I have a problem. I've been having paranoid flights of fancy as a direct result of watching the entire second season of Alias in three days and reading Helen Fielding's new book, Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination.
The other night I watched a couple of episodes of Alias before bed and I had dreams that I was a spy.
The problem with Olivia Joules is that it starts off innocently enough. She's like Bridget Jones, except she doesn't really care about her weight and she has an overactive imagination (hence the title). But then the novel turns into this whole Jane Bond/secret spy thing.
I probably would have been OK had I only watched Alias or had I only read the book. Both at the same time, not good.
As I was walking to class, I thought someone was following me. Well, he was because he was in my class.
I looked at the straw in my Frappicino (damn you, Starbucks) and wondered if I could use it as a weapon.
I deliberated on what dark organization Starbucks is a cover for.
I searched my room for bugs and phone taps (ok, I didn't, but I totally thought about it).
I wondered if the government was using my cell phone as a tracking device.
As I was sitting in the lobby of Building 9, waiting for my class to start, I started staring at the emergency exit and wondering if I could disable the alarm and get out quickly and quietly if I needed to. Don't ask me why I would need to suddenly run out the emergency exit without making any noise. You just never know when you're an undercover-super-secret-government spy.
Which I am not.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.