I fell into a burning ring of fire

You're probably thinking I went and saw Walk the Line or something, but NO, I really fell into a ring of fire. It was all hot and fiery.

Ok, not really. I got off of work early yesterday and decided to spend the beautiful, sunny, 50 degree afternoon in a dark movie theater. So, although it is raining today, I decided not to complain since I totally wasted yesterday's beautiful weather. The movie was worth it, though. I want to have about 10,000 of Joaquin Phoenix's babies.

The decision to see the movie on a day when kids are off school and most people are off work, however? Not my brightest move. I went by myself again, taking one more step toward becoming Crazy Loner Cat Lady and sat in the back row, a few seats down from what looked like high school kids. I didn't think anything of it. Although they were being kind of loud before the show, I figured they would quiet down once the actual movie began. So naive. After a while, since my bladder is the size of a tiny, tiny, withered up pea (ha, get it? pea? pee? haha?) I had to go to the restroom and when I got back I chose a different seat. Unfortunately, two old ladies were sitting in front of me. Look, I realize they were all old and their hearing is probably not the greatest but seriously, Granny 1 and Granny 2, shut the hell up.

My biggest pet peeve is talking during a movie and NOT just in the movie theater. If I am watching a movie for the first time, I like complete silence. I realize that when I'm watching a movie with other people in someone's home I have no right to demand this, so I'll deal with the chatter but I WON'T LIKE IT. And in a movie theater? Oh my god. Stop talking. You are not in your living room. When you speak, it makes me want to hurt someone and that someone is you.

I should have known better. This theater is notoriously bad for movie-talkers. I believe it was at this theater that I politely told a teenage girl to turn around and shut the fuck up, after she shushed someone who asked her to get off of her phone. I suppose all the movie-talking is probably because tickets only cost $2.50 (it's a second-run theater) and who cares if you miss something during a show that cheap?

Well, I do so shut up.