Happy Valentine's Day, everyone, if you're into that sort of thing. I forgot about it until this morning, when I saw the long-ago purchased, recently-forgotten The Office Valentine's Day Cards sitting on my desk. I gave out three of them in a moment of drunken motivation (the best kind of motivation, you know) but that was weeks ago. Far too early, if you ask me.
Remember how yesterday I decided to let that stupid groundhog live? Well, his days are numbered. I have to go back to work today. Granted, not until this afternoon because every business or school in this area is on, like, a five hour delay or closed. Because here is what happened. We got a shitload of snow. And then we had freezing rain all day yesterday. So, earlier this morning I went out to clean off my car. Which WOULD have been really easy if it had just been snow, but unfortunately the seven inches of snow were encased in a two inch layer of ice, so I had to break the ice into little pieces before I could scoop it off of my car. At one point, I broke off a big shard that was in the exact shape of Ohio. I wish I'd taken a picture because I know you think I'm lying BUT I'M NOT WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME? Faux-hio fell on the ground and was still intact and I thought about how I had just spent the past 30 minutes beating snow and ice into submission and as I stood there getting angrier and angrier I did what any normal person would do . . . I used my handy ice scraper and smacked the shit out of Faux-hio and then stomped on all the little pieces and then I kicked all the even-littler pieces until they flew every which way and then I went inside and took several deep breaths until I felt better.
Happy Valentine's Day!
*obligatory V-Day love song lyric . . . how original