"I use him to hunt moose!"

This is the conversation Joe and I had this morning as we were getting ready for work. As is the case with most of our morning conversations, I babble at a still-half-asleep Joe while he responds with a lot of one syllable answers and a general air of what-the-fuckery.

Me: Do you wanna hear about the dream I had last night?
Joe: Sure.
Me: Well. I was looking through all these dogs that needed to be adopted, right?
Joe: OK.
Me: And there was this one dog. I don't know what kind of dog it was but in my dream I kept calling him a Norwegian Elk Hound.
Joe: WTF? Is that even a real dog?
Me: I think so? I don't know what they look like but Mulder talks about one in an episode of The X-Files.
Joe: Oh, of course.
Me: Anyway, it was just one of those really big dogs with really long legs and a kind of a pointy, fuzzy face? Like, if it put its paws on your shoulders, it'd be taller than you.
Joe: Like Marmaduke.
Me: Sure, whatever. Anyway. This dog's name was Mutt.
Joe: OK.
Me: And he only had one eye! So I wanted to adopt him.
Joe: What?
Me: And we were really worried about Max not liking him because Mutt was a boy dog but we introduced them to each other and Max loved him!
Joe: Aww.
Me: So that's what I dream about now. Adopting one-eyed dogs named Mutt.
Joe: I love you.
Me: ANYWAY. I'm going to get on Petfinder today and see if I can find a giant, one-eyed dog named Mutt.
Joe: Um...
Me: COME ON WHAT IF I FOUND ONE WE'D HAVE TO GET HIM.

*****

OK, after Googling pictures of Norwegian Elk Hounds, I can safely say that is NOT the kind of dog I'm looking for.

I'm not Mutt BUT I'M SO PRETTY. 

This dog looks more like Mutt, only Mutt only has ONE EYE, remember? Please remember, you have to help me find him.

This could be Mutt's relative, who knows.

For your reference, here is what Mutt probably looks like currently. Be on the lookout!

Arrrrrrrrrr, matey!