Friday, November 11, 2005

blood and kisses

Last night I watched ER for the first time since, I don't know, Carter was still likeable. And I don't know if ER has always been that . . . explicit, or if it has just gotten more disgusting. I don't know. I don't remember anyone other than John Leguizamo twitching a poo-covered (and glove-covered, thank god) finger around and then wiping said poo on a patient's nose but maybe I blocked it out.

The show also included a little girl having her chest cut RIGHT THE HELL OPEN and oh yeah . . . the man who kidnapped her and raped her? He got his chest cut open, too, and as they wheeled him away to surgery the floor was no longer a calming beige but BRIGHT BLOOD RED. The thing is, it didn't really gross me out but it just seemed gratuitous. ER has always been bloody, I mean duh, but it seems like they focus on it more now. Like, "Ooooh, look at how much blood there is, doesn't it look serious? Are you worried? No? Because you don't know the character's name and also you don't care if they live or die? Oh, but look, now you can see his heart! Look, it's all pumpy pumpy bloody bloody! Creepy!"

I stopped watching the show when Dr. Romano was crushed like a cartoon character by the same helicopter that cut off his arm. OH MY GOD was that stupid. I'm sorry, is he Captain Hook now? Are the surgeons his merry band of pirates? Actually, I think I turned off the TV and threw my remote in disgust the minute the helicopter came crashing down on his stupid, bald head.

Actually, the only reason I watched last night was because I saw a preview of Luka and Abby kissing and if there is ANYTHING that will get me to watch a TV show it is two people getting together. It doesn't matter who. If the US version of The Office wasn't funny (which, thank you baby Jesus, it is) I'd probably still watch because I want Jim and Pam to get together. I watched The X-Files because I wanted Mulder and Scully to get together. Alias? Sydney and Vaughn. Other ER couplings? Abby and Carter, Mark and Susan, George Clooney and what's-her-name. Friends? Monica and Chandler. What? You thought I was going to say Ross and Rachel, didn't you? Well, yeah, them too.

I figure, if I don't have any romance in my own life I can at least live vicariously through, you know, pretend people. Sigh.

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