Oh my gosh, you guys, do I ever have some exciting news. Hold onto your butts (thank you, Samuel L. Jackson) because this? Is going to be amazing.
I don't know if you know this (but I'm kind of a big deal), but every Monday at Subway is Free Cookie Monday. I try not to make going out to lunch a habit, but I can't resist free cookies. So today, I went to Subway to get my usual (turkey on wheat) and the lady at the cash register was all, "for here or to go?" and I was all, "for here," and then ten seconds later I was all, "did I say here, cause I meant to go," and she gave me this look like, oh you poor sad creature, you are so stupid and then she gave me my chocolate chip cookie and I left. True story. So I got back to the office, put half my sub in the fridge for tomorrow, and checked on my free cookie. You know, to make sure it wasn't afraid, because it was dark inside the bag and everyone knows chocolate chip cookies are afraid of the dark. And lo and behold . . . I looked in the bag . . . and there were TWO COOKIES. TWO FREE COOKIES. TWO FREE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. Either she thought I was super awesome or she felt sorry for me because I don't know the difference between "here" and "to go." I don't really care. If being completely stupid gets you double free cookies, then I'm going to play dumb more often.
Also, do you ever have those moments where it feels like everyone is staring at you? I totally had one of those at Subway. It was weird and I got all paranoid that I had, like, ink all over my face or my fly was down or something.
Speaking of paranoid . . . I'm dog-sitting for my aunt and uncle this week and they have two dogs. Roxy, who is the greatest dog ever created and Mocha, who is . . . special. She is completely adorable when she's like, sleeping. Or just not barking. Because the barking makes me want to rip off my ears. Last night, she barked and barked and barked while I tried to go to bed. This went on for a long, long time. Not only was it annoying, but it made me wonder if there was someone out in the backyard, waiting for me to go to sleep so they could break in and torment me and kill me. I know that's completely ridiculous, but it just proves once again that Heidi and I should never have gone to see The Strangers.