it's the end of the year as we know it (so sorry for that)

Up until just a few years ago, I was fairly certain I'd never reach the day where I'd be completely fine with having no plans on New Years Eve. But here we are, almost completely plan-less, and I couldn't be happier. Our plan for the day, such as it was, included going out to breakfast and...that's pretty much it. We went to Trader Joe's last night to buy wine and snacks for tonight and that's as planned as we've gotten so far. 

I'm not sure if you're aware, but there's a Doctor Who marathon on BBC America today, but since Joe got the entire Doctor Who DVD collection (BE JEALOUS) for Christmas, we're having our own marathon by just picking out random episodes we want to watch. WE ARE FAR SUPERIOR TO YOU, BBC.

This past week or two has been so odd, what with the four day weekend for Christmas then another four day weekend for New Years and a bonus snow day in between. I'm not even sure what day it is anymore, which is going to make going back to work on Wednesday SUPER FUN but such is life, yeah? Such is life.

It's been a strange year. I guess. I say that every year. Today, I'd intended to write about my resolutions from last year and where I stood with them but it turns out I didn't write any resolutions last year. Which is just as well, really, because I'm not sure I'd have made much headway on any of them. Such is life. Did I already say that? Oh well. SUCH IS LIFE, JERKS. 

I'd make some resolutions for next year, but they're pretty much always the same. Write more. Exercise more. Cook healthier food. Watch less TV (PFFT). GET SHIT TOGETHER. I think the problem with these resolutions is that it's not possible, really, to achieve them. How do I know if I've written enough MORE or not quite enough MORE or just the right amount of MORE? SPECIFICITY, that's the key. So here goes:

1. Finish editing the novel I wrote like three years ago. I'm sure it's absolutely dreadful, first draft and all, which is probably why I can't bring myself to look at it OH ALSO editing is awful. But apparently, magical editing elves aren't going to take care of it, so that just leaves me.

2. Participate in Cannonball Read V. It was way fun this past year, even though I didn't make it to 52 reviews. BUT WHO CARES. I still wrote 34 more reviews than I ever have before. If you're at all interested in reading any of them, here they are. It's hard to tell, really, because I haven't gone back to read any of them, but I hope they got better as the year went on. And two of them were published on Pajiba, which is super exciting, so why WOULDN'T I participate again?

3. Run a 5K. Because why not? I'm putting this on here mostly because "run more" is a shitty resolution.

4. Actually use all the cookbooks I have, by cooking AT LEAST one recipe a month from one of them. I mean, come on, Jennie, get it together.

5. Get another dog YEAH JOE, WE'RE TOTALLY GETTING ANOTHER ONE.

6. Continue my FutureMe project. PROJECT makes it sound like I've thought it all out, but really I'm just writing a FutureMe email to myself once a week. I look forward to getting to start reading them this June. 

That's all I can think of. So. You're welcome that there aren't more you have to read. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

so this is the new year...

I'm not very good at making resolutions. Scratch that. I'm REALLY good at making resolutions, but not so good at keeping them. I feel no shame in admitting this, because who is good at keeping resolutions? I mean, I suppose if you set tiny resolutions, like, I don't know, buying a new set of curtains, it's pretty easy to keep them, so maybe that's the way to go?

I'm fairly certain that my main problem is making my resolutions too broad. Also, calling them resolutions totally bites, so I'm going to call them goals instead. That seems much healthier, really, because aren't we all supposed to have goals? Or, like, a five year plan? I need to get one of those, too. So here are some of my goals for 2010. Specific goals, not generic goals like to lose weight and save money because DUH those are great goals but how will I do that? Oh, wait, here's how SUCKERS! Sorry. Anyway.

1. Get up earlier before work. This will be difficult because of my new work schedule, which gives me every other Friday off, but in return, I have to get to the office earlier every day. I think I can do it, though. Does anyone know how to disable the snooze button on an alarm clock?
2. Work out in the mornings. I have done this several times in the past, and even though I always want to die when I'm dragging myself out of bed, I feel so much better all day when I work out in the morning. PLUS I get the satisfaction of knowing that I can come home from work and do nothing, or better yet...
3. Cook a healthy dinner. I actually really like doing this, when I do it. This means I'll need to:
4. Go to the grocery more often. I hate going to the grocery. HATE IT. But I like having food in the apartment. CONUNDRUM. Actually, no, it's not a conundrum, I just need to go to the grocery more than once a month.
   
5. Plan more meals so I don't walk back and forth from the cupboards to the fridge to the freezer for half an hour, trying to decide what to make for dinner, and then end up ordering pizza because I can't figure out what else to do.
   
6. Pay more attention to how much I'm spending at the grocery store, rather than throwing things haphazardly in the cart and then wondering at checkout how I just spent $95 on a week's worth of groceries.
7. Don't go out to eat during the week. NO! Just don't. Unless it's a special occasion, like someone's birthday.
   
