also, why is the Baroness such a see you next tuesday?

I woke up this morning with that Do Re Mi song from The Sound of Music stuck in my head. I don't know why. I've stopped questioning these things. I have a different song stuck in my head almost every morning, as soon as I wake up, and it could be anything from Old McDonald (I KNOW) to Lisztomania.

But this morning my head was full of the vocal styling of Nunny Maria and like eighteen adorable moppets. There were eighteen of them, right? Whatever. So the whole time I'm getting ready, it's running through my head and at first I couldn't remember the order it went in. I was all Do Re Mi La Fa So Ti Do Bleep Bloop Blah Blerg. Which isn't how it goes, if you've never seen the movie. Why haven't you seen that movie, though? I love it with all my heart, I do, it's my favorite Julie Andrews movie aside from Mary Poppins (I typed Poopins before Poppins, I don't know what that says about me but I don't think it's good).

I finally got it right, though, and then I concentrated on remembering what each of the notes stood for which was difficult because I kept mixing it up with Homer Simpson's version. (I hope that's the right link. It's blocked at work so I have no idea. I'm sorry if I just took you to some video of, like, cats playing baseball except no, I'm really not, because that sounds awesome.)

Anyway. I finally remembered that it goes like this: Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name I call myself. Fa, a long long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow So. Ti, a drink with jam and bread. And that brings us back to DO DO DO DO.

And La is totally the red-headed stepchild of that song. Poor La. Right, so then I got to thinking about the movie and how Maria is all, "when you read you begin with ABC, when you sing you begin with Do Re Mi," and she teaches the kids the song and all of the sudden they just know how to sing. POOF. Magic. But I'm pretty sure there was no magic in that movie, other than like looooove magic between Captain von Trapp and Maria, which you can see every time they look all googly eyed at one another because they are bathed in the soft light of WANTING TO GET. IT. ON.

I wish they'd had real magic in the movie, though. If they'd had magic, they could have turned that nasty a-hole Rolf into a toad and then stomped on him until he was nothing but toad guts and then flown away in their magical flying car instead of traipsing through the mountains to Switzerland or whatever. Is that where they were going? Switzerland? I don't remember. I'm also really bad at geography.

I know it's a musical and all and bursting into spontaneous song I can totally accept, but when they just are like SO GOOD at singing right off the bat? Bullshit. That would be like me learning the ABCs and then moving right along to reading Proust or something. Like, I think they skipped a couple hundred steps.

But whatever. I don't care, I still love the movie, don't get me wrong. I used to watch it practically every weekend when I was a tiny little child, and I'd also sing along to all the songs but I'd get mad at my sister if SHE tried to sing along and my god, my parents must have been so very, very patient. And then we'd switch to Mary Poppins and I'd sing all those songs, too, imitating Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent in my tiny little child voice and I'd wish my parents would hire Mary Poppins as a babysitter the next time they went out. Governess Maria von Nun would have been OK, too, but I think when I was little I thought that a governess was an ex-nun who moved in with you if your mother died and then married your dad and made you clothes out of curtains and stuff, sort of like Scarlett O'Hara but way less selfish and so my definition of governess wouldn't have worked in my situation. Which is fine, but my parents couldn't have hired an flying nanny JUST ONCE? I tried flying with an umbrella myself but I must have had the wrong kind of umbrella so it didn't work. I also tried jumping into my sidewalk chalk drawings but I guess I had the wrong kind of chalk, too? I don't know, maybe magic sidewalk chalk only works in Britain. Britain gets all the magic, it's not fair.

a glimpse

Last night, Joe and I made quesadillas for dinner but really they were more like tostadas, if I'm being completely honest. And I might as well be completely honest because why lie about quesadillas? If you can't be honest about quesadillas, what CAN you be honest about?

