Thursday, April 05, 2012

"I use him to hunt moose!"

This is the conversation Joe and I had this morning as we were getting ready for work. As is the case with most of our morning conversations, I babble at a still-half-asleep Joe while he responds with a lot of one syllable answers and a general air of what-the-fuckery.

Me: Do you wanna hear about the dream I had last night?
Joe: Sure.
Me: Well. I was looking through all these dogs that needed to be adopted, right?
Joe: OK.
Me: And there was this one dog. I don't know what kind of dog it was but in my dream I kept calling him a Norwegian Elk Hound.
Joe: WTF? Is that even a real dog?
Me: I think so? I don't know what they look like but Mulder talks about one in an episode of The X-Files.
Joe: Oh, of course.
Me: Anyway, it was just one of those really big dogs with really long legs and a kind of a pointy, fuzzy face? Like, if it put its paws on your shoulders, it'd be taller than you.
Joe: Like Marmaduke.
Me: Sure, whatever. Anyway. This dog's name was Mutt.
Joe: OK.
Me: And he only had one eye! So I wanted to adopt him.
Joe: What?
Me: And we were really worried about Max not liking him because Mutt was a boy dog but we introduced them to each other and Max loved him!
Joe: Aww.
Me: So that's what I dream about now. Adopting one-eyed dogs named Mutt.
Joe: I love you.
Me: ANYWAY. I'm going to get on Petfinder today and see if I can find a giant, one-eyed dog named Mutt.
Joe: Um...
Me: COME ON WHAT IF I FOUND ONE WE'D HAVE TO GET HIM.

*****

OK, after Googling pictures of Norwegian Elk Hounds, I can safely say that is NOT the kind of dog I'm looking for.

I'm not Mutt BUT I'M SO PRETTY. 


This dog looks more like Mutt, only Mutt only has ONE EYE, remember? Please remember, you have to help me find him.

This could be Mutt's relative, who knows.

For your reference, here is what Mutt probably looks like currently. Be on the lookout!

Arrrrrrrrrr, matey!

5 comments:

  1. You make me laugh Jennie...I can also point out that one of the dogs my mom had looks just like "Mutt"...well, without the eye patch anyway...

    By the way, I am STILL laughing...P.S. I will keep on the lookout for Mutt! :)

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  2. I expected...not that from a Norwegian Elk Hound. (But it's super adorable, so I think you should get one anyway.)

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  3. Mom, thank you! I look forward to one day owning a dog with an eye patch.

    Gretchen, I'm not going to lie to you...I was sort of hoping that with a name like ELK hound, it maybe had horns or something.

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  4. I bet you could get on a waiting list for one-eyed dogs at your local shelters. They probably also have waiting lists for three legged dogs like Champ, because who didn't want a three legged dog after seeing Champ? Everyone, that's who.

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  5. Oh man. Champ is THE BEST.

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