the track lists.
Rock Band: These plus five others, "Roxanne" by The Police, "Roam" by the B-52s, "Dirty Little Secret" by the All-American Rejects, "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis, and "Rockaway Beach" by The Ramones. Plus, you can buy this disc of extras.
World Tour: These.
Songs from Rock Band I Couldn't Live Without: Don't Look Back in Anger, Don't Fear the Reaper, Wanted Dead or Alive, Orange Crush, Say it Ain't So, Creep, Here it Goes Again, Dani California
Songs from World Tour I Couldn't Live Without: No Sleep Til Brooklyn, Livin' on a Prayer, One Way or Another, Hotel California, The Wind Cries Mary, Beat It, Float On, The Joker, Eye of the Tiger
Advantage: TIE
Now, let's talk about instruments.
Rock Band: When you buy Rock Band, you get a set of drums (plus drumsticks, obviously), a guitar, and a microphone. Here's the kicker. If you already have a guitar, say, for regular old Guitar Hero, it doesn't work with Rock Band which is a total fucking ripoff. I have strong feelings about this. I realize they are two separate game systems and are in competition with one another, but if that's the case then Rock Band should come with two guitars. Or a guitar and a bass, if you will. Because, you see, Rock Band costs $180 or so. Anyway. The drum kit has four different colored pads, as well as a pedal. I'm not sure what the pads are made of, but they are really loud when you hit them. I suppose you don't NEED to hit them as hard as I do, but I feel like the true drumming experience calls for enthusiastic drumming, yes? Yes. You can buy drum silencers, but you just spent a billion dollars on this game, do you really want to spend more?
World Tour: The World Tour kit comes with a set of drums, a guitar, and a microphone, just like Rock Band, BUT if you already have a guitar for Guitar Hero, it works for World Tour as well. However, hopefully you have enough Wiimotes for all the instruments. You'll need one for the drums, one for the microphone, and one for each guitar. So plan ahead. I'd say it's kind of a bummer to have to buy extra Wiimotes, but if you have a lot of people playing any game on the Wii, it's nice to have extras Wiimotes and nunchucks. Also! The drums are much quieter when you hit them, plus there are cymbals.
Advantage: World Tour
Both games are fairly easy to play, with varying degrees of difficulty. You can play on Easy, Medium, Hard, or Expert on Rock Band. I believe it's the same on World Tour, except they have a Beginner function that's even easier than Easy. Which is pretty damn easy, I have to say.
Advantage: World Tour
The overall experience is really the important thing, but that's where I have a bit of trouble because I've only played World Tour once.
Rock Band: Basically, you create a rock band (duh), name it, and go on tour. Songs are split into groups of four (I think) and you have to beat three out of four to move onto the next group. Also, there are bonus songs. I've never played until you get to the very end, but I'm assuming you get showered with money and naked ladies or something. You can play the game with just the drums, singer, and guitar, but it's really more fun with guitar and bass because more people can play. This means, of course, buying that extra guitar.
World Tour: Same as Rock Band, really, only you play gigs. Each gig has two songs. With both Rock Band and World Tour, once you open up the songs, you can play them whenever you want. Again, the nice thing about World Tour is you don't have to worry about buying an extra guitar (if you already have one for Guitar Hero), so more people can play and it's win-win-win all around. Plus, the drums are way better.
Advantage: World Tour
VERDICT: It looks like World Tour is the winner, based on the above. After we played World Tour on Friday, I was still partial to Rock Band, but the more I think about it and the more I look into it, it seems like World Tour is the way to go. If someone gave me $200 bucks and I had to buy one or the other RIGHT NOW, I'd buy World Tour. At least until they come out with a new and improved version of Rock Band. Really, it's just a matter of preference. Both are excellent games that will give you hours and hours of fun times (or keep your kids occupied for hours and hours, leaving you alone to have your own hours and hours of fun times).
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada
Last night, Whitney was in town which was GOOD because she lives in Chicago and we don't get to see her often enough. But she had to go back this morning to go to a bowling party for a four-year-old which is BAD on soooo many levels.
We spent our time wisely, though, drinking wine and eating Penn Station, for you see, there are no Penn Stations in Chicago so that is Whitney's food of choice whenever she's in town. This is obviously fine with me, as the young men at the Penn Station by our apartment know Heidi and I by name.
