Well, I didn't get a good look at his face. I'm not made of eyes!

Sometimes it takes me like an hour to send out a five sentence e-mail. BECAUSE I want to make sure that A) none of the words are spelled wrong, B) it all makes as much sense as possible, and C) I have squeezed as much information into as few sentences as possible. I do this because I have the tendency to babble. I'm not sure if you've noticed this. Heh. I have to hold myself back most of the time when I email people because if I don't, I will write and write and write and it will all be about NOTHING. And I doubt that anyone has time to read that. I do the same thing on voicemails. Ask anyone. Usually I just talk until the voicemail lady cuts me off because I can never think of how to end my message.

What was I talking about? Right, babbling. So last night I went running. And I was going to shave my legs because . . . wow, seriously, they were gross, but then I figured that since it was dark outside and no one would be able to see anything, I'd just say "screw it" and go anyway. I suppose I could have worn pants instead of shorts but it was too hot for pants. And did I mention? It was dark? Really dark. So dark that when I was running around the pond I'd hate to know what I looked like because I was trying to dodge the huge piles of goose poop but BECAUSE OF THE DARKNESS I couldn't see the huge piles of goose poop until the very last minute so I was weaving around them like a drunk person who just got spun around in one of those things the astronauts train in. You know the ones I mean. The spinny thing. That like . . . makes their faces smush backwards? You know? Whatever.

So the other day I saw this picture of President Douche and he was wearing Crocs. Hold on, I will try to find it. Here it is. Not only is he wearing the ugliest shoes known to mankind, HE IS WEARING THEM WITH SOCKS. As much as I absolutely hate these shoes (and don't even find them that comfortable . . . and I know this because we tried them on and made fun of them in a shoe store in Nashville), I do find it somewhat comforting that, in addition to pretty much everything else in the world, the President and I also disagree on what shoes are acceptable to WEAR IN PUBLIC WHEN YOU ARE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. He should not be encouraging people to wear these. Kids look up to him, right? I mean, because he's the President. Not because he's George W. Bush. Even kids know enough not to look up to Dubya. Ha! I kid, I kid. No, I don't.

Do you see what I mean about the babbling?