this contains spoilers for: The Good Wife, Downton Abbey, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and other shows that are so old I've decided they don't need spoiler warnings

I haven’t posted in almost two months and, of course, the thing that brings me back is TV feels. Last night’s episode of The Good Wife ripped out my heart and threw it on the ground and stomped on it with cleats and then scooped it up and threw it into a blender. THINGS ARE NOT OK.

Do any of you even watch that show? I hesitated at first, because it’s on CBS and it seemed like a total mom show (and maybe it is, because most of the moms I know watch it), but it’s actually really, really good. I KNOW. It shouldn’t be that surprising, really. It’s filled to the brim with talent: Julianna Margulies, Christine Baranski, Nathan Lane, Alan Cumming, and, until last night, Josh Charles.

Because last night The Good Wife lost its damn fool mind and killed off Will Gardner.

I have two major problems with this (well, three, if you count the fact that I don’t get to see Josh Charles on my TV every week):

1. The Good Wife is not Grey’s Anatomy. Killing off your male lead? OK, I guess, if you absolutely must, but in a courtroom shooting? Really? 

2. No more Willicia. A major driving force of the show was the will-they-won’t-they thing between Alicia and Will (and whether or not she’d ever leave her dumb husband for him). So. Guess that’s over, unless Will comes back as a walker.

Earlier this week, my friend, Nancy, who keeps tabs on these things, brought to my attention that Josh Charles hadn’t yet signed his contract for next season. We briefly considered the idea that they might kill him off, but dismissed it for the above reasons. Because why would they do that? I’ve seen articles calling this a brave move and, yeah, I guess it is, but was it smart? I’m sure the show will continue to be well-written and well-acted. It will probably bring out some really fantastic acting from the other leads. But I can’t imagine I’ll enjoy it the way I used to. I told Nancy that I would stop watching the show if they killed Will. I still have that inclination, but am also curious to see how the rest of the season plays out. So I’ll watch, but I doubt my heart will be in it (except for the part of my heart that is HORRIBLY BROKEN BEYOND ALL REPAIR).

I don’t remember being this upset about a character’s death since I don’t know when. Which is a total lie, because I REMEMBER THEM ALL. And here they are, in order of feels:

Sybil, childbirth (Downton Abbey)

I was spoiled for this and it was still hard to watch. The show killing off the most likeable of the sisters was shocking enough but was especially nutso when you consider what happened later that season, which leads me to...

Honorable mention: Matthew Crawley, car accident. I was also spoiled for this but, even as I watched, was hoping I'd read it wrong? I read an article last night that compared Will’s death’s to the move they made with Matthew on Downton Abbey and couldn’t help but think, “oh, fantastic, that’s when I lost all interest in the show.”

Billy, brain tumor (Ally McBeal) 

I know, right? What? Ally McBeal? I don't remember a whole lot about this, other than it was really sudden and shocking because this was before the internet spoiled everything.

Melissa Scully, gunshot wound (The X-Files)

This was mostly sad because it made Scully cry a lot and Scully crying is the saddest thing ever.

Honorable Mention(s): Mulder, buried alive in the desert. And Mulder, gunshot wound to the head. And Mulder, alien...stuff.

Hank, shot in the desert (Breaking Bad)

I'M STILL UPSET ABOUT THIS.

The Red Wedding, EVERYBODY STAB NOW (Game of Thrones)

No, I HAVEN’T read the books, thanks for asking, and yes, I reacted exactly like these people did:

Boone, airplane crash, but not THAT airplane crash (Lost)

I wasn't all that attached to Boone, but this was the first main character death and the moment we learned this show wasn't playing around re: killing off favorites.

Honorable Mention: Sun/Jin, drownded (WHY BOTH WHYYY)

Honorable Mention #2: Charlie, also drownded (NO SERIOUSLY WHYYYYY)


Lucy Knight, stabbed (ER)

ER was one of the first shows I really, really loved, and so Lucy’s death was the first time I realized a show could break my heart.

Joyce Summers, Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

This one was just mean. Just...I hate you, Joss Whedon.

Honorable mention: Anya, killed as an afterthought, RIP.

Mrs. Landingham, car accident (The West Wing)

I don’t want to talk about this anymore.


Anyway, RIP Will Gardner.

At least Dan is still alive.