And then, of course, there was Wii. We began with Rock Band but Nancy soon wanted to open her newly purchased Guitar Hero: World Tour. We played that for a while, and I'm still not sure which I prefer: Rock Band or World Tour. The drums on World Tour are FAR, FAR superior and the songs are very good. I almost lost my voice belting out "Livin' on a Prayer" and was the only one who knew "Some Might Say," although there were technical difficulties when I tried to sing "One Way Or Another" (the microphone was plugged into the wrong hole HAHATHAT'SWHATSHESAID).
But. While the instruments on World Tour are better (the guitar has a slide thingie and I don't know how to use it or anything, but I'd imagine it'd be fun for more experienced users), I prefer the layout of the actual Rock Band game. I think I'd recommend waiting for the next wave of World Tour, whenever that may be, before buying the first version. I'm sure they'll be making improvements.
Plus, Nancy has this WHOLE OTHER Rock Band song list that included "More Than a Feeling" and "All the Small Things." Hello, that's awesome.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a commercial for Wii, but I can't help it. Sorry, but deal with it. It's Saturday, what do you want from me? I managed to do a load of laundry so far today PLUS ALSO enroll in my benefits for next year. This is good, because we're running a report at work on Monday to see what lazy employees haven't enrolled yet, and I'd hate to be the only slacker HR lackey on there. Close call.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make a grilled cheese sandwich and then maybe JUST MAYBE play some Guitar Hero. Good day to you, Internets.
I SAID GOOD DAY.
We spent our time wisely, though, drinking wine and eating Penn Station, for you see, there are no Penn Stations in Chicago so that is Whitney's food of choice whenever she's in town. This is obviously fine with me, as the young men at the Penn Station by our apartment know Heidi and I by name.
And then, of course, there was Wii. We began with Rock Band but Nancy soon wanted to open her newly purchased Guitar Hero: World Tour. We played that for a while, and I'm still not sure which I prefer: Rock Band or World Tour. The drums on World Tour are FAR, FAR superior and the songs are very good. I almost lost my voice belting out "Livin' on a Prayer" and was the only one who knew "Some Might Say," although there were technical difficulties when I tried to sing "One Way Or Another" (the microphone was plugged into the wrong hole HAHATHAT'SWHATSHESAID).
But. While the instruments on World Tour are better (the guitar has a slide thingie and I don't know how to use it or anything, but I'd imagine it'd be fun for more experienced users), I prefer the layout of the actual Rock Band game. I think I'd recommend waiting for the next wave of World Tour, whenever that may be, before buying the first version. I'm sure they'll be making improvements.
Plus, Nancy has this WHOLE OTHER Rock Band song list that included "More Than a Feeling" and "All the Small Things." Hello, that's awesome.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a commercial for Wii, but I can't help it. Sorry, but deal with it. It's Saturday, what do you want from me? I managed to do a load of laundry so far today PLUS ALSO enroll in my benefits for next year. This is good, because we're running a report at work on Monday to see what lazy employees haven't enrolled yet, and I'd hate to be the only slacker HR lackey on there. Close call.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make a grilled cheese sandwich and then maybe JUST MAYBE play some Guitar Hero. Good day to you, Internets.
I SAID GOOD DAY.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
F-O-X
The greatest thing ever happened to me last night. EVER. It was amazing. After $1 burgers and $2 drafts at Bar Louie last night, Nancy dropped a bombshell. I don't remember what we were talking about, but at some point she nonchalanted, "oh, I bought Rock Band."
We were all HOLD THE PHONE (what?). Nancy bought Rock Band? Nancy bought Rock Band. For Wii. Unfortunately, it was still in the box, but once we got to Nancy's, we made quick work of that. The drums are white for Wii Rock Band, unlike the black drums for XBox (is it XBox?) because Wii is racist. Trust me. Just play Rayman and keep your eye out for all the sleeping Mexicans. I wish I was kidding BUT I'M NOT.
Aaaaaaanyway, once the game was set up and I'd put the game disc in the right way (harder than it sounds), the band tour started, with Heidi on bass. At which point this happened, and made me the happiest girl in all the land:
Heidi: It's not working . . . seriously, why isn't it showing that I hit the right color?
Me: Is the guitar on?
Heidi: Yeah!
Me: I dunno then.
Heidi: IT'S NOT WORKING. WHAT THE HELL? ARRRRRRG!
Nancy: That's weird.
Heidi: I'm hitting the right color, WHY ISN'T IT SHOWING THAT I HIT IT?
