Last night after work I drove down to where my old job was to meet some former coworkers for dinner. This is like the first time I've ever met former coworkers for anything. It's not because I hated all of my former coworkers or anything, not at all, it's just that I'm usually way too lazy to keep in touch with work people. Maybe I'm getting better at it in my old age WHO KNOWS.
What I do know is that my drive down to Cincinnati last night marked my first drive past the place of Touchdown Jesus's untimely demise (RIP). And I feel it is my duty (heh, DUTY) to inform you all that construction has begun on a new Jesus statue because OF COURSE IT HAS. New Jesus, or shall we call Him, Resurrection Jesus, right now consists of only part of a skeleton, but IT HAS BEGUN.
You may remember that last year Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only the charred remains of his skeleton behind. You may also remember it as the BEST! DAY! EVER!, especially if you lived in Ohio at the time. It felt like Christmas. Which...if you really think about what I just said, you'll realize it's all kinds of wrong so maybe just don't think about it, OK? OK.
Whatever, they're rebuilding it and they're probably building it out of less flammable material this time (I mean, they have to be, right?) so but, you guys. They are ASKING for jokes. Because you wanna know why?
They're calling New Jesus...
wait for it...
Come Unto Me Jesus.
COME UNTO ME JESUS.
That is all.
No comment.
No, seriously, I'm not touching this one.
I feel like Chandler that time he promised not to make fun of anyone. HORNSWOGGLE.
North Carolina is teeming with Ohio natives (not, like, Shawnee indians or anything, but...y'know) and the owners of my little neighborhood bar are among them. Sometimes we look at each other and nod, because we know things, man. We've been there. So, thanks, Ohio, for continually justifying our distance from your lands and Jesus-naming bafoonery.
ReplyDeleteWhatever, he'll always be Touchdown Jesus. You can't just take away Touchdown Jesus. Who do these people think they are?
ReplyDeleteI find Ohio extremely fascinating, probably because I'm not actually from here. Two words: Perry County.
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