Friday, March 01, 2013

Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.

I’ve been rewatching The X-Files like it’s a project, because calling it a project means I’m not wasting time watching TV, I’m DOING SOMETHING. I’ve been sort of cheating (at least it FEELS like cheating, in my head, because my head plays by arbitrary rules) by skipping episodes that I really, really don’t want to watch. I used to watch this show over and over again, though, when I was a kid, so I feel OK skipping some of them. SO IT’S NOT CHEATING BACK OFF.

I spent the majority of my teenhood watching this show, so it feels quite strange to be watching it all again now, from an adult’s perspective. Well. “Adult.” Weird things are making me cry much more than they ever did before. And, of course, there’s the Mulder/Scully romance thing.

It should surprise no one that I was a Mulder/Scully shipper, because I’m an EVERYONE/EVERYONE shipper. Mulder and Scully were the ship that launched a thousand ships, the epicenter of UST, the subjects of argument between Shippers, who (in my mind, anyway) enjoyed the stories and conspiracy aspects of the show but also wanted Mulder and Scully to touch each other where they pee, and NoRomos, who thought Mulder and Scully ending up together would ruin the show, blah blah Moonlighting.

I spent SO many hours in the early days of the internet (AOL WHAT), arguing with NoRomos on my X-Files email group (shut up) about how Mulder and Scully were MFEO OBVIOUSLY. A friend and I even made a website solely devoted to cataloguing the shows “shippy moments,” (jesus) episode by episode, WITH SCREENCAPS. This was high-tech stuff back then, you know. My friend was the one who captured the pictures of the moments, which felt like magic at the time, while I spent hours rewatching episodes and writing blurbs for each. I found the website a few months ago. It felt like time traveling. No, you cannot see it.

Watching it now, I don’t know why there was ever any argument. Mulder and Scully are obviously in love. Like, completely. Maybe not romantic love, not at first, because they weren’t banging yet (um, spoiler), but they so loved each other’s faces! Have you seen the way they GAZE at each other?

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Whatever, Mulder.

And they way they talk to each other with about two inches separating their faces?

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Also THIS. I don't make a habit of gently cupping a co-worker's cheek.

Joe tried to tell me that the close-talking is just a TV thing but no, that’s how Mulder and Scully talk to each other, all the time, all whispers and furtive glances, and they are in love THE END.

Anyway. My new favorite thing is watching The X-Files while in bed. If I could go back in time and tell 14-year-old Jennie that when she’s an adult, she’ll have the ability to lie in bed and watch The X-Files on her computer while surfing the internet on her phone, her head would explode. So, I guess if I ever find a time machine, I won’t do that. Otherwise I’d have no head right now. And I need one of those to live, I’m pretty sure.

The only bad thing about doing this is that some episodes are really, really creepy. I wouldn’t say they’re scary, as in a “this zombie just jumped out and chewed off a guy’s face,” but more like, “why am I watching the creepiest episode of The X-Files ever, in bed, in the dark, when Joe isn’t home?”

The episode in question? Irresistible, starring one Donnie Pfaster, aka The Creepiest Creep To Ever Creep. This episode has always terrified me, Donnie Pfaster being one of those normal-looking human-monsters, so able to blend into the background, and of course it features one of the show’s scariest tropes: Scully In Peril. Joe said I should make a list of all the times Scully is kidnapped/in danger and Mulder has to maniacally rush to find her (also a list of all the times Mulder loses/drops his gun, but who has that kind of time?), which does happen a lot, but I’m kind of OK with it? Because A) Mulder gets himself into plenty of trouble, too, and Scully has to save him and B) Mulder worrying about Scully is SUPER ADORABLE YOU GUYS M+S 4EVA!!1!!1!!!


  1. Yes. So much yes.

  2. I want that website. I WANT IT NOW.