Nancy: Um, are you strumming?
Heidi: . . . no?
All: BWAAHAAHAAHAAAA!
Seriously, you guys, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard EVER EVER IN MY LIFE. Ahem. I love you, Heidi.
This morning, when I left for work, I looked in the little patch of grass next to our steps and noticed something odd. Two 40s hanging out together, because apparently I'm back at Wittenberg. I think some college kids moved into the apartment next to us. This annoys me. Now that I'm not longer in college, I find most college students and the activities they participate in to be extremely annoying. I'm all, "you kids get off my lawn!" You know. Stuff like that. It's not that I no longer like to go out and act all crazy (see: Thanksgiving Miracle, Philadelphia, St. Patrick's Day, every trip to Chicago ever, tonight's bachelorette party (probably)), it's just that the times I do go out act like a booze-soaked psychopath are few and far between. Not because I don't like to drink anymore (heh), but because I'd rather sit at home in my pajamas and drink while watching a movie or playing Wii or whatever. I'm simple. I don't like wearing real pants, what can I say?
I don't know where I was going with that. Let's move on, shall we?
I went running the other night for the first time in like a week, because I SUCK, and as I was running, I noticed a little girl tottering down the driveway a few houses in front of me. She was about two or three (I don't know), and as she walked onto the sidewalk, going the same direction I was running, her mom, about 87 months pregnant, waddled after her.
Waddler: Come back, sweetie!
Runaway Girl: Heeheeheehee!
I kept running and eventually caught up to the little girl.
Runaway: Hi!
Me: Hello!
Runaway: Hi!
Me: . . . hi!
Runaway: I'm going to run with you.
Me: OK!
So then she started running after me. Away from her mother. This child was chasing me! CHASING ME! What if it followed me home and never left? I think that's how it happens. So, when I noticed she wasn't stopping and that her mother couldn't really run after her, I turned around and ran back toward her house.
Me: Let's run this way now!
Runaway: OK!
Me: Good job! Keep going!
Runaway: Hi, mommy!
And that's when her mom grabbed her and the runaway started crying. I totally tricked her, which is sort of comforting because sometimes I get worried that I might be stupider than a toddler.
We were all HOLD THE PHONE (what?). Nancy bought Rock Band? Nancy bought Rock Band. For Wii. Unfortunately, it was still in the box, but once we got to Nancy's, we made quick work of that. The drums are white for Wii Rock Band, unlike the black drums for XBox (is it XBox?) because Wii is racist. Trust me. Just play Rayman and keep your eye out for all the sleeping Mexicans. I wish I was kidding BUT I'M NOT.
Aaaaaaanyway, once the game was set up and I'd put the game disc in the right way (harder than it sounds), the band tour started, with Heidi on bass. At which point this happened, and made me the happiest girl in all the land:
Heidi: It's not working . . . seriously, why isn't it showing that I hit the right color?
Me: Is the guitar on?
Heidi: Yeah!
Me: I dunno then.
Heidi: IT'S NOT WORKING. WHAT THE HELL? ARRRRRRG!
Nancy: That's weird.
Heidi: I'm hitting the right color, WHY ISN'T IT SHOWING THAT I HIT IT?
Nancy: Um, are you strumming?
Heidi: . . . no?
All: BWAAHAAHAAHAAAA!
Seriously, you guys, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard EVER EVER IN MY LIFE. Ahem. I love you, Heidi.
This morning, when I left for work, I looked in the little patch of grass next to our steps and noticed something odd. Two 40s hanging out together, because apparently I'm back at Wittenberg. I think some college kids moved into the apartment next to us. This annoys me. Now that I'm not longer in college, I find most college students and the activities they participate in to be extremely annoying. I'm all, "you kids get off my lawn!" You know. Stuff like that. It's not that I no longer like to go out and act all crazy (see: Thanksgiving Miracle, Philadelphia, St. Patrick's Day, every trip to Chicago ever, tonight's bachelorette party (probably)), it's just that the times I do go out act like a booze-soaked psychopath are few and far between. Not because I don't like to drink anymore (heh), but because I'd rather sit at home in my pajamas and drink while watching a movie or playing Wii or whatever. I'm simple. I don't like wearing real pants, what can I say?
I don't know where I was going with that. Let's move on, shall we?
I went running the other night for the first time in like a week, because I SUCK, and as I was running, I noticed a little girl tottering down the driveway a few houses in front of me. She was about two or three (I don't know), and as she walked onto the sidewalk, going the same direction I was running, her mom, about 87 months pregnant, waddled after her.
