Me: I've had an awful lot of wine for a Tuesday night.
Joe: I noticed.
Me: Whatever, it's a special occasion.
Last
night, sometime around an-hour-past-my-bedtime and my third glass of
wine, I wondered if I should maybe just go to bed. I knew I'd be tired today,
but I eventually decided that was Future!Jennie's problem and
Future!Jennie could suck it because: HISTORY. Now that I am Future!Jennie? I'm regretting
it a teeny tiny bit only not really because WHOO OBAMA WHOO!
This is the second election in a row that I've voted for the
winner, which is a nice feeling, yes? (Yes.) Still, I stayed away from gloating
on Facebook because I remember how shitty it feels to be on the losing
side. OH DO I. The first election I ever voted in was 2000 and BOY
DIDN'T THAT GO WELL. I'm surprised it didn't turn me off of voting
forever but no, I was even more fired up by 2004, despite the lackluster
candidate (poor Kerry), and I remember trying to live-blog the entire
thing until I got too depressed and then I just watched the returns on
mute until I fell asleep around dawn. My friend called me from DC and we
sat in silence on the phone for a while, until I asked where she was
and she said, "In front of the White House. Just sitting." SUPER
DEPRESSING.
So, yeah, it feels good when your candidate wins, especially when
you didn't have to stay up until dawn to KNOW that he won, so the last
two elections have been fine for me, other than the
stomach-knotting-stress I felt the entire day.
It was kind of like...OK, so I had to give a matron-of-honor
toast/speech at Heidi's wedding this past weekend. And for most of the
day, I felt like I was fine. I was able to relax and have fun with my
friends and, before the wedding ceremony, didn't feel like it was MY
time to be nervous so I tried to make sure Heidi wasn't too nervous but,
you know, duh she was. Who isn't? But once we got to the reception, I
knew my speech was close at hand and I babbled nervously to Joe and had
trouble sitting in my seat and choked down some dinner, though my
stomach was full of butterflies, and somehow distracted myself enough
that I almost forgot about the speech until they called for me and I had
to go stand on stage and then I gave my speech and it was fine and
people laughed when they were supposed to and I didn't break down in
tears or throw up and when I was done, I sat back down beside Joe and I
have never, EVER in my life experienced that kind of relief. I didn't
even know how nervous I was until it was over and it felt like someone
had injected my body with...um...I don't know, something relaxy. Or Felix Felicis, because the rest of the night was awesome.
Wait. What was my point? Oh, yes. I was super nervous before my speech but didn't know HOW nervous until after it was over, which is exactly how I felt about this election. I never actually thought Romney might win until yesterday, when the thought of President Romney became very, very real and I was TERRIFIED. It wasn't until well after they announced Obama had won that I felt myself relax.
And no, I don't think the wine had anything to do with it. Shut up.
Showing posts with label what do you like better christmas or wedding season. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what do you like better christmas or wedding season. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
make a little birdhouse in your soul
The week between Christmas and New Year's is so weird. Wow, BOLD STATEMENT, I know. But seriously, what is the point of this week? I'm at work for two days. It was supposed to be three but I got sick on one of them and I'm still a TEENSY bit sick but managed to drag myself into work because no one is here to see how disgusting I am. My old company used to completely close during this week, which I think is the right idea. Nothing of consequence gets done, even if you're at work, because no one else is there so you end up organizing the files on your computer for like an hour NOT THAT I'M SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE OR ANYTHING.
Plus, I just had five days off so it's like my brain has forgotten what it's like to sit in front of a computer for eight hours instead of, um, sitting in front of a TV for eight hours. I KID. My Christmas break was actually pretty busy. My only TV-heavy days were on Christmas Eve night when I wrapped presents and on the day after Christmas because my Community DVDs were seriously begging to be watched. For real. Have you ever seen a DVD beg? It's weird. They talk out of the little hole right in their middle but they don't have teeth or a tongue or lips so it sounds like, "ooooooooooh ooooh oooooh," basically, which I assume means, "WAAAAAAATCH ME, JENNIE, THEN WATCH ALL OF THE DELETED SCENES AND ALSO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH THE GAG REAL FIVE TIMES BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE LAAAAAUGHTER."
So, yeah. Hey, do you want to know what I watched on Christmas Eve, while drinking wine and wrapping presents and making the basement look like this:
Well, it's your lucky day because I will tell you! I watched a Doctor Who Christmas special, an episode of The X-Files (How the Ghosts Stole Christmas), The Family Stone, and half of Love, Actually. I only saw half because I started it toward the end of my present-wrapping and wine-drinking and I fell asleep halfway through. Wow, good story! Aren't you glad you stuck around for that?
But wait, let's rewind to Friday night! Because why not? I met some friends for dinner and drinks IN THAT ORDER and somehow we ended up here:
In case you can't tell, that is a magical Christmas wonderland of holiday light magic. Some crazy, lovely people in Springfield decorate their front and back yards with all manner of Christmas decoration and then encourage people to walk through. There's a path through the display, lined with sugarplums and gumdrops. Or just a rope. But whatever, my point is, do you feel it? Do you feel the magic?
How about now? THAT IS A CHRISTMAS DINOSAUR. That I didn't steal. Because that would have been wrong. And because there wasn't room in the car.
Honestly, the rest of Christmas felt a bit dull after that experience. HAHA JUST KIDDING CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME. We celebrated with my family on Christmas morning and Joe's family in the afternoon and it was a magical, exhausting day, notable mainly because Joe and I got each other the same gift. And not only did we get each other the same gift but it was the same awesome gift, seen HERE on the internet and here in our bathroom:
Not to put too fine a point on it, Internet, but you're totally the bee in my bonnet. Happy almost New Year.
Plus, I just had five days off so it's like my brain has forgotten what it's like to sit in front of a computer for eight hours instead of, um, sitting in front of a TV for eight hours. I KID. My Christmas break was actually pretty busy. My only TV-heavy days were on Christmas Eve night when I wrapped presents and on the day after Christmas because my Community DVDs were seriously begging to be watched. For real. Have you ever seen a DVD beg? It's weird. They talk out of the little hole right in their middle but they don't have teeth or a tongue or lips so it sounds like, "ooooooooooh ooooh oooooh," basically, which I assume means, "WAAAAAAATCH ME, JENNIE, THEN WATCH ALL OF THE DELETED SCENES AND ALSO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH THE GAG REAL FIVE TIMES BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE LAAAAAUGHTER."
So, yeah. Hey, do you want to know what I watched on Christmas Eve, while drinking wine and wrapping presents and making the basement look like this:
 |
| Not actually that messy. |
Well, it's your lucky day because I will tell you! I watched a Doctor Who Christmas special, an episode of The X-Files (How the Ghosts Stole Christmas), The Family Stone, and half of Love, Actually. I only saw half because I started it toward the end of my present-wrapping and wine-drinking and I fell asleep halfway through. Wow, good story! Aren't you glad you stuck around for that?
But wait, let's rewind to Friday night! Because why not? I met some friends for dinner and drinks IN THAT ORDER and somehow we ended up here:
 |
| SPLORT. That was my brain exploding. |
In case you can't tell, that is a magical Christmas wonderland of holiday light magic. Some crazy, lovely people in Springfield decorate their front and back yards with all manner of Christmas decoration and then encourage people to walk through. There's a path through the display, lined with sugarplums and gumdrops. Or just a rope. But whatever, my point is, do you feel it? Do you feel the magic?
 |
| Not many people know that elephants and giraffes are actually dinosaurs. |
How about now? THAT IS A CHRISTMAS DINOSAUR. That I didn't steal. Because that would have been wrong. And because there wasn't room in the car.
Honestly, the rest of Christmas felt a bit dull after that experience. HAHA JUST KIDDING CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME. We celebrated with my family on Christmas morning and Joe's family in the afternoon and it was a magical, exhausting day, notable mainly because Joe and I got each other the same gift. And not only did we get each other the same gift but it was the same awesome gift, seen HERE on the internet and here in our bathroom:
 |
| I AM WATCHING OVER YOU. |
Not to put too fine a point on it, Internet, but you're totally the bee in my bonnet. Happy almost New Year.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?
Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
Two things happened this year that made me feel alive, two things that are opposite sides of the same coin, really. I got married in September, a day full of happiness and fun and love, and then my grandma died in October and there were days of sadness and family and, you guessed it, love again.
When I think about both events, spending time with friends in the days before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the day itself, and a month later, the last time I saw Grandma, the visitation, the funeral, the days of confusion, I tend to focus on specific moments, the most important flashing through my mind in quick succession.
My grandma couldn't come to the wedding, but she was present that day. The pastor surprised us all by taking a moment to remember her during the ceremony, and I concentrated on blinking away the tears that quickly formed in my eyes. I sat next to my great-aunt, my Grandma's twin sister, after the ceremony and she held my hand, told me how the pastor's words had touched her, and we sat for a quiet moment together.
The wedding ceremony itself was a blur. My feet hurt, my arm was tired from holding the bouquet, and my cheeks already ached from smiling and laughing. We were so happy, walking out into the church foyer after the ceremony, holding hands, hugging friends and family, taking a giddy ride to the reception.
The reception was...I don't even know. There was Twister and dancing and there were fake mustaches EVERYWHERE, there were cupcakes and soft pretzels, and a bottle of wine and Hogwarts being passed around on the dance floor. I danced with my family and old friends and new friends and did I mention Hogwarts? I walked arm in arm to the bar (naturally) with my dad to get a drink, grinned at my parents dancing with their best friends, delighted in seeing my sister dance with mine. If the wedding ceremony was a blur, the reception was even hazier, a crazy whirligig of fun, if you will (™ Xander Harris), a funhouse ride swirling us about in an uncontrollable dance, finally spitting us back out at my parents' house for more celebration.
There was a moment, though, at my parents' house, that my dad and his brother and sister and I stood in a huddle in the kitchen, arms around shoulders, friends and family eddying around us. I don't remember who said it or how it was said, but someone made reference to how much fun Grandma would have had and how much she'd been missed that day, and we stood there, all bittersweet smiles and aching hearts, until we were swept away by the general merriment of the night. We didn't know she would be gone in a month. How could we?
