Wednesday, September 05, 2007

She's a maniac maniac on the floor, and she's dancing like she's never danced before

So apparently my last post was lame. Because I'm just some sort of dancing monkey here to amuse you all! I don't have feelings! Ooh, look at Jennie! Let's all point and laugh and throw quarters at her! STOP THROWING QUARTERS AT ME! Throw dollars, they don't hurt as much.

Um. Yeah, I don't know. I just spent waaaay too much time on here, trying to figure out exactly how far we ran last night and planning out new running routes. Call me a nerd, I don't care, but that thing is AWESOME. It even tells you how many calories you burned! Which is nice, because the only thing keeping me from running outside instead of at the gym on the treadmill was the fact that I wouldn't know how far I ran and I wouldn't know how many calories I burned, because I don't take tests anymore so I need to have something to use to berate myself when I fail miserably. For instance:

What the hell, Jennie?! You only burned 200 calories? PICK UP THE PACE NEXT TIME, YOU GODDAMN SLACKER!

is what it sounds like in my head sometimes. There's a tiny drill sergeant in there. No joke. Also, what he really said was way worse, I totally cleaned it up for you guys. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Now I am very very happy that I can run outside, even though I have to wait until after 8 so it's not as hot (because I'm a big, wussy baby), but it IS darker which does increase the chances of getting ass raped on a dark corner, but let's just think glass-half-full shit* OK? OK. I'm pretty excited about running but I have to ask . . . when does this "runner's high" kick in? Also, I'm afraid to get hooked on running because it's not like I'm going to run outside in February when the ground is covered in a thick layer of snow and ice and I can't run on a treadmill. Don't look at me like that I CAN'T. I feel like I'm going to fall off. I can't even walk on a treadmill without holding onto the handles. I don't know why you're doubting me. Have we met? My name is Jennie and I fall down a lot.

*stolen from here . . . sigh

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