Waddler: Come back, sweetie!
Runaway Girl: Heeheeheehee!
I kept running and eventually caught up to the little girl.
Runaway: Hi!
Me: Hello!
Runaway: Hi!
Me: . . . hi!
Runaway: I'm going to run with you.
Me: OK!
So then she started running after me. Away from her mother. This child was chasing me! CHASING ME! What if it followed me home and never left? I think that's how it happens. So, when I noticed she wasn't stopping and that her mother couldn't really run after her, I turned around and ran back toward her house.
Me: Let's run this way now!
Runaway: OK!
Me: Good job! Keep going!
Runaway: Hi, mommy!
And that's when her mom grabbed her and the runaway started crying. I totally tricked her, which is sort of comforting because sometimes I get worried that I might be stupider than a toddler.
Monday, June 16, 2008
and then we all ate ice cream
Yesterday, I fell off of a tightrope. It was going pretty well there for a while, but my balance is not that great (hence: all the falling down) and also there was this jumping bear trap right in the middle and when I tried to jump over it? I fell. And probably died. That's what usually happens when you're tightroping between two buildings and a bear trap closes on your legs and you fall to the ground. Good times.
Oh, and my parents got Wii Fit. That's how I managed to fall off a tightrope and still remain typing to you. I also ran a race. You put the Wiimote in your pocket and just run in place. It was fun until I realized I was, you know, running. Then I tried to hula hoop. Yeah, let's not talk about that.
Before all the Wii Fitting, I drove my mom to the video store and we passed this lady walking down the side of the street, pushing a grocery cart. She was wearing a hot dog hat. A HOT DOG HAT. (Heidi, like that one we bought Nancy that one time.) For real, she had a wiener on her head. A big one.
After dinner, we were watching Indiana Jones and I started explaining to my dad my idea for a new motivational tool that companies can use to, um, motivate their employees. Say you're walking down to accounts payable to drop off some invoices, OK? Wouldn't it be a lot more exciting if the Indiana Jones theme song was playing over loudspeakers in the hallway? Picture it . . . you're strolling along and then you hear, "Do do do dooooooo! Do do doooooo! Do do do dooooo! Do do do-do-do!" and then suddenly you're RUNNING down the hall and sliding down banisters and like, using your whip to swing across giant holes on the ground. You'd get those invoices to accounting SO MUCH FASTER. I really think this would boost productivity. Also, I thought it'd be fun if the Darth Vader song played as the CEO was walking toward your office. You know, as a warning signal to stop fucking around and get back to work. I think I'm going to explore this. Maybe I'll get my own infomercial.
I know it sounds like I've been doing a lot of shrooms or something, but I swear I haven't. This is all natural.
Oh, and my parents got Wii Fit. That's how I managed to fall off a tightrope and still remain typing to you. I also ran a race. You put the Wiimote in your pocket and just run in place. It was fun until I realized I was, you know, running. Then I tried to hula hoop. Yeah, let's not talk about that.
Before all the Wii Fitting, I drove my mom to the video store and we passed this lady walking down the side of the street, pushing a grocery cart. She was wearing a hot dog hat. A HOT DOG HAT. (Heidi, like that one we bought Nancy that one time.) For real, she had a wiener on her head. A big one.
After dinner, we were watching Indiana Jones and I started explaining to my dad my idea for a new motivational tool that companies can use to, um, motivate their employees. Say you're walking down to accounts payable to drop off some invoices, OK? Wouldn't it be a lot more exciting if the Indiana Jones theme song was playing over loudspeakers in the hallway? Picture it . . . you're strolling along and then you hear, "Do do do dooooooo! Do do doooooo! Do do do dooooo! Do do do-do-do!" and then suddenly you're RUNNING down the hall and sliding down banisters and like, using your whip to swing across giant holes on the ground. You'd get those invoices to accounting SO MUCH FASTER. I really think this would boost productivity. Also, I thought it'd be fun if the Darth Vader song played as the CEO was walking toward your office. You know, as a warning signal to stop fucking around and get back to work. I think I'm going to explore this. Maybe I'll get my own infomercial.
I know it sounds like I've been doing a lot of shrooms or something, but I swear I haven't. This is all natural.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
bright light, bright light!