The days of her visitation and funeral passed in a similar blur, but with more tears. My eyes were swollen from a week of crying and still my body had more tears, my high-heeled feet hurt, my heart hurt, and all I wanted to do was hide. But, as always seems to happen, those times when you want to run and hide are exactly the times you can't, and so I went to the visitation, made small talk with almost-strangers and kept my eye on my family, gravitating to whoever might need me most. I went to the funeral, jumped up to read when it was my turn, and spent the rest of it with my eyes forward, tears streaming down my face, holding Joe's hand, my other arm around my sister's shoulders.
It was a sunny autumn day, brisk but not cold, as we gathered around the graveside to say our final goodbyes. I tried not to stumble in my heels. I smiled at my sister, put a rose on other family plots, hugged a crying cousin as we walked away from Grandma one last time. I felt too alive that day and all too human.
We went to my parents' house after both the wedding reception and the funeral, my entire family gathered, joyous to be together, missing those not there, and all of us grinning and crying and laughing, just grateful to be alive and loving each other.
Two things happened this year that made me feel alive, two things that are opposite sides of the same coin, really. I got married in September, a day full of happiness and fun and love, and then my grandma died in October and there were days of sadness and family and, you guessed it, love again.
When I think about both events, spending time with friends in the days before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the day itself, and a month later, the last time I saw Grandma, the visitation, the funeral, the days of confusion, I tend to focus on specific moments, the most important flashing through my mind in quick succession.
My grandma couldn't come to the wedding, but she was present that day. The pastor surprised us all by taking a moment to remember her during the ceremony, and I concentrated on blinking away the tears that quickly formed in my eyes. I sat next to my great-aunt, my Grandma's twin sister, after the ceremony and she held my hand, told me how the pastor's words had touched her, and we sat for a quiet moment together.
The wedding ceremony itself was a blur. My feet hurt, my arm was tired from holding the bouquet, and my cheeks already ached from smiling and laughing. We were so happy, walking out into the church foyer after the ceremony, holding hands, hugging friends and family, taking a giddy ride to the reception.
The reception was...I don't even know. There was Twister and dancing and there were fake mustaches EVERYWHERE, there were cupcakes and soft pretzels, and a bottle of wine and Hogwarts being passed around on the dance floor. I danced with my family and old friends and new friends and did I mention Hogwarts? I walked arm in arm to the bar (naturally) with my dad to get a drink, grinned at my parents dancing with their best friends, delighted in seeing my sister dance with mine. If the wedding ceremony was a blur, the reception was even hazier, a crazy whirligig of fun, if you will (™ Xander Harris), a funhouse ride swirling us about in an uncontrollable dance, finally spitting us back out at my parents' house for more celebration.
There was a moment, though, at my parents' house, that my dad and his brother and sister and I stood in a huddle in the kitchen, arms around shoulders, friends and family eddying around us. I don't remember who said it or how it was said, but someone made reference to how much fun Grandma would have had and how much she'd been missed that day, and we stood there, all bittersweet smiles and aching hearts, until we were swept away by the general merriment of the night. We didn't know she would be gone in a month. How could we?
The days of her visitation and funeral passed in a similar blur, but with more tears. My eyes were swollen from a week of crying and still my body had more tears, my high-heeled feet hurt, my heart hurt, and all I wanted to do was hide. But, as always seems to happen, those times when you want to run and hide are exactly the times you can't, and so I went to the visitation, made small talk with almost-strangers and kept my eye on my family, gravitating to whoever might need me most. I went to the funeral, jumped up to read when it was my turn, and spent the rest of it with my eyes forward, tears streaming down my face, holding Joe's hand, my other arm around my sister's shoulders.
It was a sunny autumn day, brisk but not cold, as we gathered around the graveside to say our final goodbyes. I tried not to stumble in my heels. I smiled at my sister, put a rose on other family plots, hugged a crying cousin as we walked away from Grandma one last time. I felt too alive that day and all too human.
We went to my parents' house after both the wedding reception and the funeral, my entire family gathered, joyous to be together, missing those not there, and all of us grinning and crying and laughing, just grateful to be alive and loving each other.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
9. What would your Boggart be?
My boggart would be someone telling me that I had to plan a wedding again. Oh, zing! Just kidding, it really wasn't that terrible. But seriously (folks), I had a really good time planning certain things (mustaches!) and even the not-so-fun things (assembling the invites!) weren't that bad because I got to watch terrible movies while doing it. WIN WIN WIN.
Anyway, I don't know if anyone has any interest in this BUT it might be helpful if you ever plan on planning a wedding and you're lazy like I am. So, here is what we did and how we planned (I would like to apologize for the length...that's what he said) and I'm sorry if it's really boring because OMG how boring is talking about wedding planning? Also, how long was that sentence? Damn, Gina.
1. Ceremony Venue
We almost got married in a tiny park that has a dinosaur in it, surrounded by immediate family and wedding party only. Then we almost got married in a tiny church, surrounded by immediate family and wedding party only. In the end, we got married in the tiny church, surrounded by EFFING EVERYONE, because we obviously loved everyone we invited and wanted them to be there for the ceremony. I still don't know how we squeezed so many people in such a teeny tiny church. It was sort of like how the Weasleys and Harry and Hermione all fit in a teeny tiny tent when they went to the Quidditch World Cup.
2. Reception Venue
We vacillated on the reception hall for a while, but eventually settled on the only place we visited, which is where almost everyone in Dayton has their wedding reception. Which...whatever, we probably could have tried harder to find somewhere a bit more creative, but in the end, I didn't really care so much about the where, I was more interested in the who (as in, WHO would be there) and the what (as in, WHAT food/drinks will we serve and WHAT will we do to make this a super crazy awesome fun time).
3. Food/Drinks/Cake
We served an appetizer buffet instead of a sit down dinner, thinking it would be faster. I'm not sure it was, but I was so happy we went that route because appetizers are my favorite food group (what?) and the jalapeno poppers were SO GOOD. Also, there were teeny pie things that had pizza toppings inside and OMG. My parents had everyone over after the reception and they served the leftover reception food, and I have a very fuzzy memory of standing next to all the food, shoving the pizza pie things in my mouth, like, until they were gone.
Since we didn't serve a big dinner, we worried that people would be feeling peckish toward the end of the night, so we served a soft pretzel bar (with nacho cheese and various mustards) as a late night snack. I didn't eat any (sad face) because I was too busy dancing around Hogwarts on the dance floor, but they sure looked good.
In the early planning stages, I think we were most excited to go cake tasting, but we only ended up going to one place because THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK. Seriously. We got our cupcakes from The Bombshell Bakeshop, which is a local Dayton business, and the proprietors couldn't have been nicer. Joe and I totally have a couple crush on them (whatever that means). We got about 200 cupcakes, in various flavors, and left the rest up to them. I can safely say that they went above and beyond and if you're getting married in Dayton, please hire them. You will not be disappointed.
4. Flowers
I honestly did not give two shits about the flowers, but my mom (hi, Mom!) really wanted us to have real bouquets because they smell nice. And they did smell nice. We got them from The Flowerman, another local business. My only complaint is that my bouquet was so heavy that I thought my arm was going to fall off during the ceremony, but that's not their fault, that's my fault for being such a wuss.
5. Favors
MUSTACHES! I ordered the mustaches from MaroDesigns on etsy. I almost didn't, because I thought it would be way too expensive to order 160 mustaches at something like $3 each. I ended up emailing her, though, and I'm so glad I did because she gave me a much cheaper price for ordering them in bulk.
You guys. This was the best wedding purchase I made. Way better than the flowers, better than my dress, better than EVERYTHING. Joe was a little worried that I became so fixated on getting fake mustaches for the reception, but that's because he had no idea I'd found such awesome mustaches. I am so, so glad I got them, if only for the pictures. OH THE PICTURES.
6. Photographer
Speaking of pictures, my cousin, Dana, is a wedding photographer and she gave us a great deal. Which is awesome, otherwise we never would have been able to afford her. Heh. Her website is here: Dana Grant Photography and some of our wedding photos are here: Joe and Jennie's DAY OF FUN.
7. Music/DJ
Joe's friend DJed for us, which was awesome because she took care of getting the equipment and everything. Our first/mother/father songs were:
First Dance: Falling Slowly by The Swell Season
Father/Daughter: Gracie by Ben Folds
Mother/Son: Let it Be by The Beatles
8. Centerpieces
BOARD GAMES. Seriously, it was so easy and fun and no one I talked to had ever been to a wedding with board game centerpieces. What made it even better was that the reception hall took care of setting all of them up at the tables. Even Twister, which was set up right next to the dance floor. Plus, it was cheap since we already had a lot of the games.
9. Invites
This was another thing I didn't really care about. I mean, I wanted them to look nice but I didn't want to spend a bajillion dollars on them. So, Joe drew the design and I figured out what they should say and we printed and assembled them ourselves.
10. Dress
This was my biggest headache, I think, but it wasn't even that bad. It's just that I hate shopping and there's so much pressure for your wedding dress to be, like, the prettiest dress you'll ever own. To which I say BULLSHIT because I plan on buying lots of pretty dresses for the rest of my life, so suck it.
That's not to say I didn't like my wedding dress. I loved it. It was way more comfortable than any dress has a right to be and I got it for only $200 (SCORE). Joe's mom used to alter wedding dresses for a living, so did all of my alterations. The dress came with a long train, which she hemmed completely off so I wouldn't trip over it. The biggest pain in the ass, really, was finding a strapless bra that was supportive but that didn't cut off my air supply.
11. Thank You Notes
Um, we are still working on these. Sorry, everyone who sent us gifts, but we are both procrastinators. So, those will hopefully go out before the end of the year. Or before our first wedding anniversary. Heh.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I feel like I'm supposed to write about this, but I don't know how
So. The wedding is over. The honeymoon is over (heh). The presents are all opened, if not put away, but the thank you note process has only just begun. I feel like I'm coming out of some fugue state, honestly, like I've been living some other life for the past two weeks. Part of that, I think, is that I didn't work for two weeks (OMG AWESOME) and ALSO we were in paradise, I'm pretty sure, for a week, where all we had to do was remember to eat. And eat we did! You know who makes good Mexican food? Mexico. True story. ASHLEY. I tried Huevos Rancheros and I died for real. I had no idea Mexican breakfast was so magical. When I took the first bite, I was like, "I can't wait to tell Ashley I tried Mexican breakfast." It's true. You can ask Joe. Anyway.
