For as long as I can remember, I have been ruled by self-doubt. That scared, little voice in my head governing everything I do. You can't do that, what if you mess up. You're going to look so stupid. What if you can't do this? They're all gonna laugh at you! I am the poster child for low self-esteem.
The one thing I've always felt the surest about is my writing. You know how everyone is good at at least one thing? Writing has always been the thing I'm good at. It was always my story that was chosen to be read aloud to the class. The best compliments I have ever received have been about my writing. Maybe they weren't the best, but they felt like the best because they meant the most. And you guys? You guys make me feel good about my writing, too. Every comment you leave warms my cold, dead heart. Seriously. You have no idea.
And yet, I still don't write. I make excuses for not even trying to get published. I don't know what to write, I don't know who to send it to, it's not like anyone would ever publish my crap anyway. That's the thing, though. I'll never know unless I actually write something and SEND it. So, right now, I am putting my New Year's resolution here, in print, for all the world (or the 30 of you who read this) to see. I will try at least three times this year to get something published. It doesn't have to actually BE published, I'm not expecting that at all, but this is the big step. The one I am having the most trouble making. And hopefully I won't fall flat on my face.
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