It is a truth universally acknowledged (um, in our house anyway), that I know little to nothing about comic book stuff and Joe knows, well, everything. We saw Thor last and I had some follow up questions regarding Thor, The Avengers, and the previews for X-Men: First Class. And I thought HEY! Maybe other people have the same questions! Or maybe they want to laugh at how little I know about comics. Win win win!
Anyway, read on and be educated:
1. The Cosmic Cube
Jennie: So, what was that thing at the end of the credits?
Joe: The Cosmic Cube. It’s basically a source of unlimited power, I’m not sure how it works, and the Red Skull is always after it.
2. Where my bitches at?
Jennie: I was expecting an Avengery person to be in Thor but I didn't remember that Jeremy Renner was an Avenger.
Joe: Yeah, I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to spoil it.
Jennie: And he's...The Green Arrow?
Joe: No, Hawkeye. The Green Arrow is DC, Hawkeye is like Marvel's answer to The Green Arrow.
Jennie: Oh. I get all the Green people mixed up. Hornet, Lantern, Arrow, IT'S CONFUSING.
Jennie: OK, so the Avengers are Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye but not Hawkeye from MASH, Captain America...
Joe: You said Captain America already.
Jennie: Oh...um, who are the rest?
Joe: You forgot Thor.
Jennie: Ha, oh yeah, duh. Are there any girl Avengers?
Joe: Well, there's Black Widow.
Jennie: UGH. Scarlett Johanssen.
Joe: Yeah. There's also The Wasp and Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch is Magneto's daughter.
Jennie: But they don't get their own movies.
Joe: Well...probably not.
Jennie: THAT'S BULLSHIT.
Joe: I agree.
Jennie: So what you're telling me is that the most high profile female Avenger right now is played by Scarlett Johanssen. Who cannot act.
Joe: I know, it's unfortunate.
Jennie: But she looks really good in the outfit, so I suppose that's all that matters.
3. Captain America is an old man
Jennie: OK, so, Captain America is in the new Avengers movie, right?
Jennie: But in his movie, it's the 1940s?
Jennie: Does he not age, or what?
Joe: Well...OK, this is kind of spoilery.
Jennie: I don't care.
Joe: At the end of World War II, Captain America and his partner get blown up by a bomb and Captain America is encased in ice.
Jennie: Oh yeah! Isn't there a scene in one of the other movies where they show him in Antarctica or something.
Joe: Yeah, at the end of The Hulk, Edward Norton goes to Antarctica to kill himself--
Joe: And the camera swings quickly over Captain America frozen in ice.
4. Nicholas Hoult is totally old now
Jennie: So, that one X-Men character from one of the old movies, I don't remember what he was called, but he was played by Kelsey Grammar?
Joe: Yeah, Henry McCoy aka Beast.
Jennie: Is he in the new movie?
Joe: I think so?
Jennie: Is he played by the kid from About a Boy?
Joe: Yes! That's who it is...he plays Henry McCoy.
Jennie: Cool, I liked that guy.
5. Mystique's mothering skills
Jennie: And Mystique is in the new movie? But she's good?
Joe: Mystique was always bad, at least in the comics. Rogue, on the other hand, started off bad then turned good.
Jennie: Did you know Mystique is Nightcrawler's MOM?! WTF?
Jennie: Why wasn't that in the movie, that's awesome!
Joe: I don't know. Mystique is also Rogue's mom.
Jennie: But adopted mom, right?
6. HULK SMASH
Jennie: So, The Incredible Hulk...he's an Avenger, but goes all crazy and is kind of bad, right, when he changes into The Hulk?
Joe: Well...yeah, sort of.
Jennie: How does that work?
Joe: They sort of...time his freakouts for when they need a bunch of stuff to be smashed.
Jennie: And then what, they have to like reign him in?
Joe: Pretty much. The Hulk has always more or less been a force of nature. He’s usually a mindless, rampaging monster. In the early issues of The Avengers, Hulk was on their side during the big battles, but the team also spent a lot of time just trying to keep him under control.
7. Me Thor, You Jane
Jennie: Jane and Thor are kind of like Tarzan and Jane, huh?
Other fun facts (from Joe)!
1. There’s also Ant-Man, who was a founding Avenger, but he’s had his own movie in development for a while (by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright!)
2. Captain America was not a founding Avenger. He joined in issue 4 when he was found frozen in ice and revived by The Avengers.
3. Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch’s brother, all started off as villains before they joined The Avengers. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are twins and the children of Magneto.
I'm sure he has more fun facts than that but those are the only ones I know about. I hope you have found today's Avengers lesson beneficial.