Monday, June 16, 2008

and then we all ate ice cream

Yesterday, I fell off of a tightrope. It was going pretty well there for a while, but my balance is not that great (hence: all the falling down) and also there was this jumping bear trap right in the middle and when I tried to jump over it? I fell. And probably died. That's what usually happens when you're tightroping between two buildings and a bear trap closes on your legs and you fall to the ground. Good times.

Oh, and my parents got Wii Fit. That's how I managed to fall off a tightrope and still remain typing to you. I also ran a race. You put the Wiimote in your pocket and just run in place. It was fun until I realized I was, you know, running. Then I tried to hula hoop. Yeah, let's not talk about that.

Before all the Wii Fitting, I drove my mom to the video store and we passed this lady walking down the side of the street, pushing a grocery cart. She was wearing a hot dog hat. A HOT DOG HAT. (Heidi, like that one we bought Nancy that one time.) For real, she had a wiener on her head. A big one.

After dinner, we were watching Indiana Jones and I started explaining to my dad my idea for a new motivational tool that companies can use to, um, motivate their employees. Say you're walking down to accounts payable to drop off some invoices, OK? Wouldn't it be a lot more exciting if the Indiana Jones theme song was playing over loudspeakers in the hallway? Picture it . . . you're strolling along and then you hear, "Do do do dooooooo! Do do doooooo! Do do do dooooo! Do do do-do-do!" and then suddenly you're RUNNING down the hall and sliding down banisters and like, using your whip to swing across giant holes on the ground. You'd get those invoices to accounting SO MUCH FASTER. I really think this would boost productivity. Also, I thought it'd be fun if the Darth Vader song played as the CEO was walking toward your office. You know, as a warning signal to stop fucking around and get back to work. I think I'm going to explore this. Maybe I'll get my own infomercial.

I know it sounds like I've been doing a lot of shrooms or something, but I swear I haven't. This is all natural.


  1. That's an amazing idea. If I heard the Indiana Jones music, I would totally want to walk to accounts payable, and I don't even have a job.

    Also, I'm kind of afraid of the WiiFit. It's like... fooling you into exercising. Boooo...

  2. we're kinda sad because we probably don't have enough room to get the wii fit.

    stupid gigantic free ethan allen furniture.

  3. mg! but it's fun exercise. Actually, I'm not sure how walking on a tightrope is exercise, but whatever, it's still fun.

    kat! I say get rid of your furniture. It's worth it.

  4. You can call me, 'Sir'11:54 AM

    You may have enjoyed my 'phallus-shaped building' ...


    ...but you've trumped me with the wiener hat.

    Well played, sir.

  5. Are you sure it wasn't Nancy walking down the road? Also, please steal Wii Fit from your parents or lets move into their basement.

  6. Sir, yeah, the wiener hat trumps all.

    Heidi, I say we move into the basement, because that's where the bar is.

  7. Abigail12:36 PM

    all i can think about now is how awesome it would if that music was playing at my office. who do i talk to about this?

    also, related story: one time the power went out at my office, so we decided to go get a flashlight out of my coworker's truck. he was parked in the lowest level of the structure and when we got down there it was PITCH BLACK. obviously, we all got in the bed of the truck and he drove us around the structure while we swung the flashlight around and do, do, dooooed, do do dooo, do do doooo, do do do do do !

  8. Abs, I'm working on it. I'll let you know once I've implemented it in my office and I'll tell you how I did it.

  9. OMG MY PARENTS have Wii Fit too! J and I played last night - J got over 850 hula hoops - true story. What was Nancy smokin when she said that game isn't fun?

    Oh and we ate hot dogs too!

  10. I've had big wieners on parts of my head before. I wouldn't wear a wiener hat though. 'Cause ew.

  11. Okay, so it's not quite the same as your awesome Indiana Jones Around the Office idea (which I TOTALLY support, btw), but there's this company that's working on building a personal soundtrack T-shirt, which I think would have its own distinct advantages in some situations.

  12. Tam, tell Jeremy that's the most impressive thing I've ever heard.

    Stephanie, GROSS.

    Vahid, oh my god I WANT ONE.

  13. my parents for some reason bought a wii, too, and it is a great way to avoid talking about our problems.

    i am not putting that remote in my pocket though. you can make it vibrate, you know. i don't want to get gonno-wii-a.

  14. Gonno-wii-a? That was seriously impressive.