Antie Em, Auntie Em! It's a twister!

Poltergeist is on right now. That movie freaks me the hell out. Especially that part where he peels his face off . . . even though it looks totally fake compared to special effects today.

Last night was so weird. There were storms everywhere, and the possibility of a tornado, but really all that happened was that it rained a lot and there was some really cool lightning. As usual, my dad and I stood out on the back porch like morons watching the storm for a while, while my mom and sister camped out in the basement.

We were watching the news for the weather, and I can't remember if it was channel 2 or 7, but one of them had the dorkiest meteorologist ever. He kept telling people that if they needed to call someone, to use a cell phone, and every time he said cell phone he held his hand up to his ear in the universal gesture of "call me." He also kept saying that people should go into their basement and, if possible, find a bike helmet to wear. That cracked me up, because I kept picturing an entire family crouched in their basement, all wearing some kind of helmet (bike, football, hockey). It reminded me of this time my dad and I were camping for Indian Princesses (yes, I was an indian princess . . . it was better than girl scouts) at Camp Camblegard and a tornado went right over the campgrounds but never touched down. The other tribe (yeah, I'm starting to see why the whole Indian Guide/Princess thing was decided to be a bit too politically incorrect, and now it's called Prairie kids or something like that. Again, with the parentheses, I really apologize . . . I don't know what my deal is with using them all the time now, but let's hope it passes. I think I'll just end this thought right now because I've even managed to confuse myself and I've forgotten what my point was (if I had one, ooh, look, double parentheses)).

Anyway. The other tribe (we were sharing a cabin with them, it was like a double cabin, but connected, shit, I'm doing it again) was camped out in the bathroom, all huddled together and they'd put mattresses up around them. Everyone in our tribe was just chilling on the bunk beds.

I mean, I think there's such a thing as being too cautious. If a tornado comes along and sucks the roof off of the cabin, I don't think a mattress (or a bike helmet) is going to make that much of a difference.

Although, my view of tornadoes is somewhat skewed because, as a child, one of my favorite movies was The Wizard of Oz, and for the longest time I thought getting sucked up in a tornado was just how a person got to the land of munchkins.

Don't worry, I don't believe that anymore.

Not completely, anyway.

Look, I can post pictures now! So those of you I have embarrassing pictures of . . . be afraid. Be very afraid.

It's not a mineshaft, it's a wishing well. 

the Turbonater

The Indy 500 is on, and I know this because my dad is downstairs bellowing "Back home again in Indiana."

I went to Heidi's graduation party last night. It was mucho of the fun. She lives in St. Paris, and the entire drive there I kept saying "this looks so familiar; I think I've been here before" like some crazy, deja-vu-getting, head case. We finally drove past Kiser Lake, and then I remembered that we used to go camping there all the time when I was younger. My most vivid memory of that time is when we went camping with some family friends, and their daughter and I went looking for firewood in the woods, and because we were both stupid we wandered off of the path, thinking we'd easily be able to find our way back (forgetting, I think, that neither of us has any sense of direction) and we got lost. We ended up standing in one place and yelling her dad's name until he found us.

We're smart.

Heidi has a black lab and he's huge. His name is Turbo, which is ironic because he walks very . . . very . . . slowly. Unless he sees food, in which case he's very quick. He stole Heidi's sandwich and walked (slowly) away with it in his mouth. It doesn't sound funny now, but if you'd been there you would have laughed.

I promise.

is this your stop, miss? no, really, is it?

I hate when you see someone you haven't seen for a really long time, and when you see them you don't look your best. Of course, that seems to be the only time you ever see someone like that.

Today at Kohl's I saw the lady who used to baby-sit me from when I was a baby until I was in kindergarten. It was 2 in the afternoon. I was wearing jeans and a ratty, faded t-shirt. I hadn't showered. I looked so pretty, let me tell you. I'm sure I made quite the impression, especially since I didn't recognize her at first. So she's probably thinking, "Oh, so she turned into a dumbass. A dumbass who smells. Good to know."

Not that I didn't do my share of dumbass things while under her care. Believe me, I did plenty. More than I remember, I'm sure. For instance, when they were digging a hole in their backyard for a pool, I decided to climb down into it. I got my shorts stuck on a nail and had to sit there until someone noticed that they hadn't seen me in a while. I didn't even try shouting for anyone.

Because I am, and always have been, a dumbass.

Another example? This is probably the most embarrassing, even though I was only 5. When I was in kindergarten, I rode the bus to school and back. The details of the event I'm about to tell you are a little fuzzy (I was only 5, remember) but it doesn't really matter . . . the point is that I was stupid.

