Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I need to stop watching Garden State

Ever since e-mailing my mother the following:

I'm going home after work to change, and then I'll be home at 5:30

and not even realizing how it could be construed as nonsensical until after I sent it and sat here for a while thinking about it, I've been wondering about the word "home." I've called a lot of different places home in the past few years. I lived in four different places while in college, even though all were at Witt, and that's not counting what I called home-home (my parent's house) while I was at my school-home. It got confusing, especially when talking to someone on the phone.

Friend: Hey, where are you?
Me: I'm at home.
Friend: Oh, how are your parents?
Me: I don't know. Fine?
Friend: I thought you said you were at home.
Me: I did.

And so on. And even now, when I'm on my own and I have a new home-home, I still say I'm going home when I go to visit my parents. I wonder if it will always be that way, even though that house doesn't feel like MY house anymore. Particularly because I no longer have a room. A couple days after I moved out my little sister invaded.

It's like a part of me has split off. Even though I'm not living there any more, part of me still feels like it's home. Just like part of me will always feel like Wittenberg is home. Does that happen every time you move? When I move out of my apartment in April (if all goes as planned, fingers crossed) will part of me stay there? Or will it just be that place I lived before I moved to ______?

Or should I just stop smoking so much crack?


Do you even smoke crack? Or do you sniff it? Shoot it? Anyone?

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