I want to say so much about our wedding but I don't even know where to start. If I started listing all of my favorite moments, I'd never stop writing. The celebration actually started the Wednesday before the wedding, when I left work that afternoon with a SO LONG, SUCKERS and headed home for a blissful two week reprieve. Half of the Collective got in on Thursday, and there were shenanigans, but I'm not going to talk about them now because I might be talking about them later. ANYWAY.
It sort of all feels like it was a million years ago, but it's only been about a week and a half. I spent all day getting ready for the wedding, but I wasn't stressed at all. Joe's coworkers told him that I was going to have at least one freakout before the wedding because, well, they don't know me at all. At one point, Joe offered to do something for me and I was all, "Yes!" and he was all, "Well, I wouldn't want you to have a freakout," and I was like, "So all I have to do to get you to do stuff I don't want to do is say I might freak out?" and he was like, "Um, no," and I was like, "Too late I didn't hear that part!" and that is a true story. But yeah, I was pretty calm all day. Without the aid of alcohol, I might add, aside from the small glass of champagne I drank with lunch.
Joe and I saw each other before the ceremony, since we did First Look pictures right away (while we looked as good as possible, heh) and wedding party pictures afterward. Then we all hung out in the back of the church together before the ceremony started, which was great, it was like we were waiting for guests to arrive for a party. Which...I guess we kind of were. I think I'm still processing the actual wedding ceremony, it was such a blur. I remember all the important stuff, of course, like the vows and the readings and the MUSIC* but I also remember the not-so-important things, like how damn hot it was in there and how much my damn feet hurt and OH MY GOD who knew bouquets of flowers could be so damn heavy?
I'm really struggling with how to write about all of this, you guys. I think I'm too close** or it's too soon or something...I don't know, but I'm having trouble not just being all, "OMG IT WAS SO FUN," because OMG IT WAS SO FUN. Except for the part where my dad made everyone cry, but that didn't last very long. Heh. We served trashy bar food for the "meal," which was really just appetizers, and I ate a plateful of jalapeno poppers and am not ashamed. Our cupcake display was...oh, you guys. Just...just here:
The people responsible for this magnificence, KT and Sam Jackson, have a bakery called Bombshell Bakeshop and, you know? They deserve their own post so I'll save all my gushing for later. Well, most of my gushing. I'm still sad that I only ate one cupcake that night, but it was the Choclatron, which looks like a Hostess cupcake and tastes ten times better. Sadly, there were none of those leftover.
Also! I think the mustaches were a hit:
As well as some of the games. I know Twister was put to good use:
As was the Scrabble game on our table, although unfortunately I don't have pictures of all the dirty words my friends spelled out on the board.
Best of all, I think, was the Hogwarts game that was sitting, of course, on The Collective table.
I think Heather! Anne! might be in love and one of my favorite moments was when someone (gee, I wonder who) brought Hogwarts out on the dance floor and everyone danced in a circle around it. I can't find a picture of this but I'm almost sure it happened. Granted, this was about the time that they closed the bar but that I remembered there was an entire bottle of wine on our table, and so obviously I grabbed it, took a swig directly from it, and proceeded to pass it around the dance floor. CLASSY.
The whole day was just so great, you guys, I get warm fuzzies whenever I think about it. There's only one thing that I would have changed. My grandma was unfortunately not able to make it, and she was most definitely missed. During the ceremony, I pretty easily held back any tears about to break through until the pastor mentioned my grandma, something none of us knew he was going to do, and I had to do, like, Lamaze breathing so I wouldn't start sobbing in front of everyone because DUDE.
I think my favorite part of the day, at least the reception, was just standing back at times and watching all of my favorite people have fun. And I'm so glad so many people took so many pictures (and that things like Flickr and Facebook exist), because it gave me a chance to see all the fun that I missed while I was having other fun.
Also, if your self-esteem is even close to the low side, I highly recommend having a wedding. It's like a rule that people have to say nice things to and about you ALL DAY LONG. Like, people told me I was pretty and funny the whole day, it was awesome. And it was really great for my ego. Or really bad for my ego. Probably the last one.
*which included music from Star Wars, Love Actually, Ben Folds, Jurassic Park, and Indiana Jones OBVIOUSLY
**Any takers for a guest post? Anyone? Hello?
I want to say so much about our wedding but I don't even know where to start. If I started listing all of my favorite moments, I'd never stop writing. The celebration actually started the Wednesday before the wedding, when I left work that afternoon with a SO LONG, SUCKERS and headed home for a blissful two week reprieve. Half of the Collective got in on Thursday, and there were shenanigans, but I'm not going to talk about them now because I might be talking about them later. ANYWAY.
It sort of all feels like it was a million years ago, but it's only been about a week and a half. I spent all day getting ready for the wedding, but I wasn't stressed at all. Joe's coworkers told him that I was going to have at least one freakout before the wedding because, well, they don't know me at all. At one point, Joe offered to do something for me and I was all, "Yes!" and he was all, "Well, I wouldn't want you to have a freakout," and I was like, "So all I have to do to get you to do stuff I don't want to do is say I might freak out?" and he was like, "Um, no," and I was like, "Too late I didn't hear that part!" and that is a true story. But yeah, I was pretty calm all day. Without the aid of alcohol, I might add, aside from the small glass of champagne I drank with lunch.
Joe and I saw each other before the ceremony, since we did First Look pictures right away (while we looked as good as possible, heh) and wedding party pictures afterward. Then we all hung out in the back of the church together before the ceremony started, which was great, it was like we were waiting for guests to arrive for a party. Which...I guess we kind of were. I think I'm still processing the actual wedding ceremony, it was such a blur. I remember all the important stuff, of course, like the vows and the readings and the MUSIC* but I also remember the not-so-important things, like how damn hot it was in there and how much my damn feet hurt and OH MY GOD who knew bouquets of flowers could be so damn heavy?
I'm really struggling with how to write about all of this, you guys. I think I'm too close** or it's too soon or something...I don't know, but I'm having trouble not just being all, "OMG IT WAS SO FUN," because OMG IT WAS SO FUN. Except for the part where my dad made everyone cry, but that didn't last very long. Heh. We served trashy bar food for the "meal," which was really just appetizers, and I ate a plateful of jalapeno poppers and am not ashamed. Our cupcake display was...oh, you guys. Just...just here:
The people responsible for this magnificence, KT and Sam Jackson, have a bakery called Bombshell Bakeshop and, you know? They deserve their own post so I'll save all my gushing for later. Well, most of my gushing. I'm still sad that I only ate one cupcake that night, but it was the Choclatron, which looks like a Hostess cupcake and tastes ten times better. Sadly, there were none of those leftover.
Also! I think the mustaches were a hit:
As well as some of the games. I know Twister was put to good use:
As was the Scrabble game on our table, although unfortunately I don't have pictures of all the dirty words my friends spelled out on the board.
Best of all, I think, was the Hogwarts game that was sitting, of course, on The Collective table.
I think Heather! Anne! might be in love and one of my favorite moments was when someone (gee, I wonder who) brought Hogwarts out on the dance floor and everyone danced in a circle around it. I can't find a picture of this but I'm almost sure it happened. Granted, this was about the time that they closed the bar but that I remembered there was an entire bottle of wine on our table, and so obviously I grabbed it, took a swig directly from it, and proceeded to pass it around the dance floor. CLASSY.
The whole day was just so great, you guys, I get warm fuzzies whenever I think about it. There's only one thing that I would have changed. My grandma was unfortunately not able to make it, and she was most definitely missed. During the ceremony, I pretty easily held back any tears about to break through until the pastor mentioned my grandma, something none of us knew he was going to do, and I had to do, like, Lamaze breathing so I wouldn't start sobbing in front of everyone because DUDE.
I think my favorite part of the day, at least the reception, was just standing back at times and watching all of my favorite people have fun. And I'm so glad so many people took so many pictures (and that things like Flickr and Facebook exist), because it gave me a chance to see all the fun that I missed while I was having other fun.
Also, if your self-esteem is even close to the low side, I highly recommend having a wedding. It's like a rule that people have to say nice things to and about you ALL DAY LONG. Like, people told me I was pretty and funny the whole day, it was awesome. And it was really great for my ego. Or really bad for my ego. Probably the last one.
*which included music from Star Wars, Love Actually, Ben Folds, Jurassic Park, and Indiana Jones OBVIOUSLY
**Any takers for a guest post? Anyone? Hello?
Monday, September 13, 2010
still breezy
Firstlies, I would like to say thank you to everyone who said nice things about Joe and I (or to Joe and I) last week on The Collective. AND I would like to say thank you to whoever is responsible for the internet and also blogging because my life would be so, so completely different without both of those things. Like, stupid different, not good different.
I started blogging in 2003 (on Diaryland...yes, Diaryland) and if you had told me then that A) I'd be getting married in 7 years and B) I would be marrying someone I met on the internet and C) I would meet some of my BFFs on said internet AND they'd be coming to my wedding, I would have told you to back up your crazy face before I punched it. Which is rude, yes, but I am much more polite now than I used to be.
I have to admit, I feel ahead of the game when it comes to the whole "meeting people on the internet" thing. I became good friends with someone on the internet in high school, because of a TV show of all things, and we met each other back when everyone thought it was dangerous to meet anyone you met online, on account of YOU WILL GET MURDERED IN THE FACE WITH A SHARP, SHARP AXE. Well. I did not get murdered in the face, obviously, which is maybe why I had no worries whatsoever the first time I met The Collective on that Thanksgiving of miracles a few years ago.
I think my attitude toward meeting internet peoples is pretty cavalier. I never worried (much) about being axe murdered, as much as I joked about it. I even took my life into my own hands and tried internet dating, multiple times, in different mediums, but I think I can safely say at this point (after much reflection, believe you me) that my heart wasn't really in it until I met Joe.
We're getting married on Saturday and I'm trying my best to concentrate on the task(s) at hand, all work-related, until Wednesday at 5 when I leave work and don't come back for a week and a half. I'm almost as excited about that as I am to marry Joe. Almost. Mostly I'm just glad he didn't bring an axe on our first date, otherwise I think my life would look very different right now.
I started blogging in 2003 (on Diaryland...yes, Diaryland) and if you had told me then that A) I'd be getting married in 7 years and B) I would be marrying someone I met on the internet and C) I would meet some of my BFFs on said internet AND they'd be coming to my wedding, I would have told you to back up your crazy face before I punched it. Which is rude, yes, but I am much more polite now than I used to be.