I think I normally had a friend that used the same bus stop that I did, and I depended on him to tell me when it was time to get off the bus in the afternoon. Well, one day he was sick or something, or for some reason he didn't ride the bus. Doesn't matter.

So picture freckled, pig-tailed, Kindergarten!Jenny (I spelled my name with a 'y' then; it wasn't until 4th grade that I changed it to 'ie' because I thought it was more original) sitting by herself on the bus, her little plastic lunchbox (with matching thermos) at her side, staring out the window and daydreaming.

The bus stops. Kids get off. Jenny stays where she is. The bus stops a few more times. Does Jenny move?

No.

It isn't until the bus driver takes the bus back to the school parking lot (or wherever they keep the schoolbuses when they're not using them) that he noticed me still sitting by myself.

Or something like that. I vaguely remember a time where I was the only kid on the bus, but I'm not really sure how I got back home or anything.

It must have been very traumatizing for me not to remember it.

Doesn't stop my parents from laughing about it, though.

Thanks Mom and Dad.

So, now you all can see that I've always been lacking in common sense.

At least since I was five, anyway. I may have been a very sensible toddler.

testost! -- eronie! . . . the san francisco treat! (like the commercial, get it?)

I feel like such a girl. After playing cyber pool (and we all know that pool is all testosterony) with Beau (and winning only one game) I'm watching Sex and the City and reading Cosmo. Good times. This is my idea of heaven.

Well, maybe not heaven. But something really good, though.

you build the ark, i'll gather the animals

It's been raining like crazy here all night. I got really pissed earlier because I was trying to watch a movie (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, which was messed up times ten) and every half hour there'd be some Flash Flood alert. Hello? Cable people? Those of us who are watching movies aren't likely to be the ones who get stuck in a big puddle because we're too dumb to turn around instead of driving through it.

I went to the library earlier. And I was excited about it too, proving once and for all that I am, in fact, a giant nerd. I think we all suspected as much.

to fantasia and diana: shut up shut up SHUT UP

I'm so glad American Idol is over tonight. My sister is watching it (very loudly) in the living room and I keep hearing loud, off-key, glory-noted singing. Someone just completely butchered the national anthem. I think my ears are bleeding. I kind of feel like a hypocrite, because I know last year I watched the show religiously. Of course, I only watched it for Clay Aiken.

I don't know if that helps my case or not, but there it is.

I do have good news. I read in the newspaper today that Fox is bringing Family Guy back. I'm so excited. I love that show. It's not starting until next summer, unfortunately, but still . . . very cool news.

the perfect man

I just got the American Cherry newsletter, and apparently they are going to be touring with a band called The Lloyd Dobler Effect. What a freaking awesome name for a band. For those of you who have sadly never seen Say Anything, Lloyd Dobler is the character played by John Cusack. He is also the perfect man. Lloyd Dobler, I mean. Not John Cusack. Not that I have anything against John Cusack, since he is the face of Lloyd Dobler.

Anyway.

So go rent Say Anything. Better yet, BUY it. You won't regret it.

AOL is evil

I miss DSL. A lot. Since I'm at home and there's no DSL here I have to resort to using AOL. I hate AOL. With a passion. I hadn't used it for so long that I still had AOL 7.0. So I tried to install 9.0 tonight. I should have just left it alone, because now my computer is all f-ed up and it won't let me uninstall the corrupted AOL files and it won't reinstall the new AOL files and I'm about ready to call and order DSL even though I can't really pay for it.

Oh, piss on it.

new wittenberg . . . or wittenberg the second, i haven't decided

I was just thinking (scary, I know) that if everyone is so sad to leave Wittenberg (or any college) what can we do about it?

I think I've come up with the answer. It's quite simple. Wittenberg just needs to buy some land in Montana or something and build a small community so seniors have somewhere to go after graduation. There will be, of course, a McMurray's 2 and a Station 2 (hee). We'll need a Wally Witt replacement . . . maybe Wilma Witt this time? We'll need a fountain to wade in, a seal to step over, and a hollow to streak. Kegs, since everyone will be over 21, will no longer be outlawed.

I really think this is the best option for everyone. And since Baird Tipson and Dean Debbie are currently unemployed, they could come and be the Mom and Dad of New Wittenberg.

Or something. I don't have all the details worked out yet.

So who's with me?

whoa (said in keanu reeves voice)

I just changed a whole mess a crap on this thing. I was going to go to bed, but then I started messing around with it and now it's magically 2:30 in the morning.

