Did you know today is Halloween? Well, it is. I realize how you could get confused. I mean, I already celebrated it over the weekend. And for some reason Beggars Night was last night instead of tonight. Heidi informs me that it's because some people go to church on Wednesdays. Well, let's see here. Do you think the people who don't want to miss church on Wednesdays are the same people who are going to be trick-or-treating?
Last night, I mooched dinner off my parents and helped them pass out candy to all the tiny children. It was funny, because they took the windows out of the screen door so it was all open and every time kids would come up to the door, Ripley (the dog) would poke her head out and stick her nose into their buckets. Some of the kids were like, "eh, whatever, a dog GIMME CANDY," but other kids were all, "OH UNHOLY BEAST! REMOVE THY NOSE FROM MY PILE OF CANDY OR I SHALL CRY AND FALL DOWN AND MAYBE POO A LITTLE IN MY PANTS."
We were allowed to dress up today at work, and yesterday I came up with a BRILLIANT idea for a costume. I was going to wear my devil horns and tail and carry around my pitchfork and write "PRADA" on a shirt. Get it? GET IT? The Devil Wears Prada? Only, by the time we got home last night, after passing out candy and going to the gym, I didn't feel like getting it all together. So INSTEAD I am wearing Heidi's Peyton Manning jersey (she offered me her Bengals jersey, but if my dad found out I was wearing a Bengals jersey, he'd disown me) and jeans. See, it's better because we don't have casual Fridays so we're never allowed to wear jeans and so this is my way of rebelling. DAMN THE MAN.
BONUS: Conversation with my roommate . . .
Heidi: Here's my jersey.
Heidi: No problem.
Me: Peyton Manning is the quarterback, right?
Heidi: Sigh. Yes.
So apparently I agreed to do this thing where I post something to my blog every day in November. Why I agreed to do this, I have no idea. Maybe I was drunk. Anyway, I need to come up with a plan so I'm not posting crap like this every day. So I don't know why I'm wasting all this time talking to YOU people. That is all.