You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

I love when movies comes to life.

Dear Internets, I know I have been neglecting you. I'm sorry. As soon as I get home from work, I sit down in front of my computer and start writing How To Articles because I am SO. FAR. BEHIND because of Wedding Season. It's OK, though. I'm learning a lot (see: How To Cook a Turducken) and having fun with it (see: How To Be a Star Wars Fan) and I'm even using some of the profound knowledge I have worked so hard to gather over the years (see: How To Play Drinking Games). I miss you, Internets. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to research how to have a great 4th of July. I do believe there will be firecrackers involved.