I'm so sick of spell-check telling me douchebag isn't a word

I have a confession to make. I've recently become addicted to reruns of Melrose Place.

Whew. That feels better.

Honestly, I never knew how awesome this show was back when it was on. Probably because it started when I was ten so I wasn't allowed to watch it. I can't imagine why. Last night, Kimberly blew up the apartment complex and now poor, stupid Alison is blind. Blind! And bitchy!

I missed ONE DAY this week and a lot happened in that one episode. Matt was arrested for murdering someone. I think it was for murdering the wife of his gay lover, but I could be wrong. Kimberly, I guess, went a little bit crazier than she already was and blew up the apartments WITH EVERYONE WATCHING like, look Kim, if anyone lives they're going to KNOW IT WAS YOU. Now she doesn't remember doing it and she's locked up in the Crazy Ward of the hospital.

The best part about watching it, though, is when my dad happens to come in the room. He always tries to figure out what's going on, so most of our conversations go something like this:

Dad: Whoa, what happened?
Me: Kimberly blew up the apartment complex.
Dad: Which one is Kimberly?
Me: The crazy one.
Dad: The blonde?
Me: No, that's Heather Locklear and she's not crazy, just bitchy.
Dad: So, which one is Kimberly?
Me: Bree from Desperate Housewives. The redhead.
Dad: Oh. What's Lynette's husband doing in jail?
Me: That's Matt. I'm not sure cause I missed it yesterday, but I think they think he killed someone.
Dad: His wife?
Me: No, his gay lover was the one who was married.
Dad: Oh.
Me: I think his gay lover killed his wife.
Dad: Matt's wife?
Me: No! The gay lover's wife.
Dad: Oh. What's wrong with her?
Me: That's Alison. She lost her eyesight in the explosion.
Dad: I thought she was in Hong Kong.
Me: She was, but I think she came back to stop Billy's wedding.
Dad: Which one is Billy?
Me: The douchebag who married Charlotte from Sex and the City.
Dad: Wait, they got married?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: So when did Alison get back from Hong Kong?
Me: I don't know, I guess yesterday.
Dad: What were all these people doing in the same apartment complex at the same time?
Me: Dad, it's MELROSE PLACE. These things just happen.