On Saturday, I went to Ikea with one objective: to find new dinnerware. Also, cups. Also, a toothbrush holder. Oh, and also maybe a picture to hang in the living room.
I did not find any of these things. Well, I found some little juice glasses. And some cards with rubber duckie faces on them that cost more than the juice glasses. All in all, I waited in a 900 foot line to buy three things for a grand total of $14.00.
Ikea, I am not impressed. I LOOOOOOOVED Ikea when we went to the one in Schaumberg. I wouldn't shut up about it. Here, let me show you the not shutting up. However, when we went to the Ikea in Schaumberg, I wasn't looking for anything in particular. I just gazed in wonder at the array of household crap laid out before me. This leads me to believe that Ikea is a much more pleasurable experience when you're NOT actually looking for something. Or the Ikea in West Chester just sucks. Either way, I was sort of bummed UNTIL . . .
I realized that we'd be driving through Mason. And Mason is where McAlister's Deli is. I used to get McAlister's all the time when I worked in Mason, but there aren't any of those around Dayton because Dayton hates me. Anyway, I knew it was off a certain exit, but I couldn't remember exactly where it was because I am directionally handicapped. We got off the exit and it went something like this:
Me: I don't think it's on this road.
Joe: OK, we'll find it.
Me: It might be on this whole other road.
Joe: Let's just keep driving.
Me: OK. I don't see it. Hey, there's Ruby Tuesday! "Gooooooodbye, Ruby Tuesday . . ."
Joe: Are those the only words you know?
Me: . . . NO. "Who could something rain on you?"
Joe: Um, no. It's, "who could hang a name on you?"
Me: Whatever. Do you see McAlister's?
Joe: No. Let's drive through this shopping center.
Me: OK. I don't see it. Where is it? I don't see it.
Joe: Do you just want to go to Ruby Tuesday?
Me: Yeah, OK.
Joe: Let me turn around.
Me: OH MY GOD THERE IT IS!
Me: Look! Look! McAlister's! Across the street!
Joe: You scared the crap out of me.
Me: Sorry. BUT LOOK!
Then I got sweet tea and it was good. The end.