Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I am a bathroom martian. Beep. Boop. Boop. I am from the nebula of the great toilet.

Hypothetically, which is worse: putting on your underwear inside out or not noticing that your underwear is on inside out for like, the whole day?

I'm not asking for any specific reason OH NO I'M NOT. I'm definitely not asking because I put my underwear on inside out yesterday and even if I did, it's definitely the first time that's ever happened I'VE NEVER EVER DONE THAT BEFORE SHUT UP YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.

Why am I writing about my underwear, right-side-out or inside-out, you might ask? It's because I have NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT. NaNoWriMo is taking up all of my words, all the words that I've ever had in my head, and they're not even good words! Seriously! I sort of hate my novel (IT'S SO BAD) and the only reason I'm still writing it is because I said I would win and so win I shall.

I am eating the biggest grapes right now, you guys. THEY ARE SO BIG THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Last night, Max did a funny dog thing (hahaha funny dogs are funny) only it wasn't really funny, it was annoying because I was trying to sleep. Want to know why I was trying to sleep? Cause it was 2 in the morning. Anyway, I don't know if the storm woke him up or what but I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, he was standing by my side of the bed, wiggling his little body to and fro as if it were time to get up for the day. And I was all, "IT IS NOT TIME TO GET UP FOR THE DAY GET IN YOUR BED!" but all he heard was, "I AM SAYING WORDS TO YOU SO YOU WAG YOUR TAIL HARDER SO PLEASE WAG YOUR TAIL HARDER AND MAYBE HOP UP AND DOWN A FEW TIMES SO I CAN SEE HOW CUTE YOU ARE!"

This, plus Phoebe's nightly attempts to curl up in the small space above my head on my pillow (THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOU, CAT) and also all the windy windy rain, meant I did not sleep very well last night. But I don't care because it's almost that special time of year where it's totally acceptable for me to eat three heaping platefuls of mashed potatoes which, coincidentally, is why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.


  1. Jungle Jim's had "jumbo" grapes last year and now I feel like I can't settle for normal grapes. Once you go jumbo, you never go... mumbo.

  2. You have just reminded me that it's been far too long since I've been to Jungle Jim's. It's sad, really, I work like five minutes from there.

  3. hah hah! I FINALLY figured out how to log in and POST.

    okay. so you think wearing them inside out is weird, try going the whole day with them on sideways.


  4. 1) I've worn my underwear inside out accidentally on multiple occasions.

    2) I want three helpings of mashed potatoes now, please.

    I'm glad that you keep working on the novel even if it's not in the place you'd like it to be. Perseverance!

  5. For a brief moment, I had intense hatred for the lot of you because you have Jungle Jim's and THE ABILITY TO EAT MASHED POTATOES. I might be able to slurp mashed potatoes by tomorrow, though; we'll see. I have to drive like 2 hours to get to Jungle Jim's though, so it's not happening this weekend.

    But you can envy me because I'm about to POP A VICODIN.