9/11

Does anyone else get freaked out when the weather is this nice on September 11th? I know it's been four years, but it still feels so, I don't know, raw. Like it just happened. It still upsets me to see the footage, I still cry. Will it always be like that?

I was a sophomore in college. That day, I didn't have class until 11, so I didn't know anything had happened until one of my floormates pounded on my door. Everyone else was at class and she said she just needed to tell someone. "Someone crashed a plane into the twin towers." I was so confused, what strange information to get when you first wake up.

She and I sat on my futon all morning, watching the news. As people came back from class, they joined us. Classes were cancelled. Instead, we all went to the chapel where they were holding a prayer service. I'm not very religious, I don't often pray, but that day I just wanted to be around people. Especially later, when the rumors started flying. I worried about my family in Dayton because someone told me Wright Patt was a target. All planes were grounded, but when Air Force One (or was it Two?) flew over campus and I was outside, I almost crouched behind a tree.

And still, I don't really know how to talk about it. Sometimes it doesn't even feel real. Did that really happen? It seemed so unlikely. Watching it on TV, over and over, it just seemed like a movie. I don't mean to trivialize what happened at all, but it was just so surreal. It still feels that way. I guess it's just one of those "where were you when" moments that I don't think any of us will ever get over. And maybe we shouldn't.

See, I really don't know what to say about it. It just feels wrong NOT to be thinking about it today.