Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I felt a great disturbance in The Force

I have some bad news. Really bad. You should probably sit down. I got to work today at the same time I always do, checked my work email, and then went to see if it was my turn on Scrabulous. And . . . oh god . . . it was GONE. JUST GONE. NO MORE SCRABULOUS. I guess it's because Hasbro hates me and wants me to cry all day long.

You guys, I am a mess and not just because of the Scrabulous loss. I came back from Put-in-Bay with a wicked sunburn, a huge bruise on my knee and no recollection of obtaining it, and a blister on my hand from burning it on the oven. This is why I shouldn't try to cook. People only get hurt, and by people, I mean ME. Also all the people who get food poisoning. Then yesterday, I tried to tune my guitar and a string broke and whipped me on the wrist. It hurt. You may be asking yourself, "why is Jennie tuning a guitar?" or maybe even, "Jennie has a guitar?" and the answers are, "because an out of tune guitar sounds like shit," and, "yes, I do have a guitar." I bought it my senior year of high school because I thought teaching myself to play would be easier than it was. Also because it was blue. It turns out, teaching yourself how to play the guitar is NOT easy. I think I was hoping I would just pick up the guitar and magically know how to play. Like I'd be the Rainman of singer-songwriting. Alas, I am not. So, recently, I got a book to help teach me and yesterday was the first day I actually TRIED to do anything and then a stupid string broke. AND THEN (no and then!) I realized that I haven't changed the strings since I got the guitar. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it wasn't like I was playing it or anything. So. Moral of the story? I need new strings.

After I broke my guitar, I decided to go running and I almost died. I know I say that every time, but a combination of very little sleep this weekend, spending too much time in the sun, the HOT HOT HEAT and HUMID HUMID, um, HUMIDITY, and the fact that I haven't run in weeks meant I seriously for real almost fell on the sidewalk and died. I know this means I need to start running in the morning before work, but waking up that early makes me die, too. This is really a losing situation any way you look at it.


  1. The subject line of this post is most definitely appropriate. The loss of Scrabulous caused millions of voices to cry out in great pain...and then to be suddenly silenced.

  2. The shiny guy always worries.

  3. Do I need to send you the number of a suicide prevention hotline? Because you seem to be stumbling toward death's cold embrace these days.

  4. Ha! No, despite the loss of Scrabulous, things are really good. I just need to stop running.

  5. I, too, have a mysterious bruise on my knee!

    What are we going to do all day without Scrabulous? Surely not work...

  6. Oh, and also...

    Dear Hasbro,

    Chuck Norris and I are going to hunt down and destroy your greedy ass. Ever seen Lone Wolf McQuade. Yeah. Just like that. Sleep softly.

    The Guy Who's Not Afraid To Recruit Chuck Norris For Rampant Asskickery

  7. mg!, work? Perish the thought.

    Sir, I would like to join your revolution.

  8. Apparently we can play Scrabulous still if we're outside North America. I say we move to Iceland.

  9. I could live in Iceland.

  10. 1) Email Scrabulous still works fabulous.

    2) Target carries guitar strings cheap.

    3) Alcohol administered orally makes burned hands and frazzled minds feel better.

    4) The bill for all this great advice is in the mail.

  11. Regular Scrabulous still works, too.

    Stop crying wolf, Jennie! You're scaring the children (me)!

  12. Would you really want to be the Rainman of singer/songwriting? I mean, just think about the kind of songs Rainman would write.

  13. 'mouse, that was all the best advice EVER.

    Sir, regular Scrabulous can suck it! I want the old one!

    vahid, thank you for giving me an idea for a post. Mwaahaahaa! Ha.