Today when I got home from work, Phoebe scampered all around me and meowed really loud and then ran up and down the stairs a couple times and then did a few laps around the apartment and I thought it was because she was excited to see me, but it turns out she was just trying to work up a good twosie. She does this almost every day, usually waiting until I sit down to check my e mail to take a giant poo in her litter box (which is about five feet from my computer). You'd think I'd learn that the only time she is excited to see me is if her food dish is empty, but you'd be wrong.
Yesterday I got the Girl Scout cookies I'd completely forgotten I'd ordered. In the past two days I have eaten approximately 10.8 million thin mints. I have been sitting here for the past twenty minutes trying to work up the motivation to go to the gym WHILE EATING THIN MINTS. The fat girl inside of me is out of control. I briefly considered eating the rest of the Girl Scout cookies left in the apartment but didn't because A) I already feel like I'm going to throw up, B) I think they frown upon throwing up on the elliptical at the gym, and C) Heidi would kill me. You wanna know what else? America's Next Top Model is starting RIGHT NOW and I can't watch it because A) It's TiVoing, B) I hate watching commercials because TiVo has spoiled me forever, and C) Heidi would kill me. Because she's not home and I'm pretty sure if I went ahead and gorged myself on both Girl Scout cookies AND Miss Tyra AND Nigel Barker AND Mr. Jay without her? She would never forgive me.
Today on the way home from work I drove past some guy who was flossing while driving. That is something I've never seen before. For realsies. This entry sucks and I apologize. I'll try to think of some way to make it up to you. Any suggestions? Do you like thin mints*?
*TOO BAD YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM
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