I took them out of the oven and we transferred them to plates so we could cut them into fourths. Because that makes it easier to eat with your hands and why wouldn't you want to eat with your hands? Why are you so fancy? Who are you trying to impress? Plus, eating with your hands is awesome. Anyway, since he is a gentleman, Joe started cutting my quesadilla before his and then this happened:

Me: NOOOO! STOP! You're cutting it wrong!
Joe: ...what?
Me: If you make them the same size, how will I know which one to eat first*?!

And that's when Joe started pounding his head on the cabinet (for real) and laughing at me and I was all, "...I'm mostly kidding," and he was like, "IT'S THE MOSTLY THAT WORRIES ME," and this is what it's like to live with me, right, Heidi?

*If I cut stuff in half (or fourths, whatever), I have to cut them in different sizes because I have to eat the smallest piece first OBVIOUSLY. Shut up.

time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping

You know how they say time flies when you're having fun? I think that's stupid because time flies when you're not having fun, too. Like, I can't believe it's Wednesday already but I've spent most of this week working and that's not fun, right? I mean, maybe your job is fun but the only time my job is fun is when someone brings in free food. Or when the pressures of the day because JUST TOO MUCH and we all start throwing stuff at each other, not that that ever happens because that's not appropriate workplace behavior and I definitely don't condone it but why would they give everyone little stress balls if they didn't want us to throw them at each other? Huh?

This is not to say I haven't been having fun because OH, have I been having fun OH YES I HAVE. Last Thursday, Joe and I saw Frightened Rabbit and they blew my mind. And my eardrums. What? Haha, funny joke, Jennie. Anyway. There were two opening bands and the first one was AWFUL. I mean, they sucked major donkey balls. Like the biggest donkey balls ever. I forget their name because I've tried to block out that experience. The second band was good and Frightened Rabbit was...well, I already mentioned the mind-blowingness so I'll just stop there. I will just say that I haven't been able to stop listening to them since we saw them, such is the power of the adorable Glasgow accent.

We also saw Iron Man 2, which I suppose I liked, not having gone into it with any expectations other than Robert Downey Jr. is beautiful and I'd probably get to see him shirtless at some point. WHICH I DID. The most confusing part of the movie was in the filler beforehand, when Zachary Levi sang a song with Katherine McPhee. I thought maybe I was hallucinating the whole thing, but Abigail assures me that it's real and that Chuck just really likes singing. To which I say: go Chuck.

On Saturday, we went to a wedding cake/cupcake tasting and I ate so many cupcakes that I felt sort of ill the rest of the day, and sugar-crashed later that afternoon watching Walk the Line and woke up from my nap singing Ring of Fire, which actually isn't that unusual for me. But the cupcakes were delicious and I think we're going to have them make a million cupcakes for our reception and wouldn't you know it? They're the first cake place we went. It's a little place called Bombshell Bakeshop, which actually is located primarily on the internet and I find that somewhat fitting. Plus also, the cupcakes were so good that I never wanted to stop eating them, even if my stomach esploded.

And now for my most exciting news: I GOT A NEW BIKE. It looks sort of like Pee-wee's bike, a fact which made me jump up and down in the store, clapping my hands in excitement while Joe pretended he didn't know me.

Oh look, here's a picture:

I don't know what to name her. I do know that I love her. Last night, Joe and I went out to the garage and I gave her a hug and Joe pretended not to know me again. That happens a lot.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

Does anyone know what time ABC or Hulu puts Lost up on the Internets? I NEED TO KNOW ASAP. Or like, before the finale, at least.

UPDATE: DO NOT read the comments unless you saw last night's episode.

Are you there, internet? It's me, Jennie

I find that sometimes I don't write in here because I feel like I tell you guys the same things over and over. Like, haha, the other day I said something stupid and everyone made fun of me (true)! Or, I spent all of Saturday watching season 2 of Buffy (also true). Or even, JENNIE LOVE DUCKS (truest of all). I'm pretty sure I've even used the title of this post before. And I'm pretty sure I've SAID I'm pretty sure I've used the title of this post before AHHHH OMG meta tornado save the ducklings!