Whoops.

hit me with your best shot

I hate when you're trying not to think about something, and then out of the blue it just hits you, square in the gut. Not literally, of course.

I was just upstairs leaving a note for my mom, and I almost signed it "love, Bax." I feel like I'm not Bax anymore, I'm Jennie again. It's weird. I feel like I left this whole part of me with people at school. And in the real world, you don't get to use your nicknames. Not that I'm in the real world yet, but still, it sucks.

Also, I was watching Alias earlier (great episode, by the way, Vaughn = hotness, plus there was a great twist at the end) and I was completely into it (and if any of you watched it, you understand why, sorry about the parenthesis, I'll stop using them now) and I wasn't thinking about anything except how hot Vaughn is (I never said I'd stop talking about how hot Vaughn is--shit, I'm using parenthesis again . . . oops) when hot Vaughn's (hee) evil wife said something about a safe in Wittenberg.

Now, obviously she was talking about Germany, but it was another one of those moments of being hit in the gut by something you're trying not to think about. It was kind of odd that that happened at the precise moment Syd and hot Vaughn's evil wife were fighting and, you know, hitting each other in the gut.

I'm now realizing that this makes no sense if you don't watch Alias. Actually, even if you do it still probably doesn't make sense to anyone who does not reside in my brain.

And anyway, that's only me and Jorge.

It's starting to thunderstorm, so I should probably sign off before the computer explodes or does whatever bad thing it does when it storms. Goodnight for real this time.

PS: I just spell checked this, and it told me to replace "Vaughn" with "vaginas." Hee.

Shut up, you all know how immature I am.

what if?

I just watched Sex and the City and it made me miss everyone even more. Ok, so it probably wasn't a great idea to watch the one where Carrie leaves for Paris and they're all at dinner to say goodbye to her and she says "I had a thought, what if I had never met you?" to them and they just all cry and cry and cry so I did too.

On a brighter note, I'm almost completely unpacked. And I can actually walk through my room and sleep in my bed. It's a brand new day, people.

Well, not really, cause I'm going to bed now, so I suppose tomorrow is the brand new day.

Whatever.

Night!

bunch of crap

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I'm so sore from moving a bunch of crap around all day yesterday. It was all my crap, though, so I can't really complain.

Last night I had to move a bunch of it off of my bed so I could actually sleep there, and now there is nowhere to walk in my room. You kind of have to hop over things and stand on other things to maneuver your way around. And I don't want to unpack my school stuff until I go through my home stuff and throw a bunch of it away. The problem is, there's no room in there to find any of my home stuff. I think I'll just sleep on the couch all summer.

At this point I still don't feel like I'm here to stay for a while. Bleh. Unfortunately, if I try to go back to campus my apartment is empty and locked and I don't have a key.

Sorry that's all I've been talking about lately, but it just really, really sucks.

Ok, time to start unpacking.

If I don't post for a while, it means a tower of my stuff toppled over and buried me.

i feel blue

I had to say goodbye to too many people today. And even though I know it's not the last time I'll see them, it's the last time I'll be able to see them everyday. Our apartment looked so sad all empty today. I'm talking to Mary online right now, and it kills me that I can't just walk next door to talk to her. And I think getting in the car and driving to Chicago would be out of the question.

I'm so tired, from moving all day and crying and not getting enough sleep last night. My room is full of things that need to be unpacked or put away but I can't bring myself to do it. I keep thinking I'm just on summer break and I'll be moving back to campus in a few weeks.

Poop on this.

don't go to the grocery!

I'm moving out tomorrow. I don't think it's sunk in yet, mostly because the apartment is still pretty full. Stiffie and I still have stuff scattered anywhere, so the only room that has that sad, hollowy sound is Nicole's. Which sucks, but if we keep the door shut it's just like Nicole is taking a nap or something.

Whenever someone leaves, we've been saying that they're just going to the grocery.

They've been there for a while now. I don't think they're coming back.

BFF

Everyone is leaving! Make them stop!

I just want to say that I love my friends. Thanks for being so supportive. It means a lot to me.

I think we're going to Mike and Rosie's for dinner. Mmm. I think I've eaten there at least once a week for the past two months. I don't think that's healthy. Or normal.

bridget jones plus sex plus friends (it's not as interesting as it sounds, trust me)

Check this out. Awesome.

Also? TBS is my new favorite channel. At least it will be. In June. Because that is when TBS will be showing both Sex & the City and Bridget Jones's Diary.

Plus, they already show Friends reruns.

