I'll cry if I want to

I am having a New Year's party and you are all invited. That's right, I just invited the whole internet to my apartment.

I think I am just super paranoid that no one will come to my party, even though I know that's not the case, or that my party will suck and everyone will leave early. Which would so never happen because I am fun! I swear! Not dancing on the table topless fun, but let's laugh and sing and dance on the floor tops ON fun! I will not go crazy and start crying because everyone messed up my apartment like the hostess did at one party I went to. Also, I am always one of the last people to go to bed/pass out so I will not start cleaning up while people are still hanging out and having fun in "hint, hint, GET OUT NOW" fashion.

Aside from last year, every time any of us has tried to plan some sort of party for the New Year, plans fell through. We'd get tentative RSVPs and then people would back out at the last minute because, I don't know, something more fun had come up? Again, I must mention how fun I am so why are you backing out, like HELLO WHO DOES THAT. Oh, everyone, OK.

So. See you all December 31st. Don't be offended if you try to touch Phoebe and she bites you and hides under my bed. That is just her way. Don't be offended if I make fun of you or spill my drink on you. That is just my way. Party. Foul.