I have to admit, I feel ahead of the game when it comes to the whole "meeting people on the internet" thing. I became good friends with someone on the internet in high school, because of a TV show of all things, and we met each other back when everyone thought it was dangerous to meet anyone you met online, on account of YOU WILL GET MURDERED IN THE FACE WITH A SHARP, SHARP AXE. Well. I did not get murdered in the face, obviously, which is maybe why I had no worries whatsoever the first time I met The Collective on that Thanksgiving of miracles a few years ago.
I think my attitude toward meeting internet peoples is pretty cavalier. I never worried (much) about being axe murdered, as much as I joked about it. I even took my life into my own hands and tried internet dating, multiple times, in different mediums, but I think I can safely say at this point (after much reflection, believe you me) that my heart wasn't really in it until I met Joe.
We're getting married on Saturday and I'm trying my best to concentrate on the task(s) at hand, all work-related, until Wednesday at 5 when I leave work and don't come back for a week and a half. I'm almost as excited about that as I am to marry Joe. Almost. Mostly I'm just glad he didn't bring an axe on our first date, otherwise I think my life would look very different right now.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
You can't say you're breezy, that totally negates the breezy!
DUDES. You guys. It's September. That means I am getting married this month, which makes me happier than Heather Anne Hogan with a hoverboard, if that's possible, and I'm not sure it is.
(Speaking of Heather Anne Hogan, she's blogging again. I know. I KNOW. I peed my pants, too.)
So, anyway, it's September 1st, which means I'm getting married in 17 days, which is AWESOME because it means I can stop talking and thinking about wedding stuff soon. HELL YES. Soon I will be able to concentrate on more important things, like Max. And Joe, I suppose. Heh.
This morning as I flipped the calendar to September, I asked Joe at what point I was supposed to start getting really stressed.
"Now?" he said and I laughed because, you guys, I'M TOTALLY BREEZY. I mean, I'm excited, of course, but I cannot think of one detail that I'm really worried about because you know what? It's out of my hands. I can't control the weather. I can't control the airlines. I'm not worried about whether the napkins perfectly match the...whatever, I don't even know what they need to match. I'm not worried about the flowers or the centerpieces or whether the church looks perfect or even whether I look perfect. SUCK IT, WEDDING INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
Sure, there are some things I can control, but I'm not worried about them. My dress is fine, my hair appointment is booked, and all of our stuff is gathered. Stuff like board games and magnetized Scrabble tiles and fake mustaches and GUESS WHAT BITCHES? We have all of it. I don't want to brag, but we are so ready. I'm sure that will come back and bite me in the ass at some point, but I don't care. TAKE A BIG BITE, UNIVERSE, because in three weeks I will be somewhere tropical, sipping a cocktail, and laughing with MY HUSBAND JOE over a poop joke one of us made.
Last night, I started half-assing the placecards because if there's anything to half-ass, it's the placecards. We bought some at Target and I'm writing all the names because, I don't know, I like handwriting stuff? Does that make sense? Sometimes I miss being in school because I don't get to take notes much anymore (not even in meetings because nothing important ever happens in meetings where I work) and I LOVE taking notes. I should start handwriting my first drafts of everything but that sounds like a lot of work so I probably won't do it.
Anyway, let's talk about more interesting things LIKE MAX. He's still being SO GOOD even though he really doesn't like going in his cage. But that could be because we have to put this inflatable donut thing around his neck so he doesn't lick his ball-removal stitches all day long while we're not home. I'm sure he'll get over it. Right? Please say yes.
He and Phoebe are still getting along, if you can call it that. She is a tiny bit braver around him, meaning she waits 10 seconds to run away from him instead of 5 seconds, and he still just walks right by her without noticing her. Maybe he is cat blind. Or maybe Phoebe knows how to invisible herself! PHOEBE IS A SUPERHERO. I wonder if she has a cape and if so, if she'd let me borrow it. Or if it would even fit. She has a tiny neck. Tinier than Max's and I know my neck is just slightly bigger than Max's because I tried on his e-collar and it didn't fit but only barely.
Um. Yeah. Maybe the wedding planning is good for me, because without it, I apparently have way too much time on my hands.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
You have a baby. In a BAR.
You guys, I have the Tigger song stuck in my head and I don't know why. It's driving me crazy because that might be the most annoying song ever, except for maybe the Barney song which was used as torture in The Men Who Stare at Goats FOR GOOD RAISIN.
Anyway. Last night, we went to an advanced screening of Scott Pilgrim because Joe got free tickets because OF COURSE HE DID. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say I super enjoyed it times 10. I'm not sure what I would have thought if I hadn't read the books, but I feel like it would have still been enjoyable. There were plenty of lols and my only complaint is that the people behind us had obviously never even heard of Scott Pilgrim because they spent the majority of the movie saying things like, "wut...," "that doesn't make sense," and, "huuuuuuuuuuh?" and I hated them and wanted them to leave but they didn't because who passes up a free movie? Not those people. I really wanted to murder them in the face, you guys, but I didn't because I also really wanted to see the whole movie.
It was an incredibly well-cast movie, from Young Neil to Roxy Richter, although I wasn't too impressed with whatserface who played Ramona Flowers. I could look it up but I don't feel like it, so you do it. I think her name is Mary Something Something. Have fun, detectives.
This week seems really busy and I'm not sure why, other than I don't normally go to the movies on a Tuesday. I haven't worked out at all this week, but I have managed to not eat a bunch of junk food for every meal, so that's a win win (win). However, my bridal shower is this weekend and all bets are off because there will be snacks. And drinks. Because my bridal shower is IN A BAR. THAT'S RIGHT. Wishes really do come true.
Anyway. Last night, we went to an advanced screening of Scott Pilgrim because Joe got free tickets because OF COURSE HE DID. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say I super enjoyed it times 10. I'm not sure what I would have thought if I hadn't read the books, but I feel like it would have still been enjoyable. There were plenty of lols and my only complaint is that the people behind us had obviously never even heard of Scott Pilgrim because they spent the majority of the movie saying things like, "wut...," "that doesn't make sense," and, "huuuuuuuuuuh?" and I hated them and wanted them to leave but they didn't because who passes up a free movie? Not those people. I really wanted to murder them in the face, you guys, but I didn't because I also really wanted to see the whole movie.
It was an incredibly well-cast movie, from Young Neil to Roxy Richter, although I wasn't too impressed with whatserface who played Ramona Flowers. I could look it up but I don't feel like it, so you do it. I think her name is Mary Something Something. Have fun, detectives.
This week seems really busy and I'm not sure why, other than I don't normally go to the movies on a Tuesday. I haven't worked out at all this week, but I have managed to not eat a bunch of junk food for every meal, so that's a win win (win). However, my bridal shower is this weekend and all bets are off because there will be snacks. And drinks. Because my bridal shower is IN A BAR. THAT'S RIGHT. Wishes really do come true.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Remember that show The Pretender? I loved that show. Good story, Jennie, tell it again.
Sometimes I wish I could time travel just to go back in time and punch Past!Jennie in the face.
Three Hole Punch Steve got married this weekend. The ceremony was at Wittenberg, as both the bride and groom went to Witt, and many college friends descended upon the campus. As we were waiting for the ceremony to start, I was struck by this weird thought or feeling or...I don't know, but it is WEIRD to see us all coupling off and getting married. We who used to streak the hollow. We who once snuck into the sorority house snack closet through a window above the locked door just to get ramen noodles. We who scaled a fence to go swimming at 4 AM. We who once (twice!) walked to Lake Michigan from Mary's apartment with a case of beer to watch the sunrise, chase joggers through the park, go to IHOP, then sleep a couple of hours and go out and do it all over again. How are those people ALLOWED to get married? I still feel like I'm pretending to be an adult most of the time. Does that ever go away?
Anyway, what that all means is I didn't do a very good job at pretending I'm an adult on Saturday. I mean, I acted like an adult because you have to be an adult to buy alcohol but I didn't act like a RESPONSIBLE adult. Which is fine. Being responsible all the time is highly overrated. Except, not really. Who wants to be responsible all the time? If I was responsible all the time, then I wouldn't be able to watch three episodes of Veronica Mars in one evening or eat a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast or, I don't know, have any fun ever.
It was a fun wedding, although I'm pretty sure we were seated in the troublemaker section. That's OK, it just proves that Steve A) knows us well and is B) smart. For instance. There were bottles of wine on all of the tables that I guess were meant to use for the toasts, only we drank ours right away and there was only a tiny bit left for toast time. Oops. I don't know what else to say about the reception, other than the food was yummy and there was dancing and laughing and GENERAL MERRIMENT and I now have a picture of Joe and Steve slow dancing.
I also have a picture of like, the million beers we all drank, which made getting up early on Sunday SUPER FUN. That always sucks because for one thing, you feel like arse and for ANOTHER thing, you have no one but yourself to blame. Except I sort of blame Miguel on account of any time anyone has less than a half a cup of beer, he was all, "YOU NEED A REFILL!" If that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster, I don't know what does.
Three Hole Punch Steve got married this weekend. The ceremony was at Wittenberg, as both the bride and groom went to Witt, and many college friends descended upon the campus. As we were waiting for the ceremony to start, I was struck by this weird thought or feeling or...I don't know, but it is WEIRD to see us all coupling off and getting married. We who used to streak the hollow. We who once snuck into the sorority house snack closet through a window above the locked door just to get ramen noodles. We who scaled a fence to go swimming at 4 AM. We who once (twice!) walked to Lake Michigan from Mary's apartment with a case of beer to watch the sunrise, chase joggers through the park, go to IHOP, then sleep a couple of hours and go out and do it all over again. How are those people ALLOWED to get married? I still feel like I'm pretending to be an adult most of the time. Does that ever go away?
Anyway, what that all means is I didn't do a very good job at pretending I'm an adult on Saturday. I mean, I acted like an adult because you have to be an adult to buy alcohol but I didn't act like a RESPONSIBLE adult. Which is fine. Being responsible all the time is highly overrated. Except, not really. Who wants to be responsible all the time? If I was responsible all the time, then I wouldn't be able to watch three episodes of Veronica Mars in one evening or eat a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast or, I don't know, have any fun ever.