Perfection. It almost makes up for them showing one movie at 8 PM . . . 10 PM . . . and midnight. And again at 2 AM.

but i am le tired

It really doesn't feel like Monday. Which I guess is a good thing, right?

Has everyone seen this? If you haven't, you need to. Even if you are le tired. If you want to know what that means, than just watch this already.

You won't regret it. Trust me.

Katie Jo visited this weekend and it was mucho fun. Just like old times. And now we're all old.

I forget what else I was going to talk about. Whoops. My bad.

i heart ross gellar

I think I watched too much Friends this week, because last night I had a dream that I was at a dance or something, and everyone wanted to dance with Ross Gellar.

Weird, I know.

get back to work

I've gotten several complaints that I'm not updating this as often as I should be. Apparently people have been wanting to procrastinate and they've had nowhere to go. Far be it for me to inhibit a procrastinator's right to crastinate. No, I don't know what that means either.

So, here. This doesn't really say anything. But you had to read it, which means you put off studying/writing a paper/looking for a job for at least thirty seconds.

You're welcome.

mi'ja!

I really wonder what the writers of Passions are smoking. Some of their storylines are so ridiculous, even for a soap opera. As of this moment, Teresa had a miscarriage so she's no longer carrying Gwen and Ethan's baby, but her logic has led her to believe she must now sleep with Ethan in order to become pregnant with his baby. All this is in the hopes that they will give her her son back after acting like a crazy person.

There are just so many things wrong with that particular storyline that I don't even know where to begin.

And yet, I'm still watching the show.

Interesting.

Mi'ja!

NYC, here we come

Apparently Heidi, Hollie and I are leaving for New York City tonight since two of our favorite shows are set there (Friends and Sex in the City). Heidi decided what characters we would be from one of those shows so we're headed to NYC to become them.

Seriously.

We're leaving tonight when Hollie gets off work.

Any takers?

little known fact

Did you know that in Springfield one of the NBC affiliates reruns that night's episode of Conan O'Brien at 3 AM?

Well, ya do now.

go, mulder, go!

Here I am, once again still awake even though it's almost 2 AM, and I have a lot of work to do. Unfortunately, there's a really good episode of The X-Files on so it's making it really hard to concentrate on revising stuff for my portfolio.

It's the one where this dude kidnaps Scully and drives around with her in the trunk of his car, and Mulder is all crazy-gotta-find-Scully-no-time-for-sleep and Krycek is his partner at the time and it's all his fault that Mulder doesn't get to Scully in time (cause Mulder is riding this, like, airtram thing and Krycek knocks the controller guy out so Mulder gets out and totally hangs from the side because he's a huge jackass and he almost dies but then eventually he gets to the other side . . . or something, it's not important cause he doesn't get to her in time anyway) to stop her alien abduction. Or abduction by the government who are pretending to be aliens. I'm not really sure what happened exactly.

And, yes, if you were wondering, I am a huge nerd.

g phi b, what

I just went to my last Gamma Phi Beta meeting ever. Now I have lots to do on my portfolio. And a secret event later.

Mondays blow.

'ello, guv'nah

I think I'm going to start speaking with a British accent from now on. Just to mess with people.

Cherrio, guv'nah!

jennie needs sleepy

I can't sleep. I'm tired (although, considering what time I finally got out of bed today, I shouldn't be) but I just keep lying in bed not sleeping. So much is happening right now, and I have so much to do, but all I want to do is hang out with my friends, or better yet, hide under my covers curled up in the fetal position. I'm absolutely terrified about next year, or screwing up, and even though I know I'm not alone in this, I don't really know what to do about it.

Aside from writing a best-selling novel and becoming fabulously rich and famous, of course.

I think I'm going to try this sleep thing again. Goodnight.

bitch fest oh fo'

I am so unmotivated right now. And I need to be productive, since I haven't done anything productive all weekend. Friday was moon day, which basically meant a really, really big party. It was a lot of fun, even though it rained. I think.

Yesterday was Witt Fest, which we ended up calling Bitch Fest '04 because all we did most of the day was bitch. But it was fun bitching, so it was OK. What sucked the most was that instead of setting up the stage on Stoughton Lawn they held all the bands in the gym. Witt Fest just isn't the same when it's not outside. Vanilla Ice was the headliner, and we got there before he started, but Janna and I were all ADD so we left to go see American Cherry at McMurray's. Thank god, because it was much more fun than hanging around the stuffy gym waiting to hear Ice, Ice Baby. There are many milestones in life, and I'm pretty sure that's not one of them.

This week is the last week of classes, and it's not even a full week. Wednesday is the last day. How completely tragic.