Thursday, January 03, 2013

I am the future, WORLD, so get it together already

I keep changing the background image on my desktop at work. Usually, it's set as some kind of beach scene but not necessarily. Sometimes it's a waterfall. Or the woods. Or some Sound of Music hilltops. And when I find myself getting too stressed out, I go to my desktop and stare at the picture for a few minutes, taking deep breaths until I relax. YES I REALIZE THAT THIS IS COMPLETELY SAD BUT MY OFFICE IS A CAVE WITH NO WINDOW AND MY COMPUTER IS MY ONLY CONNECTION TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD SO LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY. Ahem.

Eventually, the picture's effectiveness wears off, which is why I have to keep changing it, but it's always a nature picture because, provided no animals are trying to attack you or you don't step onto a beehive, nature is relaxing as shit. And, given the crazy busyness of the past few months, I am very much into relaxing, especially when things are relaxing as shit because SHIT IS RELAXING DID YOU KNOW THAT?

Last night, I was kind of dreading coming home, not because I didn't want to leave work (PSHAW), but because I knew I was going to have to cook dinner when I got there. None of this "let's just pick something up on the way home," business, because my goals for the year include not eating junk food every night of the week, which means one thing: COOKING. The other thing I was dreading was the fact that we haven't been to the grocery since I-don't-know-when, so I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to cook. But it turned out to be fine, because I always forget that cooking is the ideal time to play my Spotify "Disney and Crap" playlist as loudly as possible and have a sing-a-long whilst sauteing. OMG REMEMBER DISNEY SINGALONGS?

But, you guys, when I say I was cooking, I don't mean COOKING cooking (not like Kat cooking), I mean I was in the kitchen and I chopped things and I used the stove, which I guess is TECHNICALLY cooking but it didn't feel like cooking because here is what I made: scrambled eggs with turkey and sauteed bell peppers, which I then mixed with salsa and guacamole. BRINNER! I also had a glass of milk and a piece of dark chocolate, in case you were wondering. I know you aren't supposed to blog about what you had for lunch but this is what I had for dinner AND it was mostly breakfast food, so I think I'm safe. WHATEVER, BLOG RULES, I DEFY YOU.

What do you guys do to relax? Besides drink heavily, I mean. Do you cook? I only find cooking to be relaxing if I know what I'm doing, which is hardly ever. But I sometimes forget that not everyone is exactly like me (WHAT) so things I find terrifying and horrible (like going shopping at THE MALL) might be the very things that cause massive relaxation (gross) in other people.

Sometimes I don't understand what we, and by WE I mean HUMANS, have done to our lives, the world, etc. Sure, we've had all these technological breakthroughs, people don't (usually) die of the common cold anymore, and, you know, we have constant contact to THE INTERNET, which I wouldn't trade for almost anything. But really this is all just creating way more work for us when we should be chasing the ideal life, which is: spending as much time as possible sitting around DOING NOTHING. For real! I feel like the majority of my life is spent trying to do all the stuff that I HAVE to do as quickly as possible so I can bank as much free time as I can (like...a video game?), and I will then spend all of that banked free time DOING NOTHING and by DOING NOTHING, I mean reading or writing or cuddling the internet in the soft glow of Netflix. Why isn't this everyone's goal? CATCH UP, WORLD.


  1. You know what's good if you want to cook more? I always cook on Sundays and I make giant portions of whatever it is I'm cooking and then either eat it for the rest of the week, or freeze dinner portions in tupperware or plastic bags for laterz. It's cooking for lazy people.

  2. That's what we've done in the past. It does make the week really nice but lately we've been too lazy to even cook on Sundays. Hee.

  3. I finally got actually into cooking this year (when I got my own kitchen). I barely know what I'm doing, but I try to do at least one recipe from a cookbook (Everyday Food Fast I think it's called) a month and I constantly remind myself how easy and delicious all my fridge ingredients are so I really can't go wrong! Plus: sandwiches totally counts as cooking.

    I also like dishes that you mix up and then put in the over. Feels easier.

  4. Oh man. If sandwiches count as cooking, then I cook all the time.