Much like how you shouldn't feed a mogwai after midnight, I should not be allowed to make decisions after midnight, especially when I've been drinking. Last night, Steve, Heidi, and I were playing Wii and I was coming down from a half-day wine binge, meaning I replaced wine with beer. After a bit of playing (and cursing . . . loudly), someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was someone knocking on the wrong door, we ignored it, but then they knocked again. I went downstairs, peeked out the peephole, and saw a harmless looking (read: drunk) girl standing on our porch. I opened the door a crack and was all, "yes?" and then, you guys . . . WOW.
Girl: Hi! Oh my god, are you guys having a party?
Me: No . . . we're playing Wii.
Girl: Oh my god, THEY'RE PLAYING Wii!
Me: Um . . .
Girl: I'm Nicole.
Me: Hi, Nicole, I'm Jennie.
Nicole: Oh my god, you seem so awesome . . . can we be friends?
Me: Sure!
Nicole: Oh my god, awesome. I live downtown but I'm visiting some friends next door to you.
Me: Oh, are you having fun?
Nicole: Not really. But you seem really awesome.
Me: Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. I AM really awesome.
Nicole: Hahaha, oh my god. I'm Nicole, by the way.
Me: I know, I remember from the first time.
Nicole: Oh my god, you seem so awesome. Like . . . you just seem awesome.
Me: OK . . .
Then she introduced me to three of her friends who were also wandering around outside. I don't remember any of their names, but the guy with the Bullwinkle shirt was carrying around a case of beer. And I didn't want to seem like a bad host (?), so I invited them all up to play Wii with us. I know it sounds ridiculous that I invited a bunch of random strangers into our apartment, but they looked harmless and I can never resist making drunk-one-time-friends with people. Actually, I just wanted them to help us beat the harder levels of Rayman AND THEY TOTALLY DID. It was great, they did all the work and I just sat there drinking beer. If you ask me, that's the only way to play Wii.
Girl: Hi! Oh my god, are you guys having a party?
Me: No . . . we're playing Wii.
Girl: Oh my god, THEY'RE PLAYING Wii!
Me: Um . . .
Girl: I'm Nicole.
Me: Hi, Nicole, I'm Jennie.
Nicole: Oh my god, you seem so awesome . . . can we be friends?
Me: Sure!
Nicole: Oh my god, awesome. I live downtown but I'm visiting some friends next door to you.
Me: Oh, are you having fun?
Nicole: Not really. But you seem really awesome.
Me: Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. I AM really awesome.
Nicole: Hahaha, oh my god. I'm Nicole, by the way.
Me: I know, I remember from the first time.
Nicole: Oh my god, you seem so awesome. Like . . . you just seem awesome.
Me: OK . . .
Then she introduced me to three of her friends who were also wandering around outside. I don't remember any of their names, but the guy with the Bullwinkle shirt was carrying around a case of beer. And I didn't want to seem like a bad host (?), so I invited them all up to play Wii with us. I know it sounds ridiculous that I invited a bunch of random strangers into our apartment, but they looked harmless and I can never resist making drunk-one-time-friends with people. Actually, I just wanted them to help us beat the harder levels of Rayman AND THEY TOTALLY DID. It was great, they did all the work and I just sat there drinking beer. If you ask me, that's the only way to play Wii.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
today will be better, I swear
There's this lady at work who, every Friday, stops by my office to ask what I'm doing that weekend. She must think I live this super exciting life because she calls me "the social butterfly" of the office. I don't know what they all think I'm doing. I mean, yeah, sometimes I have something fun and exciting to tell them about, like a concert or a date or a trip to Dinosaur World (true story), but like . . . last night? Heidi and I went running and then managed to eat dinner AND go to Target to buy a nunchuck (a Wii nunchuck, not a ninja nunchuck, although that would have been awesome) AND we went to Meijer to look for this flavored beer we had at Nancy's last weekend AND then we went home to play Wii. Then. Oh, then, Internets, my parents called and asked if they could stop by with some friends. Which is how our living room ended up with six adults in it, trying to bowl without breaking anything or hitting anyone in the face. I know it's really sad that my parents came over to find us hanging out in our apartment on a Friday playing Wii with each other (hahaha) but THIS IS MY LIFE and I will not be ashamed.
When they left, Heidi and I tried to play this cracked-out rabbit game, and we were doing pretty well until it came time to throw cows (yeah, I know), and we had to give up because our arms got tired. You try throwing a cow 147 feet. It's tiring. Then Dwight Schrute and Jim Halpert played tennis together. I think they had fun.