It was a fun wedding, although I'm pretty sure we were seated in the troublemaker section. That's OK, it just proves that Steve A) knows us well and is B) smart. For instance. There were bottles of wine on all of the tables that I guess were meant to use for the toasts, only we drank ours right away and there was only a tiny bit left for toast time. Oops. I don't know what else to say about the reception, other than the food was yummy and there was dancing and laughing and GENERAL MERRIMENT and I now have a picture of Joe and Steve slow dancing.
I also have a picture of like, the million beers we all drank, which made getting up early on Sunday SUPER FUN. That always sucks because for one thing, you feel like arse and for ANOTHER thing, you have no one but yourself to blame. Except I sort of blame Miguel on account of any time anyone has less than a half a cup of beer, he was all, "YOU NEED A REFILL!" If that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster, I don't know what does.
Friday, July 30, 2010
i'm sensitive and i'd like to stay that way
Yeah, I just quoted Jewel. So? I loved the shit out of Jewel in high school. What, I can have layers.
My point is this: I don't have one. But seriously, folks, I know I say a lot that I'm a robot with no feelings but for a robot with no feelings, I can get awful weepy sometimes.
So we picked out our songs for the weddings, right? You know the ones. The first dance and father/daughter and mother/son songs. TRADITION. Or whatever. Joe hasn't picked out the mother/son song yet. It's really hard (twss) to pick out songs for the father/daughter and mother/son dances that don't sound kind of creepy and really inappropriate. Anyway, since I'm the weepy type, I'm a little worried that I will spend most of the wedding day fighting off tears. I'm trying to combat this by listening to the first dance and father/daughter songs over and over to desensitize myself to them. I just started this project and so far it's not really working, which is why I almost started crying in the car this morning while listening to the father/daughter song and then I was all, "Suck it up, Baxla, PLAY LIKE A CHAMPION."
In other wedding news, the fake mustaches were delivered yesterday. It was actually a pretty good mail day. Joe got some toys, I got the mustaches and a bag of 400 Scrabble tiles (don't ask), we got some more RSVPs, and our first wedding present. Wheeeeeeeee! Anyway, I was so, so excited for the mustaches, you guys, and they look SO GOOD. I sort of hope not everyone takes one at the reception so there are some leftover and I can keep them and take them to parties and people will be like, "who is that sassy girl with the mustache?" and I'll be like, "it's me, bitches!" only not really because that's not very nice. Anyway. When Joe got home, I greeted him at the door like THIS which is probably kind of scary to see first thing when you walk through the door but oh well. And then this happened:
Me: I took a picture of myself with a fake mustache and put it on Facebook!
Joe: Haha, nice.
Me: It's pretty much the first thing I did after I opened the box.
Joe: Well, of course.
Me: I mean, what else would a perso do?
Joe: It's true, I think the order goes: get fake mustache, find camera, take picture, Facebook.
Me: Truth.
I don't think it happened exactly like that but I can't remember. Can you blame me? My brain is all fuzzy from fake mustache joy.
My point is this: I don't have one. But seriously, folks, I know I say a lot that I'm a robot with no feelings but for a robot with no feelings, I can get awful weepy sometimes.
So we picked out our songs for the weddings, right? You know the ones. The first dance and father/daughter and mother/son songs. TRADITION. Or whatever. Joe hasn't picked out the mother/son song yet. It's really hard (twss) to pick out songs for the father/daughter and mother/son dances that don't sound kind of creepy and really inappropriate. Anyway, since I'm the weepy type, I'm a little worried that I will spend most of the wedding day fighting off tears. I'm trying to combat this by listening to the first dance and father/daughter songs over and over to desensitize myself to them. I just started this project and so far it's not really working, which is why I almost started crying in the car this morning while listening to the father/daughter song and then I was all, "Suck it up, Baxla, PLAY LIKE A CHAMPION."
In other wedding news, the fake mustaches were delivered yesterday. It was actually a pretty good mail day. Joe got some toys, I got the mustaches and a bag of 400 Scrabble tiles (don't ask), we got some more RSVPs, and our first wedding present. Wheeeeeeeee! Anyway, I was so, so excited for the mustaches, you guys, and they look SO GOOD. I sort of hope not everyone takes one at the reception so there are some leftover and I can keep them and take them to parties and people will be like, "who is that sassy girl with the mustache?" and I'll be like, "it's me, bitches!" only not really because that's not very nice. Anyway. When Joe got home, I greeted him at the door like THIS which is probably kind of scary to see first thing when you walk through the door but oh well. And then this happened:
Me: I took a picture of myself with a fake mustache and put it on Facebook!
Joe: Haha, nice.
Me: It's pretty much the first thing I did after I opened the box.
Joe: Well, of course.
Me: I mean, what else would a perso do?
Joe: It's true, I think the order goes: get fake mustache, find camera, take picture, Facebook.
Me: Truth.
I don't think it happened exactly like that but I can't remember. Can you blame me? My brain is all fuzzy from fake mustache joy.
Monday, July 26, 2010
only I didn't say fudge
We went to wedding two (of five! or six, you know, if I count my own) this past weekend, a weekend that was PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL to a weekend two weeks ago, only like ten degrees hotter and a hell of a lot more humid.
The wedding was in Cleveland, meaning it was time to visit the house from A Christmas Story. We were up bright and early on Saturday, mostly because when I woke up, I was all, "RED RYDER BB GUN!" and wouldn't go back to sleep. I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time because not only can you tour the Christmas Story house OH NO, there is also a museum with props. And actual actors from the movie, we found out. There is also a gift shop, which is where we had to buy our tickets. Yes, we had to buy tickets. You guys. It was the best $8 I ever spent, not counting the $8 of the $10 I paid to get into Dinosaur World that one time. And THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.
So anyway, when we got there, we perused the gift shop for a bit and then headed over to the museum since we had some time to kill before our tour. The museum was pretty deserted, except for this tiny woman sitting in a chair in the corner with a small table in front of her. I tried not to make eye contact because I don't like making awkward small talk with strangers, but as we walked by she was all, "do you recognize me from the movie?" Not wanting to be rude, I replied with a clever, "ummmmm," because I had no idea who she was. Then she pointed to the picture lying on the table in front of her and YOU GUYS she was one of the evil elves from the department store Santa land.
We also met the guy who delivers the leg lamp to Ralphie's house. He actually lived on the street and was so nice and earnest that I felt bad when we had to leave in the middle of his story about why the FRAGILE box said "his end up" instead of "this end up." But I didn't feel THAT bad because OH MY GOD YOU GUYS A CHRISTMAS STORY HOUSE IRL.
They made us stand outside for a while and the tour guide gave us some history of the house and the movie. This sucked for two reasons. 1) It was hotter than balls outside (Satan's balls, even) and 2) WHY WOULDN'T THEY LET ME INSIDE?! It was OK for a minute, though, because Joe pointed out a fuzzy, yellow caterpillar that was crawling on the porch.
When they finally let us in, a bunch of people swarmed over to where Ian "I Can't Put My Arms Down" Petrella was standing but I had my priorities in order and I went straight to the kitchen to climb in Randy's cupboard. Obviously. And then Joe and I went upstairs while everyone else was preoccupied watching Randy show them how the piggies eat and so we were the first to see Ralphie's decoded message, the soap that made Ralphie go blind, and Ralphie's theme.
You know what's ridiculous? I don't remember seeing the Red Ryder BB Gun. WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
The wedding was in Cleveland, meaning it was time to visit the house from A Christmas Story. We were up bright and early on Saturday, mostly because when I woke up, I was all, "RED RYDER BB GUN!" and wouldn't go back to sleep. I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time because not only can you tour the Christmas Story house OH NO, there is also a museum with props. And actual actors from the movie, we found out. There is also a gift shop, which is where we had to buy our tickets. Yes, we had to buy tickets. You guys. It was the best $8 I ever spent, not counting the $8 of the $10 I paid to get into Dinosaur World that one time. And THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.
So anyway, when we got there, we perused the gift shop for a bit and then headed over to the museum since we had some time to kill before our tour. The museum was pretty deserted, except for this tiny woman sitting in a chair in the corner with a small table in front of her. I tried not to make eye contact because I don't like making awkward small talk with strangers, but as we walked by she was all, "do you recognize me from the movie?" Not wanting to be rude, I replied with a clever, "ummmmm," because I had no idea who she was. Then she pointed to the picture lying on the table in front of her and YOU GUYS she was one of the evil elves from the department store Santa land.
We also met the guy who delivers the leg lamp to Ralphie's house. He actually lived on the street and was so nice and earnest that I felt bad when we had to leave in the middle of his story about why the FRAGILE box said "his end up" instead of "this end up." But I didn't feel THAT bad because OH MY GOD YOU GUYS A CHRISTMAS STORY HOUSE IRL.
They made us stand outside for a while and the tour guide gave us some history of the house and the movie. This sucked for two reasons. 1) It was hotter than balls outside (Satan's balls, even) and 2) WHY WOULDN'T THEY LET ME INSIDE?! It was OK for a minute, though, because Joe pointed out a fuzzy, yellow caterpillar that was crawling on the porch.
When they finally let us in, a bunch of people swarmed over to where Ian "I Can't Put My Arms Down" Petrella was standing but I had my priorities in order and I went straight to the kitchen to climb in Randy's cupboard. Obviously. And then Joe and I went upstairs while everyone else was preoccupied watching Randy show them how the piggies eat and so we were the first to see Ralphie's decoded message, the soap that made Ralphie go blind, and Ralphie's theme.
You know what's ridiculous? I don't remember seeing the Red Ryder BB Gun. WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
The heat is finally breaking a bit, I think, and by breaking I mean it's only supposed to be like 90 today so I brought my parka to work with me. I hope it cools down just a teeny bit more before Saturday because we're going to a wedding and I doubt the bride and groom want to melt because I sure don't want to melt, so how about you turn the heat down a little, Mother Nature? Thank you in advance.
Wedding season, it would seem, is upon us, beginning this weekend and culminating with Kat's non-wedding in October. I think our wedding is in there somewhere but who can remember these things. I keep having these moments where I momentarily freak out and think I should be doing something wedding-related, which, I don't know, maybe I should, but then I think about what's left to do and there's not a lot. The only truly necessary thing left to do is print and send the invitations, everything else is just an idea at this point and if those ideas stay in my head, well, that's just fine.
