Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Yikes. I've been trying so hard not to think about graduation. I think I thought that if I just pretended it was still really far away, then the day would never come. I don't really know if I feel ready to graduate. I don't really know what I want to do after graduation. I have different ideas, but nothing that I feel really excited about anymore. I'm tired of the whole "college schedule," and I'm ready to start doing something new, but I just don't know what that something is. Honestly, my dream job would be doing something like this. I'd love to write a column in a newspaper or something like that, as long as I didn't have to be all serious and write about politics and world issues.

Sometimes I want to stay in the Witt bubble forever. I'm not talking about the classes. I'm talking about the friends and the nights at the bar and hanging out at the Gamma Phi house. Everything is so safe here. Nothing too unexpected happens, and if it does there's a huge support system here for you. When I move away, get a real job, my boss isn't going to care that I'm having a bad day and all my friends will be spread around the country. It's going to be hard not being able to just walk across the street, or next door, or even downstairs, and know that there will be someone there to talk to.

I guess everything seems so uncertain right now. Juniors, sophomores, and freshmen are all scheduling their classes for next year. They know they'll be back here, with their friends, and I guess I'm just trying to come to terms with not knowing where I'll be at this time next year.

Well, I think I've depressed myself enough for today. I think I'm gonna go walk across the street, or next door, or downstairs, because I know there's going to be someone there going through the exact same thing I am right now, and hopefully we can repress it, continue living in denial, and pretend that we'll be back here next year and everything will always be this good.

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