At the beginning of our run yesterday (I call it "walking"), this little old lady in a scooter was coming down the sidewalk and Heidi was all, "she's going to run us over," and I said, "no, she's not, she's nice," and Heidi said, "nuh-uh, she's jealous that we have legs that work," and I said, "WOW, you are going to Hell." And then the little old lady stopped us to ask if we'd tell her how much battery power her scooter had left. We told her she had plenty and she kept going. Once she was gone, I said, "ha, it would have been funny if she didn't have any battery power left and we told her she was fine, and then she ran out," so maybe I'm going to Hell, too. Because LATER at Target, this little boy in Crocs (sigh) was running around the movie section playing with his ball (like, a bouncy ball, not one of the balls in his pants) and then he fell down.
I turned to Heidi and was all, "I have special powers. I wished for it to fall down and it fell down!" and she was like, "what fell down?" and I said, "the baby!" and why do I keep calling babies "it?" Anyway. Now seems like a good time to stop talking.
When they left, Heidi and I tried to play this cracked-out rabbit game, and we were doing pretty well until it came time to throw cows (yeah, I know), and we had to give up because our arms got tired. You try throwing a cow 147 feet. It's tiring. Then Dwight Schrute and Jim Halpert played tennis together. I think they had fun.
At the beginning of our run yesterday (I call it "walking"), this little old lady in a scooter was coming down the sidewalk and Heidi was all, "she's going to run us over," and I said, "no, she's not, she's nice," and Heidi said, "nuh-uh, she's jealous that we have legs that work," and I said, "WOW, you are going to Hell." And then the little old lady stopped us to ask if we'd tell her how much battery power her scooter had left. We told her she had plenty and she kept going. Once she was gone, I said, "ha, it would have been funny if she didn't have any battery power left and we told her she was fine, and then she ran out," so maybe I'm going to Hell, too. Because LATER at Target, this little boy in Crocs (sigh) was running around the movie section playing with his ball (like, a bouncy ball, not one of the balls in his pants) and then he fell down.
I turned to Heidi and was all, "I have special powers. I wished for it to fall down and it fell down!" and she was like, "what fell down?" and I said, "the baby!" and why do I keep calling babies "it?" Anyway. Now seems like a good time to stop talking.
Monday, April 14, 2008
eff
Hey, remember yesterday when I was bragging about how my arm didn't hurt even though I played with a billion Wiis (hee) this weekend? Yeah, well, it hurts now. I blame Heidi. She hooked her Wii up last night and then OF COURSE we had to play with it.
Sidenote: Can you believe we had a Wii in our apartment for over a week and we didn't even touch it once? Who ARE we?
So anyway. We hooked up the Wii and when I say, "we hooked up the Wii," I mean Heidi hooked up the Wii while I sat and played music on my computer. Then we made our Miis and got down to business. First we bowled. Then we beat the shit out of our boxing opponent. Then we played baseball. THEN we took the fitness test. I was 28, according to Wii, which is pretty damn close to my actual age so I was excited. Last time, I think I was 40 or something. Heidi . . . well, I won't tell you what Heidi got, but she looks SO GOOD for a senior citizen.
I bet you guys are tired of hearing me talk about Wii. Actually, I bet you guys are tired of hearing me talk PERIOD. End of sentence EXCLAMATION POINT. Um. We also made some famous Miis. Like Whoopi Goldberg. And Barney "Swarley" Stinson. And Jim Halpert. You might be wondering who is next. Well. I don't know. You tell me.
Tomorrow at volunteering, I have to lead the group all by myself for the first time ever. And I'm nervous. I planned some activities last night so hopefully the kids don't get all ADD and blow through them all super fast, because then I will be OUT OF IDEAS. I'm so scared. I'm always afraid kids won't like me. I don't really care if adults don't like me, because adults are two-faced and they'll just pretend that they like you and then talk shit about you behind your back. But kids are honest. Kids have no problem saying, "Jennie, I hate you," or "Jennie, you smell bad," or "Jennie, eat my poo." Not that any kids have ever said any of these things to me, but you never know when they might. I'll let you know after tomorrow.
Sidenote: Can you believe we had a Wii in our apartment for over a week and we didn't even touch it once? Who ARE we?
