It's page 99, for you perverts out there

I just read this article, about some libraries in Mississippi banning America (the book by Jon Stewart and The Daily Show), because there's a page in the book that has the faces of the Supreme Court judges pasted on fat, flabby, saggy, loose-skinned, naked bodies. I immediately pulled my copy of America from my bookcase to see what the big deal was. After all, these libraries are banning the book on the basis of JUST THIS ONE page. Wal-mart has also banned the book from its stores.

I'm looking at the picture right now. It's hardly pornography. It's just naked people, and not even attractive naked people at that. I think it's hilarious that this book is being banned for something so stupid and I CAN'T WAIT to watch The Daily Show tonight to see if they say something about it.

For a little over two GLORIOUS years, I worked at a public library. I'm willing to bet that America has graced its shelves. I have to wonder if these Mississippi libraries carry some of the books that my library did when I worked there. Two in particular leap to mind, and both of these books were shelved in the juvenile section.

The first was called It's Perfectly Normal. It dealt with sex, puberty, and sexual health in a VERY frank manner, basically telling kids exactly what to expect. If I remember correctly, and I think I do because it's hard to forget, there's a page with a bunch of cartoon drawings of naked people in ALL shapes and sizes.

The second book was Mommy Laid an Egg, my favorite for the title alone. Again, it dealt with sex and explained it to children without too much or too little information. The thing I remember best about it was the page of the mommy and daddy in their "special embrace" on top of a skateboard, holding balloons, and wearing party hats. The best part was that it was drawn like a little kid would draw it, with crayons and everything. HILARIOUS.

If these Mississippi libraries won't even carry America, I really doubt that they carry either It's Perfectly Normal or Mommy Laid an Egg. Maybe they're afraid of a run-in with the Mystery Pooper.

Let me explain. Before I worked for the Dayton Metro Library system, one of the branches had a bit of a problem. Someone would come into this branch, take a book from the shelf that he thought was immoral or inappropriate, poop in it, and put it back on the shelf. I think they eventually caught the guy, I guess by putting cameras in the bathroom or, I don't know, collecting stool samples from all of their patrons, but not before he ruined quite a few books.

This story eventually made it onto The Daily Show, back when Craig Kilborne hosted it. You know, back before the show was AWESOME.

So maybe, just maybe, the Mystery Pooper will be back. He'll shit all over some library's copy of America and the poo cycle will be complete.