Thursday, October 18, 2012

ask again later

I complain a lot (see: this blog). Not just that, though, I TALK about complaining a lot (see again: this blog). I complain about everything: being tired, being hungry, my feet hurting, any time I'm not at 100% comfort level, my job, cleaning, the laundry, the pets, the house, etcetera etcetera ETCETERA.

I complain too much, I know. I try to be aware of it but even that doesn't stop the negativity from spewing out of my mouth. And what do I really have to complain about? Nothing, really. I'm so lucky. So why can't I shut up?

I have this picture hanging above my desk at home that I think I should maybe hang up at work, too. It's a flowchart. It's...well, here, just take a look:


I try to think about it whenever I start complaining about not being happy about something, because most of the things I'm unhappy about? I could change, just by trying harder, getting up earlier, not plopping my ass on the couch for hours at a time. My main problem, really, is that I like to complain about things but not actually change anything because change is scary and what if I change something and still nothing good happens? Well, duh, that means change something else but WHAT IF THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER? So instead I stay still, changing nothing, and wait for the world to change into something that will make me happier.

But guess what? The world doesn't give a shit if you're totally happy. The world just...is.

My OTHER problem is that I expect everything to be sunshine and roses, like, all the time, which is impossible, you know? And I KNOW THAT, logically. I know it's impossible. I mean, I'm not a 10-year-old, despite all evidence to the contrary (see AGAIN: this blog). But when something goes wrong, I just want to shut down until things are right again. And again, I'm not 10 years old anymore, so obviously shutting down is not an option. I just want everything to be perfect for everyone ALL THE TIME, is that too much to ask?

Um, yes. It is. But I have to believe that I have the ability to make it as close to perfect as I possibly can. Not all the time, not every day, but when I can. And not just for myself, but for Joe, my friends, my family. It wouldn't really take that much. Just getting off the couch.

12 comments:

  1. But the couch is so comfortable, and there's so much TV to watch...

    I know how you feel, though. It's easier to complain about stuff than to actually change it. Waaaaaaaaaah.

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    1. I know and TV IS SO AWESOME.

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  2. Are you worried about failing? Because if you're worried about failing, I can lend you my life's motto: Eh, who the fuck cares, anyway? Just repeat it to yourself about a billion times every day and you too won't care! (About anything, actually. So maybe this wasn't the best advice in the world. Also, complaining is fun.)

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    1. I don't think that's ENTIRELY it? I mean, sure, that's part of it but mostly I'm just lazy.

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  3. I'm pretty sure you're my long lost sister. Our brains are so similar.

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    1. It's pretty convenient that we ended up in the same family. :)

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  4. I think complaining, to a point, is just the steam boiling off the kettle. If it's to a point where others don't want to hang because you're so negative (which, btw, YOU ARE NOT), then sure - it's a problem. Bitching can be fun and cathartic. Sidebar but relevant, I am trying to stop casually using the word "hate."

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    1. Ooh, that's good. I say "hate" A LOT. I would like to stop being so negative in general, even if it's only in my head. Hee.

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  5. Um, Jennie? ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN.

    No. Seriously. It's like you transcribed my thoughts directly. I'm freaking out a little right now. Also, now I'm depressed.

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    1. Don't be depressed! If we're having the same thoughts that just means you're not alone! Right? Right!

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  6. Here's some food for thought: http://townhall.com/columnists/dennisprager/2007/02/20/happiness_is_a_moral_obligation/page/full/

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    1. Ooh, interesting! Thank you for this!

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