So anyway. We hooked up the Wii and when I say, "we hooked up the Wii," I mean Heidi hooked up the Wii while I sat and played music on my computer. Then we made our Miis and got down to business. First we bowled. Then we beat the shit out of our boxing opponent. Then we played baseball. THEN we took the fitness test. I was 28, according to Wii, which is pretty damn close to my actual age so I was excited. Last time, I think I was 40 or something. Heidi . . . well, I won't tell you what Heidi got, but she looks SO GOOD for a senior citizen.
I bet you guys are tired of hearing me talk about Wii. Actually, I bet you guys are tired of hearing me talk PERIOD. End of sentence EXCLAMATION POINT. Um. We also made some famous Miis. Like Whoopi Goldberg. And Barney "Swarley" Stinson. And Jim Halpert. You might be wondering who is next. Well. I don't know. You tell me.
Tomorrow at volunteering, I have to lead the group all by myself for the first time ever. And I'm nervous. I planned some activities last night so hopefully the kids don't get all ADD and blow through them all super fast, because then I will be OUT OF IDEAS. I'm so scared. I'm always afraid kids won't like me. I don't really care if adults don't like me, because adults are two-faced and they'll just pretend that they like you and then talk shit about you behind your back. But kids are honest. Kids have no problem saying, "Jennie, I hate you," or "Jennie, you smell bad," or "Jennie, eat my poo." Not that any kids have ever said any of these things to me, but you never know when they might. I'll let you know after tomorrow.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
let's go away for a while, you and I, to a strange and distant land
I think my Wii arm must be getting stronger, because I played with a lot of Wiis (hahaha) this weekend and my arm doesn't hurt at all. DESPITE the fact that I almost ripped my arm out of socket trying to play tennis. This was before someone told me that you didn't, in fact, have to swing your arm like you were actually holding a tennis racket. But it's so much more fun that way.
We tried to play Guitar Hero at Nancy's Friday night, and none of us made it through a single song. Perhaps it was the song, but I have a feeling it had more to do with the beer. HOWEVER. Last night, I played it again and I made it through a billion songs! Or like four. One of those. Of course, I was playing on Easy, but whatever. You know what I'd like to know? How can boys pick up a game for the first time and be good at it IMMEDIATELY? I have this theory that boys have an extra gene or chromosome or something (it's a well-thought out theory, you see) that enables them to play any video game well, even if they've never played it before. Sort of like Rainman and the toothpicks. Only not at all. Never mind.
I had Indian food for the first time last night, and it was delicious. Also, our waiter was psychic and NOT friends with the cute, little man who poured the water. And we enjoyed the musical stylings of Raj Patel and Little Ravi. I am aware I'm not making much sense to most (any?) of you, but I'M laughing and isn't that really all that matters? Yes. Yes, it is. You know, there was a time (birth through high school) that I wouldn't try any food that I didn't think I'd like. Which was limiting, you know? Then one day, I decided to just try anything someone put in front of me, as long as it was, you know, food. I think it started that Thanksgiving my dad bet me $10 that I wouldn't eat a raw oyster and yes, it was disgusting and yes, it was slimy, but at least I tried it. And I made ten dollars.
Also! Someone submitted something I wrote for this thing. Wow, I am great with details, yes? Anyway, thank you to whoever nominated me. This award will be added to my other writing awards which include . . . um, being a finalist in a short story contest and then LOSING. This is much better, thank you very much.
We tried to play Guitar Hero at Nancy's Friday night, and none of us made it through a single song. Perhaps it was the song, but I have a feeling it had more to do with the beer. HOWEVER. Last night, I played it again and I made it through a billion songs! Or like four. One of those. Of course, I was playing on Easy, but whatever. You know what I'd like to know? How can boys pick up a game for the first time and be good at it IMMEDIATELY? I have this theory that boys have an extra gene or chromosome or something (it's a well-thought out theory, you see) that enables them to play any video game well, even if they've never played it before. Sort of like Rainman and the toothpicks. Only not at all. Never mind.
I had Indian food for the first time last night, and it was delicious. Also, our waiter was psychic and NOT friends with the cute, little man who poured the water. And we enjoyed the musical stylings of Raj Patel and Little Ravi. I am aware I'm not making much sense to most (any?) of you, but I'M laughing and isn't that really all that matters? Yes. Yes, it is. You know, there was a time (birth through high school) that I wouldn't try any food that I didn't think I'd like. Which was limiting, you know? Then one day, I decided to just try anything someone put in front of me, as long as it was, you know, food. I think it started that Thanksgiving my dad bet me $10 that I wouldn't eat a raw oyster and yes, it was disgusting and yes, it was slimy, but at least I tried it. And I made ten dollars.
