Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jennie. Jennie took a writing class in high school and the teacher was all, "write a children's book," and Jennie was like, "I can do this, I work at a library and spend the majority of my time there reading picture books," and then the teacher was like, "also, illustrate it," and Jennie was all, "fuck!" and then, "I will make the pictures out of construction paper!" And then a bunch of years passed and Abigail told Jennie to find this book. So Jennie found this book. (Abigail is bossy, but she gets results.)
I have provided the words under each picture in case you can't make them out. I'd hate for you to miss them. My comments are at the very end.
A long time ago, before humans were in charge, colors ruled the earth. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. They were all very powerful, but each Color thought he was more powerful than the others were.
"I am the best," said Blue. "I am the ocean and the sky. I am the calm that is carried on the gentle breeze. That is why I am the best."
"How boring!" Red cried. "I am Christmas and the smell of cinnamon. I am welcome anger that comes like a quick storm."
"That's nothing," Violet said. "I am the slurpy taste of grape juice on a hot day. I am the best, because I am the sharing that comes after the anger."
"You are all wrong," Indigo chimed in. "I am the best. I am the first flower that appears when the winter snow melts. I am clarity that spreads after a season of confusion."
"Well, I am spring!" shouted Green. "I am a frog that takes shape out of a floating lily pad and the miles upon miles of grass covered fields. So I am the best."
"I am definitely better than all of you," Orange said. "I am the sunrise and a Halloween pumpkin. I am autumn, so I am the best."
"Ha!" Yellow cried. "I am the sun and the moon and the stars. I am happiness. None of you can beat that! I am the greatest."
"Excuse me, please," a gentle voice said from the sky. "I am trying to sleep. Please try to be a little quieter."
"Why should we?" Red shouted. "We are Colors! We don't HAVE to be quiet! Who do you think you are, anyway?"
"Well," the voice began. "I am Cloud. I have always been here and will always be here. You may think you are the greatest, just because you are a Color, but I am the only one who can bring all of you together."
With that said, Cloud turned black and fierce. White lightning made up her hair and she began to weep. Her tears covered the earth until everything sparkled.
Cloud finished crying and became white again. The Colors shot out of her middle, all working together to create a rainbow. Puddles of her tears on the ground turned red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.
Wow. Just . . . wow. I'm pretty sure, at the time, I thought I was being really deep, which . . . no. The Colors are all assholes and why is the Cloud all up in their business? Also, Indigo is full of shit. That sure looks like pink to me. But what I think happened is THEY DON'T MAKE INDIGO CONSTRUCTION PAPER AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT UNTIL AFTER I WROTE THE STORY AND CUT OUT HALF OF THE PICTURES AND BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE BLAAAAAAARGH.
And no one threw a knife at anyone? LAME.
Today on The Collective, Kat outs herself as a bit of a stalker.