8. Watch less TV. This might be difficult, as I haven't been watching all that much anyway, but I think it can be done.
   
9. Spend less time dicking around on the Internets when I'm at home. That's what work is for.
   
10. Revise that pile of crap I wrote in November. Set aside 20 or 30 minutes a day to work on it, even if I really don't want to, because that's how it got written in the first place, DUH, Jennie, you're an idiot.
11. Join the Biggest Loser competition that the apartment complex is organizing (check!) and actually, I don't know, try instead of flaking out halfway through.
    
12. Run a 5K.
13. Write more thank you notes.
    
14. Go to the library more, instead of buying books all the time.
    
15. Drink more milk, eat more fruits and veggies.
    
16. Don't procrastinate so much. HAHAHAHAHA. But no, seriously, otherwise I'll end up sending wedding invitations two days before the wedding.
    
17. Eat breakfast before work, so I'm not starving when I get there because then I make bad choices. Like, chocolate donut with chocolate icing and sprinkles bad choices.
    
18. Dude, that's totally enough goals, STOP NOW.
    

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

First things first.

1. Happy New Year

2. Happy Birthday, Sister

I am at work today, although my body tried to hold me hostage and NOT get out of bed. I also went to bed at like 7 o'clock last night. Sort of. I needed, um, a lot of recovery from Wednesday night's festivities. I think I learned some important lessons that night. One, if you cannot even read the words to a song on Rock Band, it's probably time to go to bed. Two, if you have been drinking champagne and rum & cokes all evening, don't mix your own drinks. Or BETTER YET, stop drinking and go to bed. Things reached ridiculous levels that night. Jon spun Miguel around in circles and then Miguel ran headfirst into the bookcase. True story. It's on video. Also. I said things like this:

Technology ruins EVERYTHING.

And this:

Joe: Do you want some water?
Me: No, I'll wait for them to bring ice cubes.
Joe: ...what? Who is bringing ice cubes?
Me: [unintelligible]

I don't really remember that last part, but Joe assures me that it happened.

Anyway, around 1:30, Heidi, Joe, and I managed to drag ourselves to Wendy's, and then home. I was supposed to be at my parents' house around 4 and getting ready was like torture, which is why I ended up going over there in my pajamas. Honestly, they're lucky I showered. Then I ate way too many mashed potatoes, felt like dying, and so I went home to die in my own bed. Good times.

Deep Thoughts (not really)

So, it's that time of year where you're supposed to think about what an awful person you've been all year, and what you're going to do in the coming year to change that. I do this every year, I think. It's usually the same things: write more, eat healthier, drink less, be nicer to people, stop procrastinating, blah blah blah, and then I forget about them as soon as they're posted. So, instead of making resolutions, I'm just going to answer these questions. I did it last year. You should do it, too, so I have something to read later.

Real post to come...later...if I feel like it...so probably not. Anyway:

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

Tried to blog for 365 days straight. Then I quit my blog.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

This is as close as I came to making resolutions last year. I did not get married or pregnant, so score!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My favorite RA from college had a baby! So did my 17-year-old cousin. Oops.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Poor Bo.

5. What countries did you visit?

America?

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A baby penguin.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 4th AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't fall down as much.

9. What was your biggest failure?

DOWNER.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Lots. I said I didn't fall down as much, but I didn't say I didn't fall down at ALL.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine. What? I don't know.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

THIS GUY.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Target and Threadless.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

See question 7.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

I'm sure there IS one, but I can't think of it right now. So instead of thinking any longer (my head hurts), I'm going to stop and move on.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? Happier
ii. Thinner or fatter? About the same, I think
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer, but not by much

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Writing. Reading.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Working.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Um, I already did this, douchebitch.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Duh.

22. How many one-night stands?

Um, none.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

The Office. Or Pushing Daisies.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. I try to hate sometimes, but it doesn't last long.

25. What was the best book you read?

Not Atonement, that's for damn sure.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Vampire Weekend, which I don't think counts, because Kat told me about them. But she always knows the good bands first.

27. What did you want and get?

An iPod. A new computer. A new phone. A new president.

28. What did you want and not get?

A new job.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

WALL-E!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was 26 and forgot to celebrate my birthday this year. Or I ran out of time. Either way, oops.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

T-shirts. And more t-shirts.

32. What kept you sane?

To Do lists.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Um, duh, Jim Halpert.

Question 34 was missing. Sorry. You can make up a question if you want and maybe I'll answer it.

35. Who did you miss?

You.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

This question is mean. I love all the new people I met this year.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

Never throw anything out. You may need it for your blog one day. BONUS LESSON: don't crack open really old nuts.

miss almost, miss maybe, miss halfway

Heidi is working her other job tonight (on the corner . . . ZING! Jennie shut up) so I've been getting lots accomplished. Here is what I've done:

Went to the grocery. Bought salad, Q-tips, and chapstick.
Made dinner. Consisting of leftover chicken cut up on top of salad and french fries. French fries not in salad, but on side.
Finished my book.
Contemplated started a new one.
Watched House instead.
Dicked around on the Internets reading blogs and trying to figure out how to pronounce "Sufjan."
SERIOUSLY someone tell me, I'm sick of being afraid to try and say it because I'm going to say it wrong.