Also! Someone submitted something I wrote for this thing. Wow, I am great with details, yes? Anyway, thank you to whoever nominated me. This award will be added to my other writing awards which include . . . um, being a finalist in a short story contest and then LOSING. This is much better, thank you very much.
Friday, April 11, 2008
I hope my Wii knee will be OK
I'm going to a sleepover tonight. That's right, I said a sleepover. My friend Nancy (you know Nancy . . . Nancy of Dinosaur World! Nancy of the Penis Cake! OK, that's enough) got married in the Caribbean last month and she's FINALLY back and done with crazy stuff (until, you know, her reception in May . . . where there will be a hot dog bar . . . don't be jealous) and since her HUSBAND (yikes) is out of town tonight, she's invited us over for wine and Wii and, I'm assuming, boy talk and pillow fights and prank phone calls. That? Was the longest sentence ever.
She also has about a billion pictures for us to look at, including pictures from the bachelorette party that almost got snowed out (snowed in?) and, I'm just guessing here, but I think there may be some incriminating pictures I need to steal and burn so no one ever sees them. Apparently she and her HUSBAND (yikes) got a new grill (what is with you married people and your weirdo, grown-up purchases?) and so we're all going to attempt to grill hot dogs and hamburgers without burning their house down. The back up plan is pizza. I think it's good that we have a back up plan, seeing as how Heidi once set herself on fire with a marshmallow.
Last night, I went running because . . . well, I'm trying this new thing where I don't sit around reading and surfing the Internets 24 hours a day. It's . . . different. Anyway, the geese, they are everywhere and they are so mean! I was walking down the path by the pond and this lady goose (I guess?) was sitting right in the middle of the path. And this mean boy goose (I guess?) was like . . . I don't know, guarding her or something and I just tried to walk by them and he started hissing at me. I think he was hissing anyway. I had my music up pretty loud so I couldn't really hear him, but he had his mouth open and was flapping his wings at me and you guys? I'm not going to lie to you. I thought I might die.
Also, a little show called The Office came back to television last night, and the world made sense again. Heh.
She also has about a billion pictures for us to look at, including pictures from the bachelorette party that almost got snowed out (snowed in?) and, I'm just guessing here, but I think there may be some incriminating pictures I need to steal and burn so no one ever sees them. Apparently she and her HUSBAND (yikes) got a new grill (what is with you married people and your weirdo, grown-up purchases?) and so we're all going to attempt to grill hot dogs and hamburgers without burning their house down. The back up plan is pizza. I think it's good that we have a back up plan, seeing as how Heidi once set herself on fire with a marshmallow.
Last night, I went running because . . . well, I'm trying this new thing where I don't sit around reading and surfing the Internets 24 hours a day. It's . . . different. Anyway, the geese, they are everywhere and they are so mean! I was walking down the path by the pond and this lady goose (I guess?) was sitting right in the middle of the path. And this mean boy goose (I guess?) was like . . . I don't know, guarding her or something and I just tried to walk by them and he started hissing at me. I think he was hissing anyway. I had my music up pretty loud so I couldn't really hear him, but he had his mouth open and was flapping his wings at me and you guys? I'm not going to lie to you. I thought I might die.
Also, a little show called The Office came back to television last night, and the world made sense again. Heh.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Ten minutes to Wapner. We're definitely locked in this box with no TV.
Hi. I'm pretty tired today, on account of all the stuff I did last night. For example, I:
I've done nothing of consequence all day. Of course, I've only been up for an hour, but I've filled that hour with coffee and honey nut cheerios and Spongebob. So far, this is like the best Saturday ever. I hope everyone else's Saturday is as Spongeboby as mine.
- raced a cow
- went ice skating
- rode on a shopping cart
- threw bunnies off a cliff
- played baseball with bunnies
- was in a band
- knocked half of Paris over with the power of my burp
- shot ducks, balloons, alien spaceships and Heidi's face
- played ping pong
- played pool
- went fishing
- milked a pig and milked it faster than anyone milked a cow
I've done nothing of consequence all day. Of course, I've only been up for an hour, but I've filled that hour with coffee and honey nut cheerios and Spongebob. So far, this is like the best Saturday ever. I hope everyone else's Saturday is as Spongeboby as mine.
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