is this your stop, miss? no, really, is it?

I hate when you see someone you haven't seen for a really long time, and when you see them you don't look your best. Of course, that seems to be the only time you ever see someone like that.

Today at Kohl's I saw the lady who used to baby-sit me from when I was a baby until I was in kindergarten. It was 2 in the afternoon. I was wearing jeans and a ratty, faded t-shirt. I hadn't showered. I looked so pretty, let me tell you. I'm sure I made quite the impression, especially since I didn't recognize her at first. So she's probably thinking, "Oh, so she turned into a dumbass. A dumbass who smells. Good to know."

Not that I didn't do my share of dumbass things while under her care. Believe me, I did plenty. More than I remember, I'm sure. For instance, when they were digging a hole in their backyard for a pool, I decided to climb down into it. I got my shorts stuck on a nail and had to sit there until someone noticed that they hadn't seen me in a while. I didn't even try shouting for anyone.

Because I am, and always have been, a dumbass.

Another example? This is probably the most embarrassing, even though I was only 5. When I was in kindergarten, I rode the bus to school and back. The details of the event I'm about to tell you are a little fuzzy (I was only 5, remember) but it doesn't really matter . . . the point is that I was stupid.

I think I normally had a friend that used the same bus stop that I did, and I depended on him to tell me when it was time to get off the bus in the afternoon. Well, one day he was sick or something, or for some reason he didn't ride the bus. Doesn't matter.

So picture freckled, pig-tailed, Kindergarten!Jenny (I spelled my name with a 'y' then; it wasn't until 4th grade that I changed it to 'ie' because I thought it was more original) sitting by herself on the bus, her little plastic lunchbox (with matching thermos) at her side, staring out the window and daydreaming.

The bus stops. Kids get off. Jenny stays where she is. The bus stops a few more times. Does Jenny move?

No.

It isn't until the bus driver takes the bus back to the school parking lot (or wherever they keep the schoolbuses when they're not using them) that he noticed me still sitting by myself.

Or something like that. I vaguely remember a time where I was the only kid on the bus, but I'm not really sure how I got back home or anything.

It must have been very traumatizing for me not to remember it.

Doesn't stop my parents from laughing about it, though.

Thanks Mom and Dad.

So, now you all can see that I've always been lacking in common sense.

At least since I was five, anyway. I may have been a very sensible toddler.