Monday, February 16, 2009

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.

I had all these things to write today. I think. And now I don't remember what any of them were. I'm sure it was fascinating stuff, so I'm sorry you don't get to read it. I am happy to report that my weekend was A+ awesome. Much better than last weekend. Although, considering I spent much of last Sunday getting up close and personal with my toilet, this weekend didn't have to do much to be awesome. But it was awesome even if you don't compare it to puke. I'm going to stop saying awesome now. Awesome. OK, that was the last one.

Nancy came over on Friday, and brought two bottles of wine to go with the Papa Murphy's we'd picked up. Unfortunately, she had to leave early and pick up her parents from the airport but that didn't stop Heidi and I from staying up until 3 in the morning drinking rum and playing Raving Rabbids 3 on Wii. You play part of that game with your butt. True story. I would tell you how fun it is but HELLO we stayed up until 3 in the morning playing it and YOU PLAY IT WITH YOUR BUTT. How much more endorsement do you need?

When we eventually woke up on Saturday, we managed to drag ourselves to Cracker Barrel (MMM) and Target. While we were waiting for them to call our name at the restaurant, we were perusing the merchandise in the waiting area (like you do) when this overly-helpful worker noticed us staring at all the stuff hanging from the ceiling. It went a little something like this:

Him: I'll bet you girls aren't even old enough to recognize most of that stuff.
Us: Huh?
Him: I don't even know what most of that stuff is.
Us: OK.
Him: Yep, they don't really go over any of that in our orientation.
Us: You don't say.
Him: Yeah. Well, over there is a toy tractor. And that's an old vacuum. I don't know what that thing is.
Us: Wow.
Him: Someone told me that just have a warehouse full of this stuff!
Us: Um . . .
Him: And when a new store opens up, they just go to the warehouse and load up a truck!
Us: . . .
Him: That'd be a fun job.
Us: . . .
Him: To just buy all this stuff.

That's when we started inching away. Anyway. Moving on.

It was an epic trip to Target, for sure, mostly because the $1 spot had lots of fun stuff so I stocked up on useless crap. Whoo! We eventually made it out of Target and back home, and I thought since it was Valentine's Day and all, I would shower and try and make myself look presentable. Joe and I didn't do anything particularly Valentiney. We went to dinner and it was DELICIOUS and then we watched the most romantic movie ever. Yes, that movie is about killer slugs from space that turn people into zombies. But whatever. It has Nathan Fillion in it and I heart him. He's Captain Hammer. Plus also, it was sort of awesome (shit) even though it was really, really gross but it was about slug-zombie-monsters so, you know, DUH. I know it's not a typical Valentine's Day movie, but honestly, who wants to be typical?

One reason we didn't go all out on celebrating Valentine's Day is that Joe's birthday was the very next day and on a scale from meh to awesome (oops), I think Valentine's Day is more on the meh side. While OBVIOUSLY birthdays are all up on the awesome side. Anyway, my plan was to cook him dinner, which I guess I technically did, but he ended up helping with some stuff, like putting the chicken on the pan (because raw chicken is icky) and also taking things in and out of the oven (because of my tendency to burn myself on, well, everything), but I totally cooked the biscuits and the cheesy broccoli (in the microwave, shut it) and the homemade cookies that may or may not have involved transferring pre-made cookie dough to a cookie sheet. It's the thought that counts, right? Right. Tonight, his friends are throwing him a party and, while it's not a surprise, certain elements are unknown to him. Mwaahaahaahaahaa. Ha.


  1. Abigail2:29 PM

    Dude! I've read all about that Cracker Barrel warehouse! After I read about it, I kept telling people who didn't care about it, and then saying "wouldn't that be a cool job?"

    Maybe that weirdo is my soulmate.

  2. I dunno, Abs, he was pretty old.

  3. Abigail2:32 PM

    Ew, nevermind.

  4. Abigail2:32 PM

    Also: True story.

  5. I forgot my comment when I started laughing about Abigail's soulmate in the Cracker Barrel.

    But, yes, birthdays are awesome.

  6. mg! I'm glad we are in agreement on birthdays. It's an important subject.

  7. I #1 upTheSHIZ agree that birthdays are awesome (also agree that I've been watching too much Juno probably because I got it for my birthday last year)

  8. I love Slither. MEAT.

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