So that's why I don't post sometimes. It's not because I don't love you guys. In fact, it's just the opposite. I love you TOO much, so much that I've pitched a tent on your front lawn and spelled "I LUV U" in a gasoline-fire in the grass and now I'm standing there with my boombox blaring some Peter Gabriel and WHY WON'T YOU COME OUTSIDE AND TALK TO ME. Or at least let me in to use the bathroom.

Now let me tell you about my weekend, in which I said some stupid shit, spent most of my days watching Buffy, and then talked about how much I love ducks. ZING!

But yeah, you know what? I do love ducks. And you know what else? I went for the best run ever yesterday and you want to know why? Hardly anyone was in my park.

Here's what, internet. A week or so after Joe and I moved to the new place, I went for a run to make sure we'd moved to a running-friendly neighborhood. Because where I lived last year? Not so running-friendly, unless I wanted to drive somewhere else to run which seems wrong in some way, don't you think? Anyway, so I decided to go run around this one pond but then I discovered that there was no path around the pond! Which would be fine, if I wanted to run through goose turds but I didn't want to run through goose turds so I just kept going on the sidewalk because I wanted to see where the sidewalk ends (Shel Silverstein FTW!) and you know where it ended? In a park. An awesome park with lots of trees and a nice running path and a community garden (I think?) and geeses and duckses and frogs, oh my! No lie, you guys, I ran around that park with a big, stupid smile on my face and when I got home I was all, "JOE! I FOUND A PARK! And it was awesome! I saw some ducks! And geese! And a frog! Well, I HEARD a frog! Also, guess what?! I saw an albino squirrel! It looked at me!" because I am five, apparently. And also Dug from Up.

So now that is my park. I get very angry whenever I go there and someone else is using it. Effing hell, man, GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SICK MY GEESE-GANG ON YOU! You don't want to mess with my geese-gang. Nesting makes them loco.

I don't know where this park came from because it wasn't always there and it looks pretty new and they keep updating it with cool stuff. Like, last night I discovered that they had put in these little information boxes and you could push buttons and some nice lady would tell you all about crayfish and maple trees and stuff. Not like, crayfish IN maple trees because that would be weird. It's an awesome park but it's not a magic park. That I know of. I will keep you all updated.

Of all the Liz Lemons in the world, you're the Liz Lemoniest.

The date of my 10 year high school reunion was announced yesterday. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it seems super awkward to go hang out at a bar with people I haven't seen in ten years, people I only interact with on Facebook, and people who call me Jennifer like that's perfectly normal. On the other hand, it is at a bar and it seems like the majority of my Facebook HS friends have grown into people I might like to hang out with, so who knows?

I didn't have a bad high school experience, just a long one, you know? Like I was waiting and waiting to get out of there already so my real (read: fun) life could finally start rocking my face off. Which it did. I've never missed high school, I don't have any particularly nostalgic feelings toward my high school experiences, and if I want to hang out with anyone I went to high school with, I could message them on Facebook THUS IS THE POWER OF THE INTERNET. I actually don't have many lasting memories from my high school years, which leads me to believe they must not have been that bad. Surely not as bad as one of my classmates, who left the following comment on the event invite: Goddamn why wouldn't I want to see a bunch of people that I A.)never knew, B.)never liked, C.)never liked me... This sounds AWESOME!

Yeesh. Although...I see his point SUCH IS MY DILEMMA.

I don't know if I'm going to go yet. It's about a month before my wedding so I could always play the "too busy" card. Or, you know, that might be a good weekend for something bachelorette-party-like. What I'm saying is, I'm planning my escape should the Attending list get too scary.

My main source of concern is that ever since I saw that episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon goes to her high school reunion and discovers she had unintentionally been terrorizing her classmates all through high school, I've been terrified that I did the same thing and I'll go to my reunion and EVERYONE WILL HATE ON ME and there is just not enough alcohol in the world to battle that.

Blerg.

poopbutt

why isn't it 5 yet?