split seconds

I was almost in a car accident tonight, and I don't mean a little fender bender, I mean a horrendous crash that probably would have left me and a couple other people injured.

Some woman in oncoming traffic turned left right in front of me, and had I not slammed on the brakes I would have run right into the passenger side of her car. You know, the side that two kids were sitting on. There are probably skid marks on the road where I stopped. I didn't even have time to honk and I ALWAYS make a point to honk at stupid people but I was too freaked out at how freaking CLOSE I came to hitting ANOTHER PERSON.

The rest of the way home, while gripping the wheel and slowing down any time another car came near me (ok, not really), I started thinking about how the littlest things affect us. If I had been going just a little bit faster or if I hadn't noticed that car edging into the intersection or even if I'd been one hundredth of a second slower hitting the brakes I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing this. I'd be in a hospital or still at the scene or sitting downstairs calling all of my friends and complaining about the stupid bitch who ruined my car.

My aunt had surgery today. For breast cancer. She's ok, now, as far as we know, but it was definitely scary. Things might have been different if she'd put off going to the doctor for another week. I guess there's a lesson in it. I think most people tend to brush off little differences in their body, thinking they're just tired or that lump has always been there. I know that's what I'd do. Cancer is a scary word. We like to think it happens to OTHER people. Which is such a stupid thought. Cancer happens to everyone. If you don't have cancer, you know someone who has/had it. It's everywhere.

I guess today made me look at things a little differently. I can't promise the clarity will last. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to complaining about late patients or my stupid, white pants. But at least for the moment I can appreciate that everyone I love is alive and relatively healthy. Had the little things today gone just slightly wonky this might have been a very different entry.