Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning! And burned down! HE'S GONE!
I heard it on the radio on my way into work and drove by a few minutes later. It is nothing but a charred husk of what once was. So sad. Of course, right after I drove by, I immediately called Joe. Obviously.
Joe: Did you see it?!
Joe: Holy shit.
Me: What happened?
Joe: They think it was struck by lightning.
Me: Oh my god. It looks so weird. It's just like a black headless skeleton now.
Me: He is risen!
Joe: He is now seated at the right hand of the father.
Me: Do you think they'll rebuild it?
Joe: Better, stronger, faster than he once was?
Me: Haha, yes.
Joe: I don't know.
Me: Hahahaha, wait, no...do you think they'll RESURRECT him?
Joe: Oh, Lord.