That's it. I didn't go to the gym. I didn't do anything productive, except OOH I paid one bill. Go me. Because when Heidi is not here I come home and put on my pajamas and revert to the hermit lady I once was when I lived alone. And what is wrong with being a crazy hermit lady, I want to know.

Anyway, it's been a weird year so far, yeah? Yeah. Thanks for agreeing with me. Since I am not doing anything productive this evening, I thought I'd take stock of the resolutions I made AAAAALL the way back in January. If you don't like it, you can just GO AWAY (please don't) or read it and complain in the comments or something. I don't care. I was going to answer more questions but I got tired of all the soul-crushing and truth-telling. Ha, no, I don't really know what I'm talking about either. So . . . let's do this thing.

Write more (this blog doesn't count as writing, since I am basically just spewing word salad everywhere)

Ha! This hasn't happened and I actually accidentally deleted Microsoft Office from my computer. Yes, accidentally. That will teach me to try and clean up my computer after drinking half a bottle of wine.

Eat better (because dinners consisting of pb&j and applesauce are not cutting it)

Actually, we've been doing a lot better with this! I say we, because Heidi makes me buy actual food at the grocery and cook it. Left to my own devices, I'd eat Hot Pockets and chips and salsa every night.

For that matter, learn to cook. Because the pictures Kat takes of her food are so pretty.

This is kind of working. Remember that time I made banana bread?! It was SO. GOOD. You don't even know. Well, some of you do. The rest of you don't, though. Sorry. (Heh, sorry, Sorry . . . like five people got that.) There was a minor setback when Heidi and I tried to make prime rib, but once it finally finished cooking, that tasted pretty damn good, too.

Stop procrastinating as much (we'll see how that goes, seeing as how I waited til the 4th to make any resolutions)

HAHAHAHA!

Don't get pregnant (so far, so good)

No babies.

Don't get married in Vegas (so far, so good)

No husbands.

or anywhere else (so far, so good)

I said no husbands. Pay attention.

Don't get bitten by a zombie (so far, so good)

I don't think so, although that would explain the whole not sleeping thing. See: Yesterday.

Clean the apartment more often (yeah, we'll see)

Who knows? There are no piles of garbage anywhere or families of cockroaches under the stove so I'm putting this one in the win column. Yes, there are columns.

Go to the doctor when sick instead of trying to treat self with a combination of denial, naps, and lots of self-medicating

But the self-medicating is the best part! What was I thinking?

Spend fewer hours dicking around on the Internets

Again, I say, HAHAHAHA!

Take more pictures

Done and DONE

Travel somewhere other than Chicago (any suggestions?)

Heh. Done and DONE. And then some.

Visit Chicago at least twice, though

Not yet. Give me time. GIVE ME TIME I SAID.

Stop calling Phoebe names like slut, whore, bitch, pussy, slutbag, etc. even though SHE TOTALLY DESERVES IT

Never gonna happen.

OK, so I'm not going to lie to you guys. I went back in my archives (archives sounds so pretentious) to look for the prime rib incident (different than The Noodle Incident) and I just kept reading and reading because I honestly have forgotten writing most of it. I don't know what that's about. I didn't write all of it drunk or anything. Maybe bits and pieces but not three months worth. It reminded me of the other night when Heidi read me this old e-mail she found that I sent like a year and a half ago to tell everyone my new phone number, only I kept rambling on and on about gorillas and pirates and gorilla pirates. I think I have some sort of brain disorder. I'd better go watch more House.

the one with all the resolutions

Everyone else is doing it, so I'm going to give into peer pressure and make some resolutions. I only made one last year, and I completed a third of it. Whoohoo! Hey! It's better than nothing! Leave me alone! Anyway.

• Write more (this blog doesn't count as writing, since I am basically just spewing word salad everywhere)
• Eat better (because dinners consisting of pb&j and applesauce are not cutting it)
• For that matter, learn to cook. Because the pictures Kat takes of her food are so pretty. Also, see above. This website should help (thanks, Kat) but any others (maybe more dumbed down?) would be greatly appreciated.
• Stop procrastinating as much (we'll see how that goes, seeing as how I waited til the 4th to make any resolutions)
• Don't get pregnant (so far, so good)
• Don't get married in Vegas (so far, so good)
• or anywhere else (so far, so good)
• Don't get bitten by a zombie (so far, so good)
• Clean the apartment more often (yeah, we'll see)
• Go to the doctor when sick instead of trying to treat self with a combination of denial, naps, and lots of self-medicating
• Spend fewer hours dicking around on the Internets
• Take more pictures
• Travel somewhere other than Chicago (any suggestions?)
• Visit Chicago at least twice, though
• Stop calling Phoebe names like slut, whore, bitch, pussy, slutbag, etc. even though SHE TOTALLY DESERVES IT

I can't think of any more and really I think that's a sufficient number of resolutions to completely ignore for the remainder of the year.