I just got back from a very traumatic run. A bug. Flew in. My eye. MY EYE. THE THING I USE TO SEE. It was gross. Like, I was concentrating so hard on the bugs not flying in my mouth that I didn't even see it coming. Get it? SEE IT coming? Anyway, it was sort of good because I think it made me run faster because I just wanted to get home and make sure all the bug pieces were out of my eye.
Before I left, I called my mom to tell her I was going running by myself in the dark because, while I am borderline retarded, I am not so stupid to run off into the night without telling someone where I'm going.
When I got home, I called to tell her I was still alive, which led to this:
Mom: Are you back?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Did you run into Sexy Man or whatever you call him?
Me: Hot Guy*?
Mom: Yeah, him.
Me: No, Mom, I did not run into Hot Guy.
Mom: Too bad.
Me: Sorry.
Mom: Well, a mother can hope.
Me: You hope I meet a strange boy while running in the dark?
Mom: No, not a boy. A MAN.
Me: OK.
Mom: Although, I'd hope he wouldn't live in an apartment complex. He should have a house.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because that means he's established.
Me: I don't have a house. Why should I expect him to have a house if I don't have one?
Mom: Because that means he's mature. One of you needs to be.
Me: Thanks.
And then! She told me she didn't like The Shins! I might have to disown her. She said she'd rather listen to Spoon, which . . . fine, but that brought up another sore subject. Yesterday I found out that the Spoon concert I was going to go to was CANCELED. Because the band is going to be on SNL instead. I mean, come ON. Ohio vs. Saturday Night Live . . . OK, never mind, they did the right thing. I'm still pretty devastated, though. Stupid crap ass Ohio.
*although I DID see him earlier tonight . . . twice, even! Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Hot Guy found my blog? He'd be all, "oh my god, am I Hot Guy?" and then he'd get creeped out and move away. So I really hope he doesn't know about The Internets.
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