obligatory post-election post

Me: I've had an awful lot of wine for a Tuesday night.
Joe: I noticed.
Me: Whatever, it's a special occasion.

Last night, sometime around an-hour-past-my-bedtime and my third glass of wine, I wondered if I should maybe just go to bed. I knew I'd be tired today, but I eventually decided that was Future!Jennie's problem and Future!Jennie could suck it because: HISTORY. Now that I am Future!Jennie? I'm regretting it a teeny tiny bit only not really because WHOO OBAMA WHOO!

This is the second election in a row that I've voted for the winner, which is a nice feeling, yes? (Yes.) Still, I stayed away from gloating on Facebook because I remember how shitty it feels to be on the losing side. OH DO I. The first election I ever voted in was 2000 and BOY DIDN'T THAT GO WELL. I'm surprised it didn't turn me off of voting forever but no, I was even more fired up by 2004, despite the lackluster candidate (poor Kerry), and I remember trying to live-blog the entire thing until I got too depressed and then I just watched the returns on mute until I fell asleep around dawn. My friend called me from DC and we sat in silence on the phone for a while, until I asked where she was and she said, "In front of the White House. Just sitting." SUPER DEPRESSING.

So, yeah, it feels good when your candidate wins, especially when you didn't have to stay up until dawn to KNOW that he won, so the last two elections have been fine for me, other than the stomach-knotting-stress I felt the entire day.

It was kind of like...OK, so I had to give a matron-of-honor toast/speech at Heidi's wedding this past weekend. And for most of the day, I felt like I was fine. I was able to relax and have fun with my friends and, before the wedding ceremony, didn't feel like it was MY time to be nervous so I tried to make sure Heidi wasn't too nervous but, you know, duh she was. Who isn't? But once we got to the reception, I knew my speech was close at hand and I babbled nervously to Joe and had trouble sitting in my seat and choked down some dinner, though my stomach was full of butterflies, and somehow distracted myself enough that I almost forgot about the speech until they called for me and I had to go stand on stage and then I gave my speech and it was fine and people laughed when they were supposed to and I didn't break down in tears or throw up and when I was done, I sat back down beside Joe and I have never, EVER in my life experienced that kind of relief. I didn't even know how nervous I was until it was over and it felt like someone had injected my body with...um...I don't know, something relaxy. Or Felix Felicis, because the rest of the night was awesome.

Wait. What was my point? Oh, yes. I was super nervous before my speech but didn't know HOW nervous until after it was over, which is exactly how I felt about this election. I never actually thought Romney might win until yesterday, when the thought of President Romney became very, very real and I was TERRIFIED. It wasn't until well after they announced Obama had won that I felt myself relax.

And no, I don't think the wine had anything to do with it. Shut up.