It's strange how the wedding plans keep changing. We were initially going to get married in this cute little park, but because I'd, you know, kind of like my grandma to be in attendance, we had to scrap those plans and get married inside instead. Which is fine. Now we're getting married in the same church my parents got married in, which is the same church my grandparents got married in, and as cynical as I am, even I have to admit that's pretty cool.
Another plan was to invite only immediate family to the ceremony, and everyone else to the reception. This turned out to be more difficult than anticipated when we realized that we like a lot of people who don't happen to TECHNICALLY be immediate family, so last night we were all, "fuck it, let's invite everyone to everything." And then we ate teriyaki turkey burgers.
Who knows what else will change before September? I can't say I even care anymore, because at the end of the day, Joe and I will be married and I'm pretty sure that's the point of the day. I could be wrong, though, I've never gotten married before.
Wedding season, it would seem, is upon us, beginning this weekend and culminating with Kat's non-wedding in October. I think our wedding is in there somewhere but who can remember these things. I keep having these moments where I momentarily freak out and think I should be doing something wedding-related, which, I don't know, maybe I should, but then I think about what's left to do and there's not a lot. The only truly necessary thing left to do is print and send the invitations, everything else is just an idea at this point and if those ideas stay in my head, well, that's just fine.
It's strange how the wedding plans keep changing. We were initially going to get married in this cute little park, but because I'd, you know, kind of like my grandma to be in attendance, we had to scrap those plans and get married inside instead. Which is fine. Now we're getting married in the same church my parents got married in, which is the same church my grandparents got married in, and as cynical as I am, even I have to admit that's pretty cool.
Another plan was to invite only immediate family to the ceremony, and everyone else to the reception. This turned out to be more difficult than anticipated when we realized that we like a lot of people who don't happen to TECHNICALLY be immediate family, so last night we were all, "fuck it, let's invite everyone to everything." And then we ate teriyaki turkey burgers.
Who knows what else will change before September? I can't say I even care anymore, because at the end of the day, Joe and I will be married and I'm pretty sure that's the point of the day. I could be wrong, though, I've never gotten married before.
Monday, June 28, 2010
It was just like say yes to the dress except I didn't spend $5000 and I (surprisingly) didn't want to stab myself in the eye
I didn't mention to anyone other than Joe and Heidi and my mom (because it wasn't really a big deal) but there was some wedding dress drama last week. Drama is too strong a word, really, because it implies tears and yelling and rending of garments, and there was none of that. It was more like wedding dress meh. Like, the wedding dress I ordered months ago finally came in, I tried it on, looked in the mirror and thought, "huh...that looks like ass." Then I took it off, started looking up dresses online, and the next day we boxed it up and shipped it far, far away.
Which meant I had to go shopping. Like, non-online shopping. Because the wedding is definitely less than three months away, I couldn't procrastinate anymore which is a shame because procrastinating is what I do best. I went to a bunch of non-wedding stores looking for a formalish white dress and found NOTHING. I didn't even find anything to try on. I went TO THE MALL for no reason. I hate the mall.
I tried to comfort myself by going into the pet store because, you know, puppies, but it really just ended up making me sad because of puppy mills and the puppies lying in cages looking at me with their forlorn eyes. They had this little poofball puppy out roaming the store, and when I bent down to pet it I wondered what would happen if I just scooped it into my arms and made a break for it. But then it peed all over the floor so I real quick ran away because what if I got in trouble? I told Joe this later and he looked at me incredulously (like always) and was all, "Jennie. You are a GROWN UP" and I was like, "Shut up with your lies!"
Anyway. This is all leading me to my real point (huh?) which is that I had to go to a for real bridal store yesterday. I refuse to call it a boutique. Whatever. When I realized I'd have to go to one of these places, a great wave of despair washed over me, like I was being swarmed by dementors. Dementors wearing big poofy princessy dresses and they were smothering me with taffeta and crinoline and I CAN'T BREATHE GET THEM OFF ME.
Ahem. It was not, however, all that bad. And that's coming from someone who doesn't even like going regular shopping. Which is not to say it wasn't a strange experience.
Picking out dresses was easy enough, although I had a better time making fun of the ugly ones with Heidi. But when it was time to start trying stuff on, the bridal store lady (hereafter referred to as BL) was all, "OK, what size bra do you wear?" which is kind of a personal question considering we'd just met. I usually like to know someone at least twenty minutes before I give out that information. I gave her a funny look and she explained that they'd provide a strapless bra (that actually resembled a corset) so the dresses would look better. I honestly didn't think it'd matter since most of the dresses I'd picked out were the wrong size ANYWAY but who am I to argue with a professional?
So she gave me the bra and said, "Put that on and tell me when you're done. I'll come in to help you try on the dresses," and I was all, "say what now?" because I don't normally invite people in the dressing room with me. Apparently it's like a rule, though, so soon I was standing in the dressing room in my underwear and the most uncomfortable bra EVER while two women I'd just met maneuvered dress after dress over my head. It was actually kind of nice because I didn't have to do any thinking and if there's anything I hate more than trying on clothes, it's thinking. Or something. Never mind.
I tried on about eight million dresses (give or take a million) and decided to get the last one I'd tried on, mostly because I liked it but partly so I didn't have to try on any more dresses. And everyone who worked there was very nice, but I almost had to punch one of them in the babymaker after this happened:
BL: Which dress are you getting?
Me: The last one.
BL: Oh, good! I saw the sparkle in your eye when you tried it on.
Me [in my head]: STFU.
Instead I just physically backed my way out of the conversation and wandered over to my mom, sister, and Heidi, who were giggling over a hair accessory that looked like a UFO. They are totally my people.
Which meant I had to go shopping. Like, non-online shopping. Because the wedding is definitely less than three months away, I couldn't procrastinate anymore which is a shame because procrastinating is what I do best. I went to a bunch of non-wedding stores looking for a formalish white dress and found NOTHING. I didn't even find anything to try on. I went TO THE MALL for no reason. I hate the mall.
I tried to comfort myself by going into the pet store because, you know, puppies, but it really just ended up making me sad because of puppy mills and the puppies lying in cages looking at me with their forlorn eyes. They had this little poofball puppy out roaming the store, and when I bent down to pet it I wondered what would happen if I just scooped it into my arms and made a break for it. But then it peed all over the floor so I real quick ran away because what if I got in trouble? I told Joe this later and he looked at me incredulously (like always) and was all, "Jennie. You are a GROWN UP" and I was like, "Shut up with your lies!"
Anyway. This is all leading me to my real point (huh?) which is that I had to go to a for real bridal store yesterday. I refuse to call it a boutique. Whatever. When I realized I'd have to go to one of these places, a great wave of despair washed over me, like I was being swarmed by dementors. Dementors wearing big poofy princessy dresses and they were smothering me with taffeta and crinoline and I CAN'T BREATHE GET THEM OFF ME.
Ahem. It was not, however, all that bad. And that's coming from someone who doesn't even like going regular shopping. Which is not to say it wasn't a strange experience.
Picking out dresses was easy enough, although I had a better time making fun of the ugly ones with Heidi. But when it was time to start trying stuff on, the bridal store lady (hereafter referred to as BL) was all, "OK, what size bra do you wear?" which is kind of a personal question considering we'd just met. I usually like to know someone at least twenty minutes before I give out that information. I gave her a funny look and she explained that they'd provide a strapless bra (that actually resembled a corset) so the dresses would look better. I honestly didn't think it'd matter since most of the dresses I'd picked out were the wrong size ANYWAY but who am I to argue with a professional?
So she gave me the bra and said, "Put that on and tell me when you're done. I'll come in to help you try on the dresses," and I was all, "say what now?" because I don't normally invite people in the dressing room with me. Apparently it's like a rule, though, so soon I was standing in the dressing room in my underwear and the most uncomfortable bra EVER while two women I'd just met maneuvered dress after dress over my head. It was actually kind of nice because I didn't have to do any thinking and if there's anything I hate more than trying on clothes, it's thinking. Or something. Never mind.
I tried on about eight million dresses (give or take a million) and decided to get the last one I'd tried on, mostly because I liked it but partly so I didn't have to try on any more dresses. And everyone who worked there was very nice, but I almost had to punch one of them in the babymaker after this happened:
BL: Which dress are you getting?
Me: The last one.
BL: Oh, good! I saw the sparkle in your eye when you tried it on.
Me [in my head]: STFU.
Instead I just physically backed my way out of the conversation and wandered over to my mom, sister, and Heidi, who were giggling over a hair accessory that looked like a UFO. They are totally my people.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
wedding question: feel free to skip (real post coming soon, I promise)
So, like, I'm pretty sure I don't want a traditional wedding dress. I don't want some long train thing I'm just going to trip over all night (um, hi, I'm clumsy). I'm worried about looking for a dress at the Big Name Wedding Dress Chains because I either won't find what I want or it'll be wicked expensive and HELLO I'm only going to wear it one day, unless I get bored or something some Sunday afternoon and decide to wear it while I do laundry but ANYWAY I DIGRESS.
My question is: what's the deal with buying wedding dresses online? Is it dangerous? Not like someone will stab you dangerous, but like you just paid a bunch of money for something that looks like a Kmart Halloween costume dangerous. Do you know anyone who has done that, with good results?
OK thanks (in advance) for solving my problems for me, Internets. Again.
My question is: what's the deal with buying wedding dresses online? Is it dangerous? Not like someone will stab you dangerous, but like you just paid a bunch of money for something that looks like a Kmart Halloween costume dangerous. Do you know anyone who has done that, with good results?
OK thanks (in advance) for solving my problems for me, Internets. Again.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
OK, smartie, go to a party
Oh, hi! Guess what? It turns out that working full-time really puts a dent in my Doing Nothing time. It's unfortunate. Those 12 days I had off of work were BEAUTIFUL. I finally had time to do all the reading/movie-watching/internet-surfing I wanted. No stress! I think it's high time someone started paying me to Do Nothing professionally because I'm really good at it.
Then work started again and I'm all exhausted by the time I get home. I have an entirely new workload because of some reorganization that went on at the end of last year and it's much more stressful than my old workload. Still. It's also more fun than my old workload, so that's something. I'm sure I'll be used to it soon.
My main dilemma today is that I've been listening to the Glee soundtrack all day (between conference calls) and do you know how hard it is not to sing along with Somebody to Love? Turns out? Really hard. I am biting my tongue, FOR REALSIES.
I also have a wedding dilemma that I would like some help with. I guess it's not really a dilemma, I don't think. I could just use some suggestions and you guys are good with the suggestion-making.
BEFORE I ask anything, let me promise that I will not be forcing you to read about my wedding planning for the next nine months. Partly because my goal is to do things as low-stress as possible, and if something starts causing me stress, I will cut it. I WILL CUT IT SO HARD. Anyway. Mostly I won't be sharing all of my wedding planning because there is nothing more boring than listening to someone blather on about their wedding YEAH I SAID IT and also I just fell asleep a little. I promise to keep the blathering to a minimum.
So. We think we're having a later reception, with heavy appetizers for everyone in the beginning, between all the booze and dancing. This is mainly so we don't have to pick out main dishes and side dishes and salads and all that because everyone knows appetizers are more fun. Also, I hate the sit-down dinner part of weddings. I'm always sitting there like, "when is the fun stuff going to start?"
Anyway, so that's my longass explanation of why we're not doing a sit-down dinner. Well. My friend Nancy did the heavy appetizer thing, too, and then around 10:30 brought out a magical hot dog bar for everyone to drunkenly pig out on because YUM HOT DOG BAR. We want to do something like this, but are having trouble figuring out what kind of food bar to do.
Heidi suggested serving mashed potatoes out of champagne flutes with lots of toppings for people to choose from. I love this idea because my lifelong dream is to eat an entire meal of mashed potatoes and that comes pretty close. The catering lady suggested a Skyline bar, but since I think Skyline tastes like evil and smells even worse, that's out. I like the idea of a pizza bar, because how delicious is pizza at 10:30 PM after you've had (more than) a few drinks? So good!
Whatever, my point is, please give me some other ideas.
kthxbai lylas
Then work started again and I'm all exhausted by the time I get home. I have an entirely new workload because of some reorganization that went on at the end of last year and it's much more stressful than my old workload. Still. It's also more fun than my old workload, so that's something. I'm sure I'll be used to it soon.
My main dilemma today is that I've been listening to the Glee soundtrack all day (between conference calls) and do you know how hard it is not to sing along with Somebody to Love? Turns out? Really hard. I am biting my tongue, FOR REALSIES.
I also have a wedding dilemma that I would like some help with. I guess it's not really a dilemma, I don't think. I could just use some suggestions and you guys are good with the suggestion-making.
BEFORE I ask anything, let me promise that I will not be forcing you to read about my wedding planning for the next nine months. Partly because my goal is to do things as low-stress as possible, and if something starts causing me stress, I will cut it. I WILL CUT IT SO HARD. Anyway. Mostly I won't be sharing all of my wedding planning because there is nothing more boring than listening to someone blather on about their wedding YEAH I SAID IT and also I just fell asleep a little. I promise to keep the blathering to a minimum.
So. We think we're having a later reception, with heavy appetizers for everyone in the beginning, between all the booze and dancing. This is mainly so we don't have to pick out main dishes and side dishes and salads and all that because everyone knows appetizers are more fun. Also, I hate the sit-down dinner part of weddings. I'm always sitting there like, "when is the fun stuff going to start?"
Anyway, so that's my longass explanation of why we're not doing a sit-down dinner. Well. My friend Nancy did the heavy appetizer thing, too, and then around 10:30 brought out a magical hot dog bar for everyone to drunkenly pig out on because YUM HOT DOG BAR. We want to do something like this, but are having trouble figuring out what kind of food bar to do.
Heidi suggested serving mashed potatoes out of champagne flutes with lots of toppings for people to choose from. I love this idea because my lifelong dream is to eat an entire meal of mashed potatoes and that comes pretty close. The catering lady suggested a Skyline bar, but since I think Skyline tastes like evil and smells even worse, that's out. I like the idea of a pizza bar, because how delicious is pizza at 10:30 PM after you've had (more than) a few drinks? So good!
Whatever, my point is, please give me some other ideas.
kthxbai lylas
Friday, December 18, 2009
In this house we obey the law of thermodynamics!
I'm not sure how it's possible, you know, in terms of the laws of space and time or whatever, but somehow this week has both lasted 14 years and flown by. What is that? In any case, I'm thanking my lucky stars that it's finally Friday and that I only work three days next week and then I am off of work for 11 glorious days. IN A ROW, even. That hasn't happened in...I don't even know how long. I'm excited, is what I'm saying.
I'm also excited for this weekend and I will tell you why. THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS. Ahem. First of all, we are going out to dinner with Three Hole Punch Steve and his fiancee tonight. Did I tell you that Three Hole Punch Steve got engaged? Because he did. And his fiancee is wicked awesome.
And then tomorrow is Christmas with my dad's side of the family, which should be loud and insane (read: fun) as usual. I'm pretty excited to give out the presents I got for people. It's good that Christmas is next week because I wrapped all of my gifts early this year (whaaaaaa?!?) and right now they're sort of spread out all over the apartment. Except for Joe's, Joe's are hidden where he can't see them. Mwaahaahaa!
AND THEN! Jon and Lampl are coming over tomorrow night! Hooray! It's been 69 years since we've seen them and I'm so excited. They're probably not quite as excited, because as fun as Heidi and I are, they ARE leaving warm, sunny Florida for cold, gloomy (possibly snowy) Ohio. I would feel sorry for them, but I'm pretty sure Lampl went to the beach earlier this week so I don't feel that bad.
I just hope I can stay awake for all of it. I think all the excitement of the week caught up to me yesterday, and last night I fell asleep in bed reading. I woke up around 4 AM, the light was still on, my book was thrown to the side of my bed, and Phoebe was trying to lie down on my head. What the hell, cat?
I'm also excited for this weekend and I will tell you why. THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS. Ahem. First of all, we are going out to dinner with Three Hole Punch Steve and his fiancee tonight. Did I tell you that Three Hole Punch Steve got engaged? Because he did. And his fiancee is wicked awesome.
And then tomorrow is Christmas with my dad's side of the family, which should be loud and insane (read: fun) as usual. I'm pretty excited to give out the presents I got for people. It's good that Christmas is next week because I wrapped all of my gifts early this year (whaaaaaa?!?) and right now they're sort of spread out all over the apartment. Except for Joe's, Joe's are hidden where he can't see them. Mwaahaahaa!
AND THEN! Jon and Lampl are coming over tomorrow night! Hooray! It's been 69 years since we've seen them and I'm so excited. They're probably not quite as excited, because as fun as Heidi and I are, they ARE leaving warm, sunny Florida for cold, gloomy (possibly snowy) Ohio. I would feel sorry for them, but I'm pretty sure Lampl went to the beach earlier this week so I don't feel that bad.
I just hope I can stay awake for all of it. I think all the excitement of the week caught up to me yesterday, and last night I fell asleep in bed reading. I woke up around 4 AM, the light was still on, my book was thrown to the side of my bed, and Phoebe was trying to lie down on my head. What the hell, cat?
Monday, December 14, 2009
NaNoNowWhat?
Hey, remember that time I spent all of November writing a craptastic novel and then stopped blogging because I used up all my words that weren't poop-related? Sorry about that.
Anyway. Now I have this 50,000 word monstrosity and I have no idea what to do with it. I mean, I get that now is when some sort of revision process would be going on but I don't even know where to start. To be completely honest, I've been too terrified to even look at anything I wrote last month. Every time I get close to opening the document, I freeze and have a little panic attack, so then I decide to do it later and go about my day.
It's hard to make myself do anything with it when there are so many other things I'd rather be doing. Things like going to see Home Alone IN THE THEATER. Um, yes, please. We went on Saturday because The Neon (aka The Movie Theater That Serves Beer) is running a series of Christmas movies this month. Unfortunately, we missed A Muppet Christmas Carol last weekend on account of I had to go spend a big chunk of my paycheck on new tires (right before Christmas, thanks I-75 construction!) which was super fun. Actually, it wasn't that bad because my parents took me out to breakfast while I waited for the tires to be finished and I got hot chocolate and talked a lot about heartburn because apparently I'm 80 now.
Since we missed A Muppet Christmas Carol and may not be able to go to next Saturday's showing of Little Women (sad face), we wanted to be sure to make it to Home Alone because Home Alone is awesome OBVIOUSLY. I was eight when Home Alone came out and probably haven't seen it in a good 15 years. One thing really struck me this time and that was HOLY LORD THEY LEFT THEIR TINY SON AT HOME. Seriously, he didn't seem that little when I watched it as a kid. I remember being sort of jealous that he got to jump on all the beds and eat ice cream for dinner and smash a guy's face in with a paint can but this time? All I could think about where the terrible, horrible, no good things that could happen to him while he was alone. Also. ALSO! I totally teared up when his mom came home and saw that he'd decorated the tree and put out all their stockings and then the old man next door's family came to visit him and he hugged his estranged son and WAAAAAH.
I'm so ashamed.
After the movie, we decided we should finish Christmas shopping and Joe patiently followed me around Kohl's while I was trying to figure out what to get my Grandma and then we went to Half Price Books and I bought more presents for myself than anyone else (but only by one) and then we went to Target and it broke us. You guys, I am not going back to Target until Christmas is over because there were people EVERYWHERE, including those people who don't understand why everyone gets so angry with them when they block the end of an aisle because they're staring at the dinosaur. I get it, that dinosaur is made of awesome (I play with it every time I'm at Target), but GET OUT OF MY WAY.
Since Target took away our will to live, we were left with no choice but to rent movies and pick up a pizza on the way home. We managed to watch two of them without me falling asleep even once (it's a Christmas miracle!) and then yesterday I (sort of) watched The Family Stone three times while I wrapped presents because I was too lazy to get up and change the DVD. Actually, that's not true. Really, I was hunched over the gift wrap for so long that my back was aching so I was trying not to move unless it was completely necessary because, like I said above, I am apparently 80 now.
Anyway. Now I have this 50,000 word monstrosity and I have no idea what to do with it. I mean, I get that now is when some sort of revision process would be going on but I don't even know where to start. To be completely honest, I've been too terrified to even look at anything I wrote last month. Every time I get close to opening the document, I freeze and have a little panic attack, so then I decide to do it later and go about my day.
It's hard to make myself do anything with it when there are so many other things I'd rather be doing. Things like going to see Home Alone IN THE THEATER. Um, yes, please. We went on Saturday because The Neon (aka The Movie Theater That Serves Beer) is running a series of Christmas movies this month. Unfortunately, we missed A Muppet Christmas Carol last weekend on account of I had to go spend a big chunk of my paycheck on new tires (right before Christmas, thanks I-75 construction!) which was super fun. Actually, it wasn't that bad because my parents took me out to breakfast while I waited for the tires to be finished and I got hot chocolate and talked a lot about heartburn because apparently I'm 80 now.
Since we missed A Muppet Christmas Carol and may not be able to go to next Saturday's showing of Little Women (sad face), we wanted to be sure to make it to Home Alone because Home Alone is awesome OBVIOUSLY. I was eight when Home Alone came out and probably haven't seen it in a good 15 years. One thing really struck me this time and that was HOLY LORD THEY LEFT THEIR TINY SON AT HOME. Seriously, he didn't seem that little when I watched it as a kid. I remember being sort of jealous that he got to jump on all the beds and eat ice cream for dinner and smash a guy's face in with a paint can but this time? All I could think about where the terrible, horrible, no good things that could happen to him while he was alone. Also. ALSO! I totally teared up when his mom came home and saw that he'd decorated the tree and put out all their stockings and then the old man next door's family came to visit him and he hugged his estranged son and WAAAAAH.
I'm so ashamed.
After the movie, we decided we should finish Christmas shopping and Joe patiently followed me around Kohl's while I was trying to figure out what to get my Grandma and then we went to Half Price Books and I bought more presents for myself than anyone else (but only by one) and then we went to Target and it broke us. You guys, I am not going back to Target until Christmas is over because there were people EVERYWHERE, including those people who don't understand why everyone gets so angry with them when they block the end of an aisle because they're staring at the dinosaur. I get it, that dinosaur is made of awesome (I play with it every time I'm at Target), but GET OUT OF MY WAY.
Since Target took away our will to live, we were left with no choice but to rent movies and pick up a pizza on the way home. We managed to watch two of them without me falling asleep even once (it's a Christmas miracle!) and then yesterday I (sort of) watched The Family Stone three times while I wrapped presents because I was too lazy to get up and change the DVD. Actually, that's not true. Really, I was hunched over the gift wrap for so long that my back was aching so I was trying not to move unless it was completely necessary because, like I said above, I am apparently 80 now.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Happy Birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
IT IS SO COLD OUTSIDE. My brain is frozen. You're probably all, "oh, poor Jennie is cold, somebody better call the WAAAAAAHmbulance," but you know what? Eff you. Because it's REALLY COLD OUTSIDE.
I did a lot of Christmas celebrating this weekend. Like. Almost all weekend. For realsies. Heidi and I went over to Tamara's Friday night for pizza and cookies and drinking and Love, Actually. Tamara didn't have a copy of Love, Actually and asked us to bring a copy (because we have two, naturally), and I was all, "haha, I will BUY Love, Actually and give it to Tamara as a Hanukkah present and we will pretend we forgot it and she will call us bitches and then open her present and we will laugh and laugh and laugh." That is essentially exactly the way it happened, only I'm not sure if she called us bitches. I don't really remember. Anyway, then we drank margaritas and killed an entire pizza and opened presents and watched Love, Actually and all was right with the world.
On Saturday, Joe and I went to my aunt's house to celebrate Christmas with my dad's side of the family. When we got there, the food was spread out all over the dining room AND the kitchen, and we concentrated on eating for a good hour. I ate approximately four hanky pankies (spicy sausage and cheese melted together and then baked on tiny pieces of bread OH MY GOD they are the food of the heavens). Then we opened presents and THEN we played Rock Band for so long that I thought for sure that my arm was going to fall off from playing the guitar for the longest song in the history of the world. After we turned the game over to the kids, we decided to play Scene It, only no one but Joe really remembered the rules and god love him, he really tried to explain them and then tried to get everyone to watch the How To tutorial on the game, but we are a rowdy bunch and keeping our attention for longer than about 30 seconds . . . um, doesn't work. This is a pretty good representation of what a Jennie's Family Christmas is like, and I wouldn't change it for all the naked Jake Gyllenhaals in the world:
The How To tutorial is playing and everyone watches for approximately .05 seconds, but then my dad farts and everyone rushes to cover their noses, and the dogs walk all over the game board and knock all the pieces over, and my uncle is yelling down the stairs for the kids to turn the volume down because Rock Band is drowning out all other sounds in the universe, and my other uncle is ignoring everyone because he's playing with the toy chainsaw my dad got him for Christmas, and suddenly the tutorial is over and someone asks how we play and my head explodes a little and then we finally start playing but my dad is TOTALLY CHEATING because he's all, "you can't play that buzz card and make us lose our turn because we already rolled," and "I think you move your piece AFTER you answer the question correctly," and then people are YELLING OUT THE ANSWER when it's not their turn (JOE), and no one believes me when I say Dustin Hoffman was in Wag the Dog, Papillion, and Dick Tracy even though they know I am the Rainman of movie trivia and then my uncle is saying that The Royal Tenenbaums is a terrible movie and I'm all, "didn't we get into this fight last time we played?" and yes. Yes, we did.
I did a lot of Christmas celebrating this weekend. Like. Almost all weekend. For realsies. Heidi and I went over to Tamara's Friday night for pizza and cookies and drinking and Love, Actually. Tamara didn't have a copy of Love, Actually and asked us to bring a copy (because we have two, naturally), and I was all, "haha, I will BUY Love, Actually and give it to Tamara as a Hanukkah present and we will pretend we forgot it and she will call us bitches and then open her present and we will laugh and laugh and laugh." That is essentially exactly the way it happened, only I'm not sure if she called us bitches. I don't really remember. Anyway, then we drank margaritas and killed an entire pizza and opened presents and watched Love, Actually and all was right with the world.
On Saturday, Joe and I went to my aunt's house to celebrate Christmas with my dad's side of the family. When we got there, the food was spread out all over the dining room AND the kitchen, and we concentrated on eating for a good hour. I ate approximately four hanky pankies (spicy sausage and cheese melted together and then baked on tiny pieces of bread OH MY GOD they are the food of the heavens). Then we opened presents and THEN we played Rock Band for so long that I thought for sure that my arm was going to fall off from playing the guitar for the longest song in the history of the world. After we turned the game over to the kids, we decided to play Scene It, only no one but Joe really remembered the rules and god love him, he really tried to explain them and then tried to get everyone to watch the How To tutorial on the game, but we are a rowdy bunch and keeping our attention for longer than about 30 seconds . . . um, doesn't work. This is a pretty good representation of what a Jennie's Family Christmas is like, and I wouldn't change it for all the naked Jake Gyllenhaals in the world:
The How To tutorial is playing and everyone watches for approximately .05 seconds, but then my dad farts and everyone rushes to cover their noses, and the dogs walk all over the game board and knock all the pieces over, and my uncle is yelling down the stairs for the kids to turn the volume down because Rock Band is drowning out all other sounds in the universe, and my other uncle is ignoring everyone because he's playing with the toy chainsaw my dad got him for Christmas, and suddenly the tutorial is over and someone asks how we play and my head explodes a little and then we finally start playing but my dad is TOTALLY CHEATING because he's all, "you can't play that buzz card and make us lose our turn because we already rolled," and "I think you move your piece AFTER you answer the question correctly," and then people are YELLING OUT THE ANSWER when it's not their turn (JOE), and no one believes me when I say Dustin Hoffman was in Wag the Dog, Papillion, and Dick Tracy even though they know I am the Rainman of movie trivia and then my uncle is saying that The Royal Tenenbaums is a terrible movie and I'm all, "didn't we get into this fight last time we played?" and yes. Yes, we did.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I'm a black belt in gift-wrapping.
Sometimes I think it's funny when I'm in my boss's office, and she sends me an email, to race it back to my desk. I almost always win. Other times, she'll come into my office and be all, "I sent you an email," and then we stare at Outlook until it appears. Sometimes I get scared because there might be an email from Heidi visible. Not that we're all that inappropriate at work, but every now and then we start to discuss Britney Spears and then someone says, "if that happens, I'll poop my pants," and you know what? I don't want my boss thinking that either Heidi or I poop our pants on a regular basis. Or any basis, really. I realize the whole racing email thing is not very funny, but my work environment has recently (ha, recently) become a hotbed of rumor and intrigue and so I have to make my own fun. Which would be a lot easier if they'd give back access to the YouTubes.
Today begins the GREAT PAYROLL/HR SOFTWARE CONVERSION OF 2008. I say begins, but really we've been working on this for what feels like a trillion years. That's why I was in Rockville last week and that's why I haven't had time to blog lately, because recently they've actually been expecting me to do some work. What's weird is that, other than this conversion, I don't have much to do. And considering that layoffs around here have been often and plentiful, I'm thinking I won't be hanging onto this job for too long once everything from the conversion clusterfuck has been fixed.
Other than that, I've been spending my time trying to get into the Christmas spirit, which was totally working the other night when I found some Christmas music on the radio but then Deliliah came on and ruined everything. I hate her so hard. I can't help it. She makes me feel Grinchy like no one else does, unless Dane Cook comes out with a Christmas comedy special or something.
Here's what, though. Last night during the tail end of Ugly Betty, what should we see? Why, a preview for A Muppets Christmas. A BRAND NEW MUPPETS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. If a Santa-hat-wearing Animal can't get you in the Christmas spirit, nothing can. Suck it, Deliliah.
Today begins the GREAT PAYROLL/HR SOFTWARE CONVERSION OF 2008. I say begins, but really we've been working on this for what feels like a trillion years. That's why I was in Rockville last week and that's why I haven't had time to blog lately, because recently they've actually been expecting me to do some work. What's weird is that, other than this conversion, I don't have much to do. And considering that layoffs around here have been often and plentiful, I'm thinking I won't be hanging onto this job for too long once everything from the conversion clusterfuck has been fixed.
Other than that, I've been spending my time trying to get into the Christmas spirit, which was totally working the other night when I found some Christmas music on the radio but then Deliliah came on and ruined everything. I hate her so hard. I can't help it. She makes me feel Grinchy like no one else does, unless Dane Cook comes out with a Christmas comedy special or something.
Here's what, though. Last night during the tail end of Ugly Betty, what should we see? Why, a preview for A Muppets Christmas. A BRAND NEW MUPPETS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. If a Santa-hat-wearing Animal can't get you in the Christmas spirit, nothing can. Suck it, Deliliah.
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