Friday, February 27, 2009

bottom of the barrel

So it would seem I forgot I had a blog. Oops. I was going to write, I really was, but all I had to talk about was coughing and phlegm and Vicks Vapor Rub and nobody wants to hear about that. I'm feeling a bit better today, though, and by that I mean I'm not staring daggers at the clock, wishing for time to go faster so I can go home and put my pajamas on and sit in a drug-induced vegetative state in front of the television. Also, it's Friday. And payday. I enjoy both of those, even though I'm doing this thing where I pretend most of the money in my checking account is not there. I can't spend it if it's not there. This is my reasoning.

I think the drugs are starting to affect my dreams, because last night I dreamt I was at the Inauguration, only it was in this really small concert venue and Barack Obama was wearing the whole graduation get-up (cap and gown and tassels and sashes), which I suppose makes a bit of sense because he was graduating from being awesome to being super awesome. So I'm watching the ceremony and then Barack Obama started singing. I don't remember what song it was but I do remember thinking he had a lovely singing voice. I was way in the back and couldn't see much, so I started inching closer and closer because I'm stealthy like that (until I trip over something or fall over) and soon I was standing right behind the good seats, where all the famous people were sitting. I was standing behind Brian Williams and when he saw me, he jumped up and told me to follow him and I was all, "Sure, Brian Williams, I like your tie, let's go." So then he was all, "Do you know how to drive a taxi?" and I was like, "If a taxi is anything like A CAR, then yes, I can drive a taxi," and he was all, "Thanks, SMART ASS," and I was like, "Chill OUT, Brian Williams, it's a good day!" Then he gave me a taxi and it looked like one of those old, run-down taxis from The Royal Tenenbaums and I drove around for a long time the streets were empty on account of everyone was either AT the Inauguration or WATCHING the Inauguration. Except for me and Brian Williams, of course. Then I woke up and was pissed because I didn't get to see Obama's big encore. The end!


  1. Vick's Vapor Rub is one of the reasons I know magic exists.

  2. Its good to know that celebrities want to hang out with us, its just that we dont normally show up. D'oh.

  3. sarah g10:12 AM

    I keep coming up as 'me' in all of my comments lately. Feel better

  4. You have the coolest dreams! I want some of your drugs because I really, really want to hear Obama sing. Plus a taxi ride with Brian Williams isn't the worst thing either.

  5. Fraulein N10:42 AM

    Sounds like fun. Not the sick, just the stuff in your Vicks-fueled dream.

  6. I had a dream that I had quadruplets the other night, [probly because on the Today show this week they featured a hospital that delivered like four sets of them] The worst part was, when they were born I said I couldn't aford them so I picked the best one and we gave three away. GAVE THEM AWAY!

  7. h!a! SERIOUSLY. It really is magic.

    me/sarah g, thanks! Hee.

    Shari, I will share my drugs with you anytime.

    Fraulein, yeah, I wish I could hear Obama sing for realsies now.

    Tam, at least you didn't sell them. Although, if you'd sold at least one of them, you probably could have afforded to keep two of them.

  8. I'm glad he's